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lost dreams

My name is MaS,
and i have yet to grow,
from my adolescent state,
to wat many call as a mature adult,
though i am no longer a teen by age,
thy shall act like a kid,
but only for a certain time,
or risk facing trouble thats shit,
im no longer a kid,
im no longer a teen,
but could i still act as one,
for the fun of it.

Life, is shit, and shit is life, and this is how h eruns his life. Life is unfair and so is he, he harden his soul to create a emotionless spree. He is soo lame he is soo quiet, but that is how he is. He is all vulgar and also disgusting, but he is who he is and not like other. He holds a principle, based on his soul, its always changing with the flow of time. The growth is there but it isn't obvious because the life he's in is so damn troublesome. He may seem all nice, he may seem like a pushover, but never try his limit or you'll face his anger. His life is tough, and he knows others too have it tough, but everyone is different and they should never be compared. Comparison kill his spirit, comparison killed his mind, it is as though it is no more his but rather it is others. He is disturbingly disturbed and sometimes extremely the extreme, but this is rare as its a rare phenomenon. He is nothing but a fool indeed, living thru this life with all he got. His life seems awful, but it is to him alone, he wouldn't understand others as how others wouldn't understand him. Thank you so much for reading this shit, as it means alot for his stuff to be read.


taggy board


posts that had passed

the past of this blogger

credits


Monday, February 27, 2006

Life isn't just fair

well life is certainly unfair isnt it. well this is the story of my mother who got into an accident where the back of her car got rammed into.

well it all began when my mother was driving to penang to meet up with her fren. well she was driving alone. as the story was told by her to me, here it goes. my mother said it was raining extremely heavy and visibility was pretty poor that time. and soo, there was 2 cars dat was already involved in an accident, 1 of the car is already knocked to the emergency lane but another was stuck on the middle lane. and sooo the car in front of my mother's car avoided the car that was stalled in the middle of the road, but suddenly brake after avoiding it, my mother did the same. it was an emergency break. well my mother break in time but unfortunately the driver of the car behind her was speeding extremely fast and couldnt brake in time and rammed into my mom's car. devastating enough lucky my mom's car was an audi was a really really hardy car. she was unharmed. but her car was badly damage at the back. wanna see how it is here is the pictures ....










bad isnt it. well it certainly is, because now its gonna render me transport-less to sunway on certain days, because my mother is gonna need the car sometimes. and of course, the repairs and the claims from the insurance may take 1 month or maybe longer. still pretty unsure about it. and soo this is a challenge i certainly have to live thru.


to the next thing.......


ahhhh 1st day back at uni after a long long time. seriously im still not used to it. and i fell asleep during my 1st lecture, Management Accounting. seriously despite me popping sweets into my mouth, i could fall asleep. this is the stoner lecturer i've heard about from my frens. and sooo this may take a toll on me and my studies. self studies is better than studying under him. just do alot of work n studies the book and his notes.

and of course i did settled a few things. and also not forgetting my fees, there is something wrong with it. i paid extra for the computer lab fees. damn it, made rectifications about that nad they already told me what to do. forgot to consult with my parents. well soo be it. of course i only had 1 class today which is from 11.30-12.30 but i came and arrive at 8 and went back only like wat .... 6!! so be it i guess.

reading a book called mind gym, really got some good crap here. dunno wats its talking about, but it seems good. seriously....

well dats about it guys, im just a nobody, with an extremely boring n unfascinating life. and nahh i dun really go out, this is to save money. i have to live to save money to live on later on.

till then, nobody here will just leave his fatigue away. bcos he has loads on his minds.

posted by Elwyn at 10:08 PM | 5 comments

Sunday, February 26, 2006

The day i worked my ass off.

yeah yeah, despite me blogging this on sunday, i really worked myself up. well, i woke up on sat morning, had to clean up the cat litter, boy was it a stinker. then i took some clothes to be washed in the washing machine, n then i prepared some breakfast for myself,actually heated up some pizza leftovers from the night before. n then while waited for my breakfast to be heated up, i washed some bottles to be filled with water, n then later went to take in the clothes that was dried up from the day before, and then fold them up after my breakfast, and then i went to dry up the clothes that i put in for washing. and then i rested awhile for awhile before i clean up the drawers of my bedside table. oohhh it took awhile there, but still it took me awhile to clean it. but feeling rather lethargic then. then i went to changed a bedsheet cover for the bed in my comp room. n then i washed a 2nd load, but this time its a load of of bedsheets, and pillow covers. and then i took in the clothes that i dried up earlier, oohhh i did fold up the clothes that i took in earlier. and then i fold the other bunch of clothes i just took in. and then i went to rest for awhile and later dried out the bedsheets. nad then im done.

dun u guys consider that alot??? well it was alot of house work for me.

hahaha ... writer's block ... soo ... yeah stop here ....

till then .... see ya guys ....

love you guys ..... MUUUAAAACCCCKKKKZZZZ =p

posted by Elwyn at 10:28 AM | 3 comments

Thursday, February 23, 2006

A extremely super late CNY post,.

well this would be mostly filled with pics. havent got the time to edit it. if you can find me congratz. hehehehe

yeah yeah this is a formal pic of all the grandchildren and the grandfather. small isnt it ?

well the pic above is me with my 13 other coursins, well there are 15 of us, but 1 more is crying dunno where.

ahhh a 2nd pic of my relatives and i, well this was after the photoshoot of the entire family by a profesional photographer.

well now this pic has all of the grandchildren, including me n of course the crying cousin of mine. the complete set of grandchildren which would be 15 of us. not that big compared to others thats for certain.

ahhh this is a candid pic while the preparation for the formal photograph was taken.

everyone really really taking alot of pics, flashes flying around the hall.

hahahaha my 3 cousins from Johor, well they certainly are a good bunch of ppl. hehehehe

this is the cousin of mine who used my accounts illegally, took the advantage of me letting him watch my animes. sneaky little bugger.

ahhh yes yes this is the pic of the 1st day of CNY, realized how many ppl are in red. loads of them. muahahahaha.

ehh my cousins yet again, well we are relaxing a little here.

ahhh my aunts, CNY breakfast hehehehe.

my little cousins watching some kiddies vcd they brought.

ahhh gamblers young and old. hahahahaha and the edness for luck muahahaha.

ahhh some ppl havent bath yet and changed to their red clothes.

ahhhhh ppl watching tv, and in the background ppl gambling, the place where i lose my money.

a scene at the gambling place. look at that money. muahahahaha.

look at the amount of players who are playing black jack. muahahahaha







welll that is about it, thx for checking out this blog of mine. slowly it shall change. time to see how life goes on from now on. with loads of challenges ahead.

love you guys who comes here to read my blog, MUUUAAACCCCKKKZZZ =p

posted by Elwyn at 1:57 PM | 3 comments

A Tag That Has To Stop

Thank you for tagging me tracy.

Ok, i've been tagged. Let's see the 5 weird things about me is ....

1. Me sit cangkung in front of the comp from time to time.

2. My left arm bone can be dislocated from its socket at my will.

3. Me sleep dead, and even my house alarm which can be heard at least 3 houses away couldnt even wake the dead me.

4. Would you guys consider not drinking (alcohol), and smoking weird ??? and also hate the smell of the smoke too.

5. Me get worried if i dun get to a place on time or late. really worried.

well i know im suppose to tag others, but hey, im gonna stop this tag here. not tagging anyone .... hehehe ...

posted by Elwyn at 11:14 AM | 2 comments

Wednesday, February 22, 2006

Changes, that i never saw coming.

yes it was a change that i didnt see coming. and boy it was a real big slap on my face. had a hard time coping with it since it was totally unexpected. absolutely unexpected. something that i never calculate that would happen to me. oohhh it was certainly a deep strike to my brain and heart.


well, it seems that my mother wants me to change my major. sooo im guessing im changing my major from international trade and marketing to, another double major, which is something that i did not want to do earlier on, because i heard that it was motonous and stuff. haihz, nevermind la, just have to move on.

yes i am changing my major, because my mother had a talk with my aunt and uncle. and they told her that i would have a better job prospect in the future if i did accounting. and my mother knew that accounting and banking and finance is offered at Victoria University, and as a result i am changing my major from International Trade and Marketing to my new major Accounting and Banking and Finance. and i have less than 2 days to adjust to the change and prepare myself for 2 new different majors.

and soooooo this is another change in my life that was unforseen. will there be more changes ahead ? well i hope those changes will be for the better. or it could lead to my demise.

till then. i shall live on my life as how i plan and i hope i can stick to it till it becomes a real strong habit in me.

posted by Elwyn at 11:36 PM | 3 comments

Monday, February 20, 2006

Its a new year, so what else is new ?

ahhh, now since uni is gonna start soon, i have to kick my butt to start working on preparations for the new semester as life has to change. i know many has left VU to other unis, but i will still stay on. need to get alot of stuff. like, stationaries, papers, and other whatever stuff i need. i think i also need a whole pack load of sweets to keep myself up for this coming sem. i cant doze off in lecture anymore if i am to keep my grades at a good and acceptable level. really, i must turn a new leaf. but it all depends on my determination. i've read a few blogs about ppl who just went overseas to do their studies. im seriously thinking, that if i were to go overseas, then i might need to prepare myself with a whole bunch of skills. so far im at an acceptable level for cooking, and drying out clothes, but still lacking in a whole bunch of stuff, like cleaning and washing. well, that i'll focus later.

anywayz, life would be different now i guess. i must try my best not to stone as much as i did before. i need to learn a whole bunch of stuff, and not only academic stuff, but also stuff which would be useful to me, in my conversations, and also in real life. im really still lacking in that department. im really a slacker and a laid back person, but that has to change. i say that many times, yet i still didnt change. this time i shall try to push myself to the limits with my self determination. i must be be strong and not rever to my old lazy self. or so i say. i have a few things i need to do. like preparing a schedule once i get my timetable out. i need to spend my time more wisely this time around. cant afford anymore slacking. or so i say. i must hold myself to what i have said here today. i know this is a very different post from everything else. but this shall be a sharp reminder for myself that the life i used to lead must come to an end and a new one shall begin. or so i say.

this time around, i have to take care about my stationaries, my books, and the placing of stuff in my room. i still need to clean up my room despite my fatigue. but my laziness is holding me back. this shall no more be the case. i shall force myself to clean up the rest of my room no matter what. and of course try to clean up the computer room a little bit. and then i have to prepare the stuff, like my files, and stuff to be carried around for classes and stuff. new me, meaning new lifestyle (which is a must), new way of studying (which is necessary), new ways of thinking (which i desperately need), new ideas and stands of life (which shall be repaired from the old), and definately, a newer life, towards the ultimate goal.

ahhh, much to do but little time to do it. this is gonna be soo tough, i truly wonder if it is possible for me. i really wonder, and really hope that i can pull this off, so that it would last for the rest of my life. shall start anew, since life in uni is definately gonna be different for me. and sooooo life goes on despite whatever it throws at you. or so i say. well, whatever it throws at me, i will try my best to overcome it, which everything i've got.

shall this year be the same as the years before? or shall it be a totally different? or shall it just be a few minor changes, and everything else the same?

that i shall see soon.

well, life is certainly a bitch, sooo lets face it, and give it a bitch-slap to make things goes by smoother. hahahaha, as though it would happen.

well, time to go to sleep, body and mind extremely tired, and i have a long day ahead of me.

and that would be all i have to say today on this day, this very time, i shall ........ love you guys who comes and read my blog. of course this blog is just a lame ass blog of mine. and ohhh a word of advice ...........


dun like my blog, leave and dun come back, its not like im forcing you to read it ....

and sooo .... a final word, love you guys out there, and ....... MUUUUAAAACCCCKKKKZZZZ =p

posted by Elwyn at 11:54 PM | 7 comments

Friday, February 17, 2006

Ooohh, updates, after awhile.

Ahhh, its been awhile since i last blogged. haihz, what is wrong with me. not updating my blog. well, at least im back to blog a little for you guys there. oohhhh i did do some repairs on my blog. about the photobucket thingy, well i fixed it. but just in case i have to prepare myself a secondary blog skin just in case. hehehehe.

alright, as i was suppose to clean my room the last time i blogged, well, i was really procrastinating a whole lot. dam my laziness. well it was clean enuf for me that day. actually i didnt do much. after that i got addicted to a game, which was really something i wanted to play for a while now, and it is called "Black & White 2". oohhh boy was i addicted. i could play till it was 5.30 in the morning for the 1st night. and then play from midnight till 7.30 in the morning. boy was i addicted. now no more. because i finished the damn game, but with cheats. bad bad me. but hey at least it stopped the addiction.

aahhhhh valentine, why dont we skip that ok. me dont want to say much about it. cos it is between me and my loved 1. and so the story goes on.

oohh after that i went missing for awhile also a mistery that i shall only tell those whom i know and trust, and of course those are my dear friends, but also under 1 condition, only if they ask la. hahaha

ok thats about it from me. hahaha a lzy blogger doesnt get much readers anywayz. just blogging for fun ... maybe i shall blog about my chinese new year once i settled all the pics ...

till then, see ya guys, and love u guys out there.

MUUUUUAAAAACCCCCCKKKKKKKZZZZZZZZZ =p

posted by Elwyn at 5:40 PM | 6 comments

Thursday, February 09, 2006

Busy Busy Busy !!!!!!! But Extremely Tired

hehehehe, like my title propose, i will be quite busy with cleaning up, this should be the finalizing of the cleaning up and reorganizing my stuff both in my computer room, and also my room. it would also include the redecoration of my room. any ideas as to wat i should put in my room? i've have a basic lay out of wat i wanna do with my room. but it could still use some improvment. maybe when i am done with the cleaning up and the reorganizing would i only start to think about it. cos i have tons more to clean up. the last time i cleaned its just a slip shot. dumping stuff into 1 area and not really organizing them properly.

well i better get started or else i would be way behind schedule, and i have to prepare to clean up the dust as well .... haihz ....

anywayz, this is the life a a dull guy, and he wishes everyone to have a great day .... hahahaha ....

love you guys out thee ..... MUUUUAAAACCCCKKKKKZZZZZ =p

posted by Elwyn at 11:43 AM | 1 comments

Monday, February 06, 2006

Life goes on, with changes of course.

life still goes on, and i would still say life sucks. much changes are to be made in this coming time. much with my family, with my computer, with my appearance, and of course a few others things dat i havent finalize yet. of course, i also have to prepapre myself for unforseen changes. prepare myself mentally and physically of course. as for my soul. there is nothing much i can do to prepapre it for the changes as far as i can think la.

now i have 2 computers to take care of. after making the new computer out of leftover parts from my slow upgrade and with a few new stuff, the old comp is ready. boy, there was really alot of sweat, a drop of blood, and a few bruises in making dat new computer. boy was it tough. and there was even 1 part dat was not working. it got me sooooo worked up on fixing it, dat i just had to try everything i could to fix it. in the end i gave up. n slept near 4 in the morning. actually, there was a bunch of problems dat occured during the building of the new comp, and also caused a new problem in my current computer. soon after im finished with the other comp, which would be my mom's comp. then i would then transfer my computer to my room, as my computer room shall be converted into my father's room.

soooo now each family member has their own room.

anywayz, gonna use the new modem, which has a wireless system with it, for everyone to use. yes dat is right, a modem. cost me a mind blowing RM300 for the damn modem wireless router. but hey it is coming in handy now. again and again my mom's comp have problem. i have finally identified the problem. and now im going to rectify it, and make sure it doesnt occur anymore. and also, i have to make sure that when i reformat my current comp the same problem would not occur. well, much things needs to be done. and i am going to settle it for sure.

oohhh and tomoro i have to take care of my car who has a problem with it's wheel bearing or something. gonna cost me my father 200. well its to ensure dat my wheel dont jam up and cause me to be in an accident. anywayz, after that i have to go to low yat to buy myself another harddisk and also change 1 of the wireless lan card as it is faulty.

well i dunno wat else to say. my life is sooooooo dull. and im also a dull person.
sooo until then, love you guys. MUUUAAAACCCCKKKKKKKZZZZZZZ =p

posted by Elwyn at 9:50 PM | 3 comments

Friday, February 03, 2006

A respond

well, it seems dat i have received a respond for my last post. well i hope i didnt offend anyone. maybe bcos things were different for when i grew up. definately different.

i hope no one was offended by it. me for 1 would definately not want another lonely birthday, or a meaningless birthday like i had before.

sooo, i feel dat i needed to voice out my view. i hope none is offended by it.

and sooo .... life goes on with a normal pace. but with an extra dat i must clean up a hell of alot of stuff. really gonna be an overhaul for me. I HOPE !!!!!

sooo see ya guys , and hope all goes well for you guys out there. love you guys.

MUUUUAAACCCCCKKKKKKKZZZZZZZZZZZ =p

posted by Elwyn at 10:32 PM | 2 comments

Thursday, February 02, 2006

CNY no more ....

things are calm and quiet now. aahhhh, things are slowly going back to normal. alot of things to clear up. really alot of things to clear up. haihz. well, at least its quiet, and finally i can sleep back in my bed tonight. after a near long week. sleeping quite uncomfortably.

hahahaha, feeling rather tired and worn out. haihz, nothing much to say except dat life is going to go back to its normal routine. with less and less time before the beginning of the 3rd sem. looks like i have to start my full preparation. including finishing up on the cleaning of my 2 rooms. and yes i didnt get to clean up both my rooms. just got to clean it sufficiently to hold the guest.

well, life is gonna be boring yet again. and of course, me not sure whether do i have a life or not, will live on as how i should live on. as a person who i always been. as for the rest, lets try to see how things goes for me. yeah yeah, wait and see, before taking any action.

after reading a blog, i dont really understand why people dun wan to celebrate their birthday with their friends. it makes me wonder, wats going on. is depression really getting the best of the youths today? i truly wonder, and yet not much action is taken for the this disease. this disease called depression.

i wonder, if the medication is safe ?
or is it exercise dat is needed to prevent from being depressed ?
or is it with the help of a friend or a loved one or family ?

well, i dunno much about depression. maybe i should start a small little research on it. for my own good, and for the good of my friedns who are depressed. maybe i shall do dat.

well, hope you guys have a great time this year. my life is quite undetermined at the moment. i shall see how it goes, and hopefully i play my cards right.

till then, love you guys out there.

MUUUUUUAAAACCCCCCKKKKKKKKKZZZZZZZZ!!!!!! =p

posted by Elwyn at 5:35 PM | 5 comments