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lost dreams

My name is MaS,
and i have yet to grow,
from my adolescent state,
to wat many call as a mature adult,
though i am no longer a teen by age,
thy shall act like a kid,
but only for a certain time,
or risk facing trouble thats shit,
im no longer a kid,
im no longer a teen,
but could i still act as one,
for the fun of it.

Life, is shit, and shit is life, and this is how h eruns his life. Life is unfair and so is he, he harden his soul to create a emotionless spree. He is soo lame he is soo quiet, but that is how he is. He is all vulgar and also disgusting, but he is who he is and not like other. He holds a principle, based on his soul, its always changing with the flow of time. The growth is there but it isn't obvious because the life he's in is so damn troublesome. He may seem all nice, he may seem like a pushover, but never try his limit or you'll face his anger. His life is tough, and he knows others too have it tough, but everyone is different and they should never be compared. Comparison kill his spirit, comparison killed his mind, it is as though it is no more his but rather it is others. He is disturbingly disturbed and sometimes extremely the extreme, but this is rare as its a rare phenomenon. He is nothing but a fool indeed, living thru this life with all he got. His life seems awful, but it is to him alone, he wouldn't understand others as how others wouldn't understand him. Thank you so much for reading this shit, as it means alot for his stuff to be read.


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Wednesday, August 03, 2005

parents .... u luv them ... n u hate them ....

haihz haihz .... dam it ... my father is in my comp room with me .... oohh .. wanna point out dat he n i dun get along very well .... cos we always end up in arguments ..... cos he was born in the year of the monkey .... n i in the year of the tiger .... n it is a bad combination ...... very bad indeed .... haihz .... sadnyer .... when ur parents always expect u to do this ... n dat ... n all those stuff .... achieve this ... achieve dat .... achieve alot of stuff ...... be like this person .... be like dat person ..... be the greatest leader the world have ever seen ..... its like .... they want us to be dam great n powerful n almighty ..... haihz .....

sometimes ..... i just wonder why parents love to compare ..... like my parents .... when my attitude is bad ... or i dun study much .... they would certainly compare me with their fren's children who r far better than i am ..... n not children who r not as good as me ...... n then .... when like .... all the misfortune stuff .... or like the money stuff ..... haihz ... they would compare to those really unfortunate ppl .... n really poor ppl ..... n say this say dat ..... make me feel like ... i cant live to their expectations ..... dam it ..... such a demoralising thing to do ..... seriously .... feel dam terrible lor ..... dun u ????

well ... after awhile .... i just listen with 1 ear ... n let out at the other ear .... stupid stupid .... haihz .... n then ... i always have dinner with them ..... n sadly ..... when ever dinner with them .... they'll give their usual lectures about this n dat ...... oohhh its soo dam annoying ... really ..... i have no choice but to listen .... i cant go against them .... cos whenever i try to stand n prove my point .... i would be said i was dam disrespectful n stuff ..... until i just give up la .... listen to wat they have to say la. .... though i hate them ... i have to love them as well ... they brought me to this world .... so dat i could make a difference in this world .... by my presence alone .... really 1 single presence can change the whole world ..... or actually the lifes of ppl who r affected ..... hahaha .. but it will cause a chain reaction wont it ..... hahahaha .... too much theory already ..... from the book i read last year ..... hahaha

anywayz .... gotta love them ... cos without them ... i wouldnt be here blogging would i ..... i wouldnt be studying ..... i wouldnt be enjoying quite a number of luxuries .... which isnt like luxuries of other ppl have .... really .... haihz .. sad case ..... soo ... i am who i am today ... thx to them ..... n my environment .,.... ahhh ... isnt adt just beautiful ..... well .... have to love them as well ... cos if it wasnt for them ... i would be working instead of studying ..... haihz .... i owe them a great deal la .... yeah yeah .... soo .... u luv them ... n also hate them .... n while u live under the same roof with them .... stand their attitude ....... dats wat i say ....

ooohhh oohhh ..... today today .... wednesday .... hahaha .... i knew wat caused the stupid haze yesterday ..... it was the palm plantation dat was burning ...... didnt read the newspaper .... but ... took a glance of it .... actually ... if it wasnt for the rain early in the morning ... it would stilll definately be hazy .... really .... but ... dun be at ease soo fast ..... the heat will continue for a few days more ... meaning ... the fire might still be going on .... or was it already taken care of ..... sad rite .... well well ..... today was up earlier than usual ... by like wat ... 5 mins .... n yet .... still late to go thru federal highway .... sucky jam .... took me an hour plus just to ge to sunway ..... sakai .... dat is even when i used the emergency lane .... yes i know ... dat is bad .... but i had no choice .... if i were to wait like a bloody fool in the other lane .... i'll be there for 2 hours ..... yeah ... soo taking another way tomoro .... hehehe .... ok ok ..... so the day started ok .... though not many classes .... had long breaks between classes .... omg ... i havent finish a few of my work .... dam it ... sakai .... dunno la .... anywayz .... tutorials started today ... since my 1st tute of the week would be on wed ..... macroecons ... hahaha .. aint dat bad la .... after my last class .. which was macroecons ... went to foyer ..... a whole big group of AUSMAT students were there ..... playing tai di ..... soo i watch the game ..... hahahaha .... after sumtime ... i played tai di .... lost 2 rounds .... but won 1 .... yeah ... fucking lucky dude i am ... hehehehe ...

oohhh this is turning out to be a long post .... quite long la .... considering .... i crap about parents .... haihz .... sad case wan la .... hahahah ... dunno la .... yeah ... im saying im the sad case ... ot my parents ..... my mom is super geng .... really .... my father ... ok ok only la ..... realyl .... n sooo life goes on ..... we must continue to live it rite ....

well ... seems like i got only 1 response about my hair ..... kesian nyer my hair ..... nvm .... but at least got 1 respond .... from joey .... hahaha ..... ok ok ok .... well .... from her comment .... straightening is definately a no no .... n sue lin also back it up ..... n sue lin said she prefer afro compared to straight hair ..... oohhh ... she has seen me in sumwat like an afro hair ..... but my main purpose ... is to either braid ... or .... afro .... or just tie (cheap like by sooooooo many times) ..... hahahahha .... n sooo ... the critic about my hair continues ... s ppl ask me t oget a hair cut .... n seriously ..... my hair is puffy ..... but there isnt any pwer puff girls there ..... sad ... they r cute ... in their own manner .... hehehe ....

alrite ..... now .... for my words of life ..... live life strong .... live life cool .... live life to help ur frens & relatives ..... live life to make a better person out of urself ..... live life to make a difference in the life of another ... n live life beautifully .... to end with a beautiful death .....

posted by Elwyn at 11:00 PM

2 Comments:

  • Oooh, yeah, siblings... my brother... talking to him... worse than talking to a wall.

    Yup, the horoscope thing, it's true, monkey n tiger dun go well. And i had this tuition teacher last time who told me she's closer to the son with the same star sign as her as compared to her other son.

    By Blogger Sue Lin, at Sat Aug 06, 12:53:00 AM  

  • ohh ahh .... hahaha ... thx y'all .... but hey .... just have to live on ....

    By Blogger Elwyn, at Sat Aug 06, 09:42:00 AM  

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