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lost dreams

My name is MaS,
and i have yet to grow,
from my adolescent state,
to wat many call as a mature adult,
though i am no longer a teen by age,
thy shall act like a kid,
but only for a certain time,
or risk facing trouble thats shit,
im no longer a kid,
im no longer a teen,
but could i still act as one,
for the fun of it.

Life, is shit, and shit is life, and this is how h eruns his life. Life is unfair and so is he, he harden his soul to create a emotionless spree. He is soo lame he is soo quiet, but that is how he is. He is all vulgar and also disgusting, but he is who he is and not like other. He holds a principle, based on his soul, its always changing with the flow of time. The growth is there but it isn't obvious because the life he's in is so damn troublesome. He may seem all nice, he may seem like a pushover, but never try his limit or you'll face his anger. His life is tough, and he knows others too have it tough, but everyone is different and they should never be compared. Comparison kill his spirit, comparison killed his mind, it is as though it is no more his but rather it is others. He is disturbingly disturbed and sometimes extremely the extreme, but this is rare as its a rare phenomenon. He is nothing but a fool indeed, living thru this life with all he got. His life seems awful, but it is to him alone, he wouldn't understand others as how others wouldn't understand him. Thank you so much for reading this shit, as it means alot for his stuff to be read.


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Saturday, July 23, 2005

ohhh dam the new sem .... ahh nvm la ...

wazzup ppl .... if u guys do come here n read ..... though i dun think there r many readers anymore ..... its pretty much the usual stuff aint it .... well ..... today is sat ..... n on last thursday .... was 1 pretty hectic day for me ..... kinda woke up abit late .... n then went online for awhile ..... ahhh .. the usual stuff la like i said .... well ... after dat had to take a bath .... style my hair abit .... n then off to the photo shop ..... to take pic for my driving license .... yeah .... its gonna expire soon ..... omg its already 2 years .... geng geng .... hahahaha .... well .... its gonne expire end of this month .... yeap ... 31 july ...... n soo .. with my long hair ... i had to style it abit nicer wont we .... dat license will be with me for like wat .... 5 years .... soo .. better make it look good .... n sooo ... after the photo shop ... i went to the clinic ..... for another check of my blood pressure ... n ... take a hepatitis A + B jab ...... omg ...... stupid man .... when i was injected it doesnt hurt dat bad ..... but it hurts bad after dat ...... muscles in pain ..... must have hit some nerves sumwhere ..... n today is saturday .... n yeah .. today's pain is the worse ..... can help it though .......

alrite ... next .. i went to mc d for my brunch ..... yeah ... i know bad bad .... dun care la ... it will be awhile till i do dat again ... cos uni is starting .... omg ... havent got any books yet ... really low on money ... n soo ... i must save up on buying the books for now .... i wonder if its gonna be a'ok for me this sem ..... dam it ....... ohhhh sorry im running from my story again .... well ... after my brunch ... online for awhile again ... b4 i felt dead tired ..... TIRED ... n not sleepy ..... went to rest for awhile ..... omg .... really dam tired .... then ... my mother came back .... n had to send the cats ..... all 5 cats to the vet .... omg .... n soo ... the 1st round was ..... the 3 girls who had been vaccinated earlier ..... they r ..... el2 .... spotty .... n anja ..... well .... since only had 1 cage ..... anja gets the cage .... cos the other 2 will attack her if she is outside .... soo ... i had to carry the other 2 in the car .... ohhhh .... dam tired ... especially with my arm hurting .... cant be helped though ..... n sooo ... they were vaccinated .... n off we left .... then ... said we will bring the other 2 who was sick ..... soo .. rushed back home .... n got the other 2 ..... which r .... iny .... n tinko ..... n again .,.... only 1 could stay in the cage ..... n decided it was iny ... since she is very active wan ... n she is the hardest to be carried ... cos she hates to be carried .... n we rushed over the the vet .... n checked the gums .... well ... still infected .... sooo ... they got injected .. n given sum med to put on the gums ..... n then ... later talked to another vet .... she said ... continue the medthey were taking .... n soo .... had to rush n pay for it ....... oohhh this is where the another problem arised .....

sooo .. after paying for the medicine ... we went back home ..... as soon as we got back home .... all the cats r set free ..... n i went about to my usual thing ... my comp .... n then .... my mother screamed at me .... "where is the medicine" .... talking about the medicine bought after the jab .... n so ... a battle of words began

my mom : i gave u the medicine wat, where did u left it ?

me : wat medicine, u never gave me the medicine also, u were the 1 holding it.

my mom : i gave u a box for u to go up n pay, cos the doctor gave me the box, i give it to u so dat u can give it to the cashier upstairs n so dat u can pay

me : wat box, u never gave me any box, u only gave me a piece of paper which says the name of the medicine.

my mom : no i remember giving it to u, where did u put the medicine. did u left it at the cashier?

me : u didnt even give me the medicine at all. u didnt give me any box to carry. only the paper.

n then my mom when searching around ... her handbag n stuff .....

my mom : see its not here with me in my hand bag. how could u left the medicine.

me : U NEVER GAVE IT TO ME IN THE 1ST PLACE. how was i to know dat i had to carry the medicine.

my mom : now u go back to the vet n check whether u left it at the cashier.

me : ok la ..........

went off .... feeling quite pissed at her ... blaming me like dat .... when i really remembered dat i didnt hold any box ... which contained the box .... sped off really fast .. n drive as fast s i could .... cos the vet was closing u see ..... haihz dam, angry .... simply drive there ..... dun care man .... just simply hit red light .... n all those la .... cant be bothered ... n then reached there ..... n guess where i found the med .... its at the clinic place ..... ok ok .... let me explain how this building is 1st since i have made u guys blur blur ..... 1st of all .. the clinic for the pets r located on the 1st floor ... cos this is a government building ... its the government animal hospital .... n soo .. the cashier is located on the 2nd floor .... ok .... the 1st floor is like the ground floor ... n the 2nd floor is 1 floor above ..... n soo ... luckily i saw 1 of the doctors who recognised me ... n she just passed to me the med .... n then i smsed my mother ... dat she left the med at the clinic area there .... later when i reached home .... there was a cold tension .... seeing dat it was her mistake ... she didnt say anything ......

n soo i went about doing my things ...... n soo .. i would like to conclude my thursday .. cos the rest of it is boring .... u know y .... well went to pasar malam alone .... n then bought dinner for my parents n myself .... n then ... had to rush n work on my father's laptop dat was dying .... stupid machine .... n then ... slept late cos had to fix the dam dying machine .....

alrite .... moving onto the next day .... i woke up at 6.15 .... mind u i slept at 1.15 earlier .... soo was kinda tired ..... hey ..... i gotta push myself anywayz cos gotta go to sunway as fast as possible .... n soo .... went by federal .... jam as usual ..... n i had fetch a passenger as well .... she was nicely sleeping ... the whole way thru ... sooo nice eh .... cant be helped ... its her .... then reached sunway .... again she still wanted to sleep ..... n i wanted to go about doing my stuff .... n soo ... i moved on ... leaving her in the car ... telling her ... to lock the car ... went to get my timetable .... n then try to allocate my timetable as nice as i could ..... later went for breakfast while she slept .... sleepyhead she is .... n then ... i went to the mph to register for my tutes ..... dam it ... i shud have stayed with amirul n the rest .... dats me going solo .... hahahaa .... wat a joke .... anywayz .... got a lousy timetable in the end ..... n then .... just lepak around SUC ..... just sit there .. n stone .... dats the only thing i can do .... cos ... as always .... i deemed myself anti social ..... cant get to talk to those ppl ..... kinda rude right to interrupt ppl while they r talking ... soo .. just listened .... n do nuts ..... same thing ... always feeling left out ... dats how i felt on friday .... with .... amirul .... isabel .... amir .... fendi .... n then came carina .... ohhh b4 carina there was pei lin ... soo .... its kinda boring u see ...... as i would be expecting this coming sem .... since i dun have any single class with them ...... ohhh ... im sooo gonna die in my future ..... ba social life = failure in life ..... yeap ... dats how i see things .... nvm la ..... cos this is how i am ..... have to accept it ..... different from the AUSMAT year ..... dat year i went all out .... but now ..... cant do dat anymore ..... dun feel the strength anymore .... sadly .. dats how i am ...... hahahaha ....

all right ..... after dat ... in the evening ... oohh yeah ... was lepaking cos had to wait for sumone .... b4 going to pyramid for dinner ..... n then ... went back home ..... just b4 reaching home .... got a msg saying ... yam cha cancelled ..... bloody hell .... last minute .... nvm ... went to a fren's house ... for sum games .... later after i washed up la .... hahaha .. reached back home around 1.15-1.20 in the morning .... came online did sum stuff ... chat with sue lin ... n then slept at 2.30 ....
hahaha ..... 20 hours plus being awake .... is really torturing ....

anywayz ... nothing much about sat ... except dat i woke up at 10.30 ...... ok .. dats 8 hours of sleep ...... but i woke up to a terrible pain in my arm ..... still fucking pain from the jab ..... the last jab .... the pain lasted like wat .... 1-2 weeks ... stupid shit ......

ok ok ... soo .. i guess dats about it ..... this is how "interesting" my life is .... hahaha .. the usual la .....

posted by Elwyn at 12:34 AM

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