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lost dreams

My name is MaS,
and i have yet to grow,
from my adolescent state,
to wat many call as a mature adult,
though i am no longer a teen by age,
thy shall act like a kid,
but only for a certain time,
or risk facing trouble thats shit,
im no longer a kid,
im no longer a teen,
but could i still act as one,
for the fun of it.

Life, is shit, and shit is life, and this is how h eruns his life. Life is unfair and so is he, he harden his soul to create a emotionless spree. He is soo lame he is soo quiet, but that is how he is. He is all vulgar and also disgusting, but he is who he is and not like other. He holds a principle, based on his soul, its always changing with the flow of time. The growth is there but it isn't obvious because the life he's in is so damn troublesome. He may seem all nice, he may seem like a pushover, but never try his limit or you'll face his anger. His life is tough, and he knows others too have it tough, but everyone is different and they should never be compared. Comparison kill his spirit, comparison killed his mind, it is as though it is no more his but rather it is others. He is disturbingly disturbed and sometimes extremely the extreme, but this is rare as its a rare phenomenon. He is nothing but a fool indeed, living thru this life with all he got. His life seems awful, but it is to him alone, he wouldn't understand others as how others wouldn't understand him. Thank you so much for reading this shit, as it means alot for his stuff to be read.


taggy board


posts that had passed

the past of this blogger

credits


Monday, February 28, 2005

hohoho ... wazzup

muahahaha .... me n my tired self ... all over again ..... wow ... NS ppl sure love to cut it close dun they .... well .... im still deciding to enter uni in july ..... despite my parents rushing me to enter uni now ... n defer the stupid fucking NS forever .... well .... i still say ... im not prepared to go into uni just yet ..... im really not prepared at all ....... cant be helped la ..... well ... i hope they respect my wish ..... anywayz .....

dat would mean i would be freeloading for awhile ...... im suppose to work for my dad .... but i have no idea wat to do ...... but maybe i would drop by his office to superwise abit the office .... considering the situation of my father's office ..... but hey ... if im up to it ......

anywayz .... this should be a short post ... considering dat im tired .... n i have to wake up early tomoro morning ... to send my father off ..... wahhhh .. tiring .... most definately ..... but wat can i do .... have to send him .... cos no one else will .... n looks like i have alot of bills to settle tomoro ...... house bills dat is .... muahahahaha .... well ..... i tot of helping sue lin move in tomoro ... but she postpone her wish to move in to wednesday .....

soo i guess i have to reschedule my plans for the week ..... very hard la ... life is very uncertain ...... for me dat is .... hahahahaha .... how stupid am i ..... i forgot to post sumthing quite important ...... as in a event dat i went for la ..... hahahahaha .... my stupidity n forgetfulness is getting to me .....

well .... guess wat guys ....................................... i went for the Hitz.fm 8th Birthday Bash ..... at sunway lagoon surf beach ...... muahahaha ..... i was lucky ... cos my fren invited me to go ..... but unfortunately .... i dun enjoy it s much s the other ppl at the birthday bash ..... wat can say ... not used to the atmosphere ........ s u would all know i dun club ..... cos i hate cigarette smoke .... as it makes me sick .... s in literally sick ...... falling ill like dat ..... well .... ppl was still smoking around ..... muahahahaha

well for starting .... went to the birthday bash with another 3 guys .... all my old schoolmates from MBS ... wahhh ... not very close to the other 2 ... but was quite close to dat other 1 .... hahahaha .... anywayz ... we left from cheras pretty late .... but .. i guess its normal ... since there were a few delays .... n then ... we were expecting to be wet ....... soo we brought sum extra clothes ... prepared for it ... but ... we didnt get wet anyway ..... wat a shame ... there were ppl who were getting wet ..... n not to mention ... i saw elya with his gf ..... muahahahahaha

anywayz ... we saw sum nice performances by local artist ..... which would include .... jaclyn victor ... n yeah ... dun scold me if i get the name wrong .... i simply spell wan ...... ahhh yes .... james baum .... V.E. ....... disagree ..... syko g ....... dragon red ...... k town klan ..... n frequensy cannon ????? dunno who the hell they r .. but they were like .. geeks ..... well ... anywayz ..... i was there .. to look around for pretty babes in bikini ..... but to my disappointment .... there werent many ......

ahhhh ... such a waste .... but ... did manage to get sum viewing experiences .... hahahaha ... as promised ..... i only see .. no touch .... just see .... muahahahaha .......... ooooooooo ... not to forget to mention ..... we .... the 4 guys ... didnt had our dinner ... b4 going for the birthday bash ..... wahhhhh boy wre we starving ..... no freaking joke ..... muahahahaha .... but i wasnt dumb enuf .... just to let myself starve .... soo ... went n eat the pizza dat were being sold there ...... muahahaha ..... not bad la ...... at 1 piece b4 it started ... n then ... in the middle .... i could feel my stomach aching for food .,...... soo ... since the others werent high on food for dat moment ..... i quickly .... took the initiative .... to buy another slice of pizza .... n as opportunist ..... the others wanted a slice as well ....

wakakakaka ... soo ... we enjoyed .... the pizza .... while enjoying the show ..... hahahaha ..... well .... n not to forget ........ i took a pic with resh monu himself .... of course with my frens as well .... hahahaha .... wat can say .... he was there in the crowd with us .... during the show ..... hahahaha ... wow isnt he hyper ..... hahahahha

well ... the show ... end .... well around 11sumthing ..... hahahaha ... of course ... they continued to play on dance music for the ppl to dance to ..... hahaha ... n there were alot of ppl in the pool ... wetting themselves .... n having fun in the cooling water ..... hahahaha ... seeing girls in bikini splashing water at each other ... wahhhhh .... such nice views .... trust me ... its super nice views .... hahahaha .... arent i perverted ...... abuden .... this is me ma ..... wakakakaka .... of course ... those around me .... u shud know dat i am like dat .... normal ..... wahhhhh .... well ... its an impression i made on them ... so be it .... i dun wanna hide my true self anyway .... hahahahah .... hahaha ... my frens n i .... were discussing ... s to which girls were dam hot n dam chun .... muahahahaha

ehhhhh ... didnt i say dat this would be short ?????? omg ...... im bragging about soo much stuff ..... wahhhhh

hahaha .. ok ok ... back to my story ..... hahahaha ... after the much of the events had ended ... we lepak at sunway lagoon for awhile ... hoping to get pics with more celebrities .... n guess wat .. got pic together with james baum ... not bad eh ... nyahahahaha ...anywayz .... not long after dat .. we left .... muhahahaha ..... we went to sri petaling for a session of mamak .... or dinner .... since we didnt had a proper dinner .... had roti canai n ais limau ...... then we chat n chat .... about horror movies n stuff .... n about an idea for a super horrorfying movie ..... but considering how scary it would be ... n its effect .... we said ... this kinda movie ... shall never happen wan ..... anywayz ... we did talk about the movie ..... the korean movie ... about the handphone wan .... forgot wats the title .... anywayz .... by the time we were done ... it was 2 sumthing .... then i send them all back ....

i got to reach back home ... around 3 ..... n then .... i went to take a bath .... cos im sooo bloody sweaty ...... n then .. i slept at 4 .... woke up around 9.30-10 like edat .... wahhh .. was pretty tired .... wakakakaka .... anywayz .... dats how it was .. for me ... on ...... sat nite till sunday morn ......

other than dat ... it was just a pretty normal day for me ..........

im sorry to bore u guys with this stupidly written post .... but it is sumthing isnt it ??? better than nother rite ??? well .... i started around ...... 10.54 ...... n i ended around ..... 11.44 ....... muahahahaha .....

sooo .... this is MaS reporting ..... for the life of MaS

posted by Elwyn at 10:54 PM | 0 comments

Wednesday, February 23, 2005

wahahahaha

its been a long time since i last blog ... hasnt it .... well .... i think im better than sum other ppl ..... hehehehe anywayz ..... let me recall wat i did in the past few days la .... hehehehe yes yes i remember .... i've been doing housework ... while ppl r already starting their uni ... well cant be helped isnt it ..... my moither isnt home ..... for a whole week .... soo .... i have to fill in her shoes for awhile ....... n to me ..... omg ..... its not easy .... really ...... cleaning the house .... which has 5 cats .... isnt easy u know ......

every must mop the floor .... cos the cats shed their fur everyday ..... n omg ...... this mop .... was able to clean up all the fur ...... n i dun see the fur at all .... omg ..... this mop is really useful ..... really .... well ..... its truly tiring ..... now i know y my mother always rest after each chore she does .... cos it is very tiring ..... n its no fucking joke ..... of course .... this is bcos .... im not used to doing alot of housework ...... n i only did a few ... since the maid ran away .....

anywayz ...... next thing i wanna blog about is ...... the fucking stupid NS officers ....... stupid assholes didnt receive my faxed in letter dat i wanna join the the 2nd batch NS ...... cos i was worried about entering uni ... on the supposed wednesday .... but ..... came to think ..... n talk to my father ... about me entering in july .... whether i get in NS or not .... on tuesday morning ... went to the NS office .... to only realize ... they never received ..... i tot maybe i could at least know the answer to my appeal ..... but i was sooooo wrong .....

anywayz .... on tuesday .... was the 1st time i ever cook ... dinner on my own .... meaning .... a proper dish ..... hahahaa .... fried lou shi fun ...... or ..... in english .... rat tail noodle ...... hahahaha ...... anwyayz ... i have been observing my mother cook .... n helped her many times in cooking this dish ..... hehehehe ..... n fortunately .... i was able to to cook up a decent meal ..... n it didnt taste bad at all .... except dat i forgot to put in the chilly paste at the beginning of the cooking ...... but .,.... i also underestimated the amount of lou shi fun to cook .... soo ..... i end up ...... hungry yet again .....

soo .... u know wat i did ..... n since i have sum remaining lou shi fun ..... i cook for myself ... another round ..... of fried lou shi fun ...... but this time was a pure failure .... since ... i accidentally put in tooooo much kicap masin ...... n dat is called ... soy sauce .... if im not mistaken ..... n this lou shi fun is extra blacker than my 1st round of cooking ..... hahahaha ..... im such a newbie in cooking ... have to practice .... since .... i would have to fend for myself .... in the future .... soo .... learning how to cook ... n how to prepare to cook ...... im soo lame .... not knowing all this .... but frying an omelette has already been on my menu for quite sumtime ...... soo ... if u can fry ... i also can .... theres nothing much to it ..... n rice .... i think i can cook rice also .. .but with rice cooker la ..... not those very traditional way ... like steaming or any other way ....

wow ... this post is getting pretty long ... as soon as i start to write ... it seems like there is no end to my post ... anywayz .... im pretty tired from the days work ... n yet ... i can still find time to play quite a number of rounds ..... n it was pretty long ..... anywayz .. on wed nite .... i had a nice dinner .... expensive ... but nice .... hehehe .... with a wonderful company ..... but she is also tired ..... n so was i ..... soo .. we didnt spend much time together .... but .... she maybe helping me to clean the house ... this would be much better .... hahaha .... wonderful news to my ear ..... hehehe

i know dat the longer the post is ... the more the reason dat ppl dun wanna read it ..... dats wat i feel la .... but ... i think it is pretty much the truth isnt it ???? unless it is interesting ..... they wouldnt stick around to know the ending ... nyahahahaha .... wats stupid words i have just said .... anywayz ... dats pretty much wat i have accomplish soo far .....

ahhhh yes ..... as for my plans .... for my own future ..... this is the option i have .... if i get to enter NS in the 2nd batch ...... i would be leaving behind kl .... n go for my ns .... as it would start around .. the 14th ...... if im not mistaken la .... but if i didnt get to enter .... then .... the story will be like this

i will defer ...... forever ..... n i will be staying at home .... doing partial housechores .... working for my dad .. under his trading company .... n i would ... start to take the initiative to see wat my frens in VU (Victoria Uni) is studying .... n at the same time ... study wat they r studying .... but at a much slower pace .... which i could comprehend wat is being taught ... so dat .... i can get into the study mood ...... n i know ... all this plans r just words .....

n i usually dun follow them word to word .... but ... i hope ... i would follow this plan word for word .... cos .... it is very important .... anywayz ..... for all who knows dat i have high bp ..... good news ..... my bp (blood pressure) has dropped .... but im pretty sceptical about this results ... as the condition was totally different from the 2 check ups i went b4 ..... well .... im going for another check up b4 i leave for NS ..... dat is if i leave .... just to be sure ..... better safe than sorry .... dats wat they say .....

this is MaS reporting ... the life of MaS

posted by Elwyn at 10:36 PM | 0 comments

Saturday, February 19, 2005

ahhhh

nasty ..... shit ..... hehehehe ..... im stupidly crapping here ..... this time its a stupid post .. with nothing but stupidity ..... and idiocy ..... if there were such words ....

anywayz ...... im feeling soo tired ... soo drained .... just wanna crap shit here ...... now wondering ... whether i shud really but the E398 or not .... cos .... i hear it is better option than the K700i ..... i dunno .... but i wanna wait ... n see ...... maybe i go ask my dad ..... hehehehe ... i wan a new phone ...... pretty badly ....

but ... it will be redundent ... to me .... if i go for NS ..... haihz ..... still waiting for news whether i am accepted or not ..... crazy fucking assholes ... the NS officers la .... dun allow me to check whether i am accepted in NS or not thru phone .... assholes ..... pure assholes ...... if i knew ... i can straight away plan wat to do next ..... now im in a total mess ...... totally messed up shit ..... haihz .....

cant be helped la ..... my stupidity reign supreme nowadays ..... can be said ..... im living in my own world .. called stupidville ...... haihz .... im such a sad case ..... those who read this sure thinks im such an idiot ..... hahahaha ...... n u guys must think im such a fool ..... hahahaha .... well it would certainly be true .....

maybe im just going thru 1 of my down periods ...... i dun have PMS if dats wat u think ..... just mentally .... my brain my be low on sumthing .... causing me to be lethargic .... n slow .... n extremely stupid ..... not forgetting feeling rather low n depressed ..... well .... maybe i shud spend sum time off the comp .... n maybe catch a few zzzzzz ...... but .... im hungry ..... but ... i have no appetite ..... weird .... but sooo true ...... well ... im stil la crazy idiot ......

too all ..... thx for reading this crappy shit today ..... im sorry dat u have to read such crappy shit .... but im not really in a happy mood ..... or active ...... sooo forgive this idiot .....

posted by Elwyn at 12:49 PM | 0 comments

Friday, February 18, 2005

ooohhhhh left out sumthing important .. i think ....

i did say about the expensiveness of KLIA ... well .... i forgot to mention ... it cost me .... 10 for parking .... 11 for food .... n 15 for toll .... omg ....... big hole .... cilaka .... im no more receiving money ... summore got plans for new phone ... but need to discuss with my dad ..... anywayz .... bloody expensive to go n come back from KLIA ... n not forgetting the petrol ..... haihz .... 2 much ....

well ... complaining about money is all i can do rite now ..... haihz ... see la how ... luckily ... my accounting is good today ... my money tallies with the account i have ..... means .... all is good .... still wondering where did the RM 50 went to ...... RM50 missing .... big amount ... still searching for it ... hehehe

posted by Elwyn at 12:25 AM | 0 comments

Thursday, February 17, 2005

heyya

wahhhhh ..... this whole day ... which is thursday ..... 17 ...... send off a fren .... whom im not dat close to ..... ahhhh ...... amir invited me to go send her off ma ..... soo ... go n send lor ..... anyway ...... saw a few frens there .... college frens dat is ......

wahhhhhh alot of tears were shed this very night ..... but fortunately .... is not a farewell forever kind of good bye tears ..... just tears of missing dat person ..... ooohhhhhh ... who is dat person ..... ahhh she is christina .... chan .... n since if im not mistaken she doesnt like her chinese name soo much .. soo i dun call her by her full name ..... hehehehehe .... anywayz ...... reach there around 7.30 ..... quite sharp ..... then .... see some dramas ..... tears n stuff .....

finally .... saw her went in ...... ahhhh .. im not too worried ... cos can see her ma ... technology has made seeing ppl who r far away easier ...... webcam is the answer to see their face ...... n skype is the answer to hear their voice .... at a very very much cheaper rate ..... im serious ..... skype is good shit ......

anywayz ... after sending her off ..... makan .... at burger king ....... expensive shit .... dam it ..... lubang semakin besar .... tak guna .... but i have to eat ... soo .... eat lor ..... n then .... listen to stories lor ... wahhhh .... listening to stories never heard b4 .... by amirul ... n a few other ppl ....... hoyo .... cant believe it ... anywayz .... news of naruto (a very famous anime) being licensed ... meaning dat cannot find the link to download it .... has a very big impact .... especially on neal .... hehehehe .... didnt realize he was such an avid fan of naruto ..... hehehehe ..... im not sooooo into naruto ... but its a extremely nice anime to watch ..... im serious ..... funny .... serious ... n its seriously good shit to watch ....

anywayz ..... news ..... from the queen monkey ..... her blog la .... she is not going bac kto NS .... for another 2 weeks ??? hahahaha .... lucky he r... another infection it seems ..... good la ..... im still in a mess of the NS shit .... now awaiting for news about it .... if approved .... i will have to get ready for NS ..... in march ...... n it seems many many ppl r asking me about it ..... wahhh ..... maybe bcos ... i was spreading the news i was going to NS ..... but now im really in a mess .... if its not approved ... i will enter uni next week .... n i havent registered anything at all .... wahhh .. .dangerous shit .....

hehehehe ... wahh ... now only i realize its been a really long time since i wrote such a long blog ..... really .... this time its long ..... i think la .... anywayz ....today didnt meet with my beloved ..... ahhh .... but dun worry ... gonna watch constantine with her tomoro .... hhehehehe .... bought the tickets already u know ...... hehehehe .. then go for an open house ..... heheheh .... not bad eh .... ahhhh ... welll ... im sure she is bz .... her uni is starting this coming monday .... soo .... let her do her stuff lor today .... n she slept n i really wonder ... did she really do her stuff ???

welll there is no way for me to find out ... soo ..cant be helped ..... anywayz .... a new record of speed limit for this year ... 2005 .... at the moment ... its 140 km/h ...... good speed ..... n was able to drive back from klia in 35-40 mins .... which usually takes 1 hour to get back .... which is good speed .... hehehehe .... anywayz ...... dats pretty much about it ....

MaS

posted by Elwyn at 11:47 PM | 0 comments

Tuesday, February 15, 2005

heyya .... this is to entertain ... n to inform ...

hehehehehe ... s u all know .... valentine's day had jsut past ...... n i have been spending my time with dat special sumone of mine ..... hehehehehe .... those who know ... u know ok ...... those who dun ..... dun assk .... lazy to entertain u guys ..... anywayz .... the day b4 ... on the day .... n the day after valentine ... we spend time together ..... isnt dat nice ...... of course its nice .....

sunday .... d day b4 valentine ...... she visit my house ... collect ang pau from my mother ..... then she left for movie ..... n then later in the night ... went over to her house .... n collect angpau ..... n then went for carissa's n david's farewell party ...... ahhh .. after dat ..... the surprise ..... nyahahahaha ... she knew it ..... but was abit surprised also la ..... hehehehe .. she was happy .... good good .....

n then ... v-day ..... hehehehehe ... spend time in the afternoon .... n had a nice dinner ...... wahhhh really nice dinner ..... hehehee ... not forgetting toook sum memorable pics .... n she posted it on friendster already .... heheheheheh ......

n today .... means a day after v-day ... toook more pics ... but in mv ..... by a proffesional photographer .... ahhh ... expensive shit .... but i still pay ..... hehehehehhee ..... wahhh .... she looks soooooo diff .... with make up .... trust me .. u woulnt recognise her also ..... unless u were there to watch the transformation .....

n sooo there u have it folks .... my latest post ...... im sure this would be read by my old loyal reader ..... miss joey the queen monkey ....

posted by Elwyn at 10:20 PM | 0 comments

Sunday, February 13, 2005

sorry for long time no blog

ahhhhh its been centuries since i bloged .... kesian .... but unfortunately .... i dun have anything to blog about .... n 1 more thing ... i was sooooooo dam bz during cny .....

bringing my cousins from johor all over ..... watch movies ... even late night movies .... ahh the late night movie .... constantine .... nyahahahaha ..... sleepy ... n feverish .... wat a combo to watch constantine ..... nyahahahahaha .... finally i lasted till 2 .....

wahahahahaha ..... the few days of cny ... was definately tiring .... with poor sleep ./..... cos of crammed up spaces to sleep ...... n constant noise pollution ...... definately cant sleep ....

now dat it is over ... im still tired ... having to clean abit here n there .... ahhhh ..... such pain ...... troublesome shit ..... but wat can do .... haihz .....

well .... now my new modem is giving me problems ..... n dat shit is really pissing me off .... sumtimes it works ... sumtimes it dont ..... dam it .... soo .. use back my old modem .....

well .... now ..... getting ready for valentine .... nyahahahaha ...... final preparation ..... is soon ..... ahhh .. stilll got lots to do .....

well dats all for now ...... thank u for reading .....

posted by Elwyn at 2:56 PM | 0 comments

Wednesday, February 02, 2005


ahh finally ... the pic could be taken ..... hehehehhe ..... look at the misery on colin's face ... the birthday boy ..... hhahahahahah .... have fun dudez .... this is about the gathering of ex-ausmat 2004 ..... n a farewell party for those who r going to aust ...... all the best too all of u ....

posted by Elwyn at 1:42 AM | 0 comments


stupid faggot chunky ...... stupid guy .... all he knows is his money ..... stupid idiot ..... haihz .... kacau the pic taking session .... ppl susah susah posing ... he like dat .... dun care liao lor .. stupid idiot ..... n yeah .... everyone was cursing his name .....

posted by Elwyn at 1:32 AM | 0 comments


hehehehe ... nearing the end of the prty .... wat else to do .... pose for the pic la .... wat else .... nyahahahaha ... this is an all guys posing ..... wat a bunch of faggots ..... dat also includes me ..... nyahahaha ... im bad mouthing my ownself

posted by Elwyn at 1:29 AM | 0 comments


ahh the spectators from afar .... hehehehe ... anywayz ... this ppl were enjoying themselves when colin received his birthday present from those ppl there ..... well ... this was after the birthday .... cos the camera was a slow wan .... soo .... it wasnt really efficient enuf to get as many pics as it could

posted by Elwyn at 1:23 AM | 0 comments


ooooooo now i see ...... he is rubbish .... meant to be thrown .... after use .... nyahahahahha ..... wat a bad joke on him ..... kinda a birthday preent from evreyone ....... instead of getting beaten into crap ..... he was thrown into the rubbish dump ..... hahahaha ... a milder birthday present .......

posted by Elwyn at 1:18 AM | 0 comments


omg ..... its a strip tease ..... ehh .... shudnt colin get a strip tease from a girl .... n not him getting stripped by ppl ..... omg ... wat a turn of events ..... i woner wat happen ....

posted by Elwyn at 1:13 AM | 0 comments


look at colins face ....... wat is dat ???? could it be ?>??? the return of the infection .... fortuntely ... this infection is only his ..... well ..... look ... he is happy to get cake on his face .... u know y ???? cos it was his birthday ....

posted by Elwyn at 1:09 AM | 0 comments


ahhh ahhh ..... i wonder wats afendi soooo happy about .... must be sumthing to do with his hand ...... whre is his other hand anyhow ???? well .... looks like jocelyn kung is enjoying it .... or is she faking it ???

posted by Elwyn at 1:05 AM | 0 comments


wahhh ..... ppl r realyl having fun ..... as usual ... this is me ..... simply taking pics ..... dun care man ... if got camera .... just take the pics .... hehehehehe ......

posted by Elwyn at 1:03 AM | 0 comments


ahhh .... ppl bz drinking n eating ....... isnt it obvious ..... sumone has a whole piece of chicken in his mouth .... trying to swallow it down ..... ahhhhh ..... well ... this was another candid pic i took

posted by Elwyn at 1:00 AM | 0 comments


oooooo aik hoong .... dun poke the chicken like dat .... omg god .... hahahaha ..... wahhh ... looks like ppl r having much much fund ..... n wats with christina ..... anywayz ... where am i ...... of course there wont be many pics of me ... im camera man ma

posted by Elwyn at 12:56 AM | 0 comments