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lost dreams

My name is MaS,
and i have yet to grow,
from my adolescent state,
to wat many call as a mature adult,
though i am no longer a teen by age,
thy shall act like a kid,
but only for a certain time,
or risk facing trouble thats shit,
im no longer a kid,
im no longer a teen,
but could i still act as one,
for the fun of it.

Life, is shit, and shit is life, and this is how h eruns his life. Life is unfair and so is he, he harden his soul to create a emotionless spree. He is soo lame he is soo quiet, but that is how he is. He is all vulgar and also disgusting, but he is who he is and not like other. He holds a principle, based on his soul, its always changing with the flow of time. The growth is there but it isn't obvious because the life he's in is so damn troublesome. He may seem all nice, he may seem like a pushover, but never try his limit or you'll face his anger. His life is tough, and he knows others too have it tough, but everyone is different and they should never be compared. Comparison kill his spirit, comparison killed his mind, it is as though it is no more his but rather it is others. He is disturbingly disturbed and sometimes extremely the extreme, but this is rare as its a rare phenomenon. He is nothing but a fool indeed, living thru this life with all he got. His life seems awful, but it is to him alone, he wouldn't understand others as how others wouldn't understand him. Thank you so much for reading this shit, as it means alot for his stuff to be read.


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Sunday, August 07, 2005

yo ho ... time to test my limits ....

yo ho ...... guys oohhh guys ..... since when havent i blogged ??? oohhhh thursday .... well well .... let me give u a round up of wat had happened to me on friday n sat .... well well ... on friday .... went to college as usual la ..... but this time ... i drove ..... fetch sue .... n then off to sunway ..... hehehe .... there ... i did sum work .... b4 sue went off for class with her fren .... n then ... i ate abit b4 moving to the foyer .... where ... i did more work .... not long after dat .... i was invited to play tai di .... ahhhhh .... sooo .... this was the 1st round .... n guess wat guys ..... i received a call from hitz.fm morning ... JJ n rudy ..... ahhhh .... i was the lucky person who got called for the contest ... cool with ur ex ..... they told me ... dat i could win the i-pod for not only me ... but also for my partner ... n my ex .... n also the gwen stefani latest album ..... n sooo .... they asked me sum stuff ... n then ... they said dat they were gonna connect me to my ex ..... ahhhh ... dam it .... n they say ... dat i have to make her admit dat i am better than her current bf in 1 way/thing ..... soo ... i gave a respond of ... " ohh dat is going to be tough " ..... but hey ... there were ideas of wat i can do running thru my mind dat time .... n they asked whether im ready ..... n soo ... they started to connect me to my ex ..... ohhh .... my heart was beating dammmmm fast .... n dam strong ..... nervous ma .... haihz .... n then .... as i waited .... no one picked up the phone ..... n it soon reached the voicemail .... n soo ... they say ... they'll try it again .... n soo ... i was hoping .. dat she would pick up the phone .... but again .... it reached the voicemail ..... n they say ... " sorry dude ... maybe another time " .... i was like .... ohhh .. ehh ... then ... put down ..... n it was a total shock for me .... sadness overcame me .... i was complaining all the way ..... how could anyone not complain .... losing a chance to win RM4500 worth of gifts ... n it was a sure win ... i would get the i-pod .... worth RM1500 ... 1 for myself ... 1 for my current partner ... n 1 for my ex ..... oohhhh .... sadness overcame me greatly ..... there were no way of them calling me again ... msg my ex .... well .. dat time ... she hadnt had a clue wat had happen .... n i was too shocked to be called ... n not be able to win ..... told her .... n she said ask them to call her back .... i was like .... how ??? haihz .... they call me ... not i ask them to call .... haihz .... sad le ...

well well ... i went on complaining the misfortune dat had happen .... n also asked my ex's close fren .. to ask my ex .... y ... y didnt she pick up the phone .... haihz ..... dam frustrated u know .... a chance blown to bits ..... ='( anywayz .... slowly ... i was able to pull myself together .... n just go on ... n then told sue lin ..... well ... actually ... it was her idea to join ... never realize we would get the chance to get chosen .... aih .... nvm la .... its all in the past .... n sooo ... i waited for sue to finish her class .... as i lepak around the foyer the whole afternoon .... yeah ... did sum work ... but after awhile .... couldnt do it anymore ... didnt had the mood to do it .... soo .. waited ... with amirul .... talking to pammy ... an ausmat student this year .... n soo ... it was fun listening to his crap ..... sure made me burst into laughter .... well .. not long after .... deepa came along .... n so did carina n wilson .... the usual me .. would always hang around ... n listen to them crap .... n talk .... n soo .... discuss a few stuff la .... then sue lin came down ..... hhehehe .... soon after ... carina n amirul left for pyramid ... as they had a movie to catch ... the island .... hahahaha ... then sue n i were in a dilemma .... on where to go ... wat to do .... then we finally decided ... to go to leisure mall for our dinner .... n soo ... i went back 1st ... as it was rather early to go for dinner ..... then .... i saw my ex online ..... she then told me not to worry n stuff .... they will sure call me again .... cos the contest is still not over .... dat wasnt how i think it was .... n then ... she told me the reason .... dat she didnt picked up the phone ..... n soo .... i tot it was pretty reasonable .... sooo ... not long after ... sue n i went for dinner at leisure mall ... we went around ... walked arund ... n then ate our dinner ..... but during our walk around .... i ... receive a msg from my ex .... seemingly like a hate msg .... ahhhh .... there u go ... another frenship sunken by the miscommunication .... of her best fren ... or maybe she doesnt like the way i was complaining about her not picking up ..... hello !!!! 1 i-pod per person .... n each i-pod is worth RM1500 .... plus gwen stefani's latest album ... who wouldnt complain man .... dam it .... n she told me off ... if sue n i were soo desperate to get an i-pod .... buy 1 ..... HELLO !!! .... if we had the money we would ... n told me not to use her n told me dat im a hypocrite .... n till now i dun understand wat hypocrite means ... well ... a 20GB i-pod .... 1 for each person ... including gwen stefani's latest album ... all for free ... wouldnt u complain for such a great lose .... well .. maybe u wouldnt ... depending on the person .... but hey ... lets be realistic here ..... im aint no rich fucker who can get watever i like ... soo .... be understanding ....

n sooo .... my live goes on ..... oohhh .... for her hate msg .... i apologise to her .... wat can do .... my fault ma ... since i complained too much ... correct or not ... ahh ... but no reply .... soo ... must be giving me d cold shoulders .... soo hurt i am .... but not for long .... i moved on .... n soo ... dats how my friday went ....

moving on to my sat .... i woke up rather late .... around 9 like dat ..... close to 10 .... ahhh ... i was tired the day b4 .... of course ... it was a long day .... n i did quite a few chores ... only a few ... b4 continuing to my lunch ... n my comp .... spend alot of time on it ..... n then ... cleaning it as well ..... cleaning the hardware ..... oohhh ... much work .... haihz ... sad sad ..... anywayz ... by the time it was evening .... i washed my car ..... n after washing my car ..... my family n i .... went out for dinner ..... oohhh ... we went all the way to SS2 for dinner .... nasi kandar kayu ..... omg ..... there was too much to eat .... even i couldnt finish eating ..... had to bring back sum of the food dat we ordered .... anywayz ... by the time i got back home ... i had to mop the floor .... luckily ... only the upstairs floor ...... n soo ... i did the cleaning ..... hehehe ... crazee .... n then ... had a nice cold bath .... ITS FREAKING HOT NOWADAYS !!!!!!!!!! n then ... just played abit on my comp ... b4 retiring to my bed ........ oohhh ... was a short round up for sat ....

well ..... on sunday .... it was rather hectic ..... in the morning ... i woke up .. around 8 ..... n then went to my comp for awhile .... b4 being called to have breakfast .... yeah yeah .. of course with my parents .... oohhh ... i drove of course ..... hahahaha .... n then went back home .... n clean up the front part of my house ... outside the house compound there is an area of plants .... saw a plant down ... n i had to throw the plant out .... n then ... had to catch some lil "ulat bulu" or caterpillar ..... cos they were eating my mother's beloved daun limau .... n she loved it alot ... anywayz ... i caught quite a number of them ... feasting on the leaves of the daun limau .... n soo ... later .... had to move a pot n the plant .... the plant's leaves were rather sharp ... n had poked me ... n cut me abit .... moving it to the neighbours house ... cos the neighbour wanted it ... n we dun wan it .... anywayz ... the daun limau plant was later moved to the back ,... by my father n i ..... n the trimmed sum serai ... i dunno the english name though .... n later went to play my comp ...... oohhh ... not long after dat ..... my father said he wanted to buy ink cartridge for his printer dat he brought back not long ago .... n soo ... he said ... lets go to low yat .... i said ... ok la .... n at dat time .. i was chatting with miss joey ... n bugging hr for a new post ... n then left for low yat la .... soo ... went there ..... knowing ... my father n i ... wouldnt really click soo .. i just keep quiet .... haihz ... n then after buying the stuff ... he told me ... dat he wanted to carry ... a table up to my computer room .... n he will do his work at his table ... n oohhh .... it was no easy task .... fucker .... my left arm was already giving me trouble as it is .... dam it ... n yet he wanted to move the table downstairs to upstairs .... n it was rather big .... alot of moving work here .... i was raining .... meaning sweating soo much .... dat i wetted my whole t-shirt .... ahh ... after dat ... got it done .... set up the new position ... n all ... good to go .... n then had a nice lunch ... filling lunch .. n back to my beloved comp .... hahaha ...

wow ..... i've been blogging for a lnog time havent i .... hhahaha ... nvm nvm .... .actually ... this is rather a long post ... since it consist of 3 days .... back to back .... hahaha .... yes ... this is my mundane life ... good shit to read ..... u can hate me .... or u can support me ... or u can just be neutral to wat i say .... but hey ... this is wat i got to say about myself ok ..... hahaha ... well .. d story is until there ... cos .... dat is when i started to watch my anime ... n then ... blogged after .... meaning until now la ....

anywayz .... dun blame me for being human .... dun blame for being soooooo flawed ... cos this is the way i am ..... i cant be perfect can i .... neither can others .... soo .... let me complain .... n just let it be .... cos after awhile .... i'll forget about it ... but if u were to make a big fuss over it .... dun ever think i'll forget it easily ..... n dats who i am .... kill me if u wan ... do watever u wan to me if u wan ... i wont resist .... but hey ... at least give me the rite to speak my own mind .... hahahaha

im really a sakai bastard for saying all of those am i not ??? hahaha ... let it be ... let it be ... let it be ...... cos i like the way i am .....

n soo .... i would like to end it ... by saying ... nothing is perfect ..... n there is no perfect plan .... n there is no perfection in our life ..... deal with it .... face the challenge ... n u shall grow to be better .... depending ... on how u r

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