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lost dreams

My name is MaS,
and i have yet to grow,
from my adolescent state,
to wat many call as a mature adult,
though i am no longer a teen by age,
thy shall act like a kid,
but only for a certain time,
or risk facing trouble thats shit,
im no longer a kid,
im no longer a teen,
but could i still act as one,
for the fun of it.

Life, is shit, and shit is life, and this is how h eruns his life. Life is unfair and so is he, he harden his soul to create a emotionless spree. He is soo lame he is soo quiet, but that is how he is. He is all vulgar and also disgusting, but he is who he is and not like other. He holds a principle, based on his soul, its always changing with the flow of time. The growth is there but it isn't obvious because the life he's in is so damn troublesome. He may seem all nice, he may seem like a pushover, but never try his limit or you'll face his anger. His life is tough, and he knows others too have it tough, but everyone is different and they should never be compared. Comparison kill his spirit, comparison killed his mind, it is as though it is no more his but rather it is others. He is disturbingly disturbed and sometimes extremely the extreme, but this is rare as its a rare phenomenon. He is nothing but a fool indeed, living thru this life with all he got. His life seems awful, but it is to him alone, he wouldn't understand others as how others wouldn't understand him. Thank you so much for reading this shit, as it means alot for his stuff to be read.


taggy board


posts that had passed

the past of this blogger

credits


Wednesday, November 30, 2005

Money! Money! Money!

life goes around money. you don't have money, you wont survive long in this world. because without money, you cant buy food,provide shelter over your head and soooo many other stuff. but this time we are not gonna talk about necessities but more of wants.

wat's the difference between the 2. well economic students would know it well. or maybe in lay man terms. necessities are needs that is required to survive, and thats why, handphones are still in the debate of being a necessity. hehehehe, wants on the other hand is something that a person wants to satisfy his own desires, maybe such as a camera phone, super expensive clothes, sports car, stuff like that.

well, since i am talking about money, let me tell you guys how much i have wasted my money. its really heart sick as to how i could have lost soooo much money. really heart sick. to lose that amount of money. it really really hits me right in the heart, and it is especially deep. extremely painful wei. arrggghhhh, that amount of mone ycould have bought me at least 3-4 very nice sneakers. seriously, i was heart broken to lose that much money for something sooo simple. really fucked up wei. dam sakai wei. damn it, i hate that moment. well well, its sucks being me that time. a real damn sucker.

haihz ... i dont really want to expose as to how much i lost there, and on what i lose it on. because it is damn embaressing wei. well, of course, i went shopping for my annual stuff from the Gempak Starz Komik Karnival. Hehehehehehehehehe, got 5 t-shirts for 90. great no, of course it is great. would have bought more, but the designs on those t-shirts weren't as nice, and i don't think i should buy those t-shirts cos it was certainly gonna be a waste if i did. well, that would mean that i have an addition of 5 t-shirts to my existing 50+ t-shirts nad shirts. alot for me i think. well it was nice couldnt help buying them. and of course i invested my money in my favourite items which was, my graphic novels. argghhh .... finally .... my collection of Malaysian artists is growing. But this if course has given a rise in a new problem. WHERE THE HELL CAN I STORE THEM !!!!!

well, i still havent gotten around to clening my room to the fullest extend. argghhh ... nvm that. moving on to the next money mater would be, my tires. i got myself 4 brand new tires. Why le. This is because , my rear left tire blew, and i had to change to the spare tire luckily not at the side of the road, but at a petrol station. safe from those hap hazard drivers who might have hit me, and most probably run. seriously tiring. but luckily, i have helped someone changed their flat tire. Ehhhhh, after i had given a thought about it, the tire that i changed earlier, for my friend or i would say my junior was the same side, the rear left tire that blew. Wow, was it such a coincidence ??? i wonder ... hahahaha well, anywayz back to the story. i went to the tire shop to check on the tires. and change the blown tire for a new tire. but the worker, and even the boss said that the other 3 tires were cracking, and has a risk of blowing up as well.

Ohhhh my mother came in the nick of time, talked to them. and agreed to change 4 new tires. which would most probably last longer. i hope. and i have to remember to send my car for balancing and allignment at the end of february to ensure my tires would have a longer life span*. hehehehe, woi the tires were costly wei. damn it, RM820 for all of them. all four of them la. and then i also had asked them to inflate it with nitrogen gas. heard it from simon that it is much better. it cost RM5 per tire to inflate it with nitrogen gas. well well thats pretty much all i have to say about money.

money is really necessary to live. wihtout it. your as good as dead. damn the world for running around money. maybe it is just how it is suppose to be.

well, of course the tires were fully paid by my mother. lucky me. haihz. but im still lacking of money. really need the money. i need money. this is because i have several wants. suchs as shopping for pants, shirts, 1 new jeans, and a few shoes or maybe sneakers. I also want a CAMERA!!!, and a new HANDPHONE!!! Sooo to fit this criteria, I WANT THE SONY ERICSSON K750I !!!!! its both a camera and a phone. superb quality camera some more. hehehhe, but of course the price of the original won't budge and remains at a all high RM1,800. cibai or not, of course la, since the AP=underwater is not at the price of RM1,370 which was last week i asked. maybe abit later some more, i can get it for only RM1,300 ?? hopefully yes. But it would be a great set back for me as the money i have now has to last till the end of february, which i would consider isn't much unless i stay at home and always eat mamak food everyday. and maybe skipping breakfast la.

That is why i need WORK which would pay enuf for me to gain a profit other than covering the cost of working, or maybe just MONEY. MONEY, MONEY, why won't you drop from the sky and rain upon me. wahh. that would certainly be a dream that would never come true. haihz, nvm la. my chances for work also tak jadi because of some complications. wahhhh. nvm nvm. just have to save as much as i can for the moment.

arrgghhh .. .well ... dats all for now .... hehehe .... thx to Miss Jess and Miss Joey .... ehh .. both got their names starting withthe letter J and ... let me check .... yeah yeah ... they r both pisces .... geng le .... well ... thx to both of u ....

sorry for the last post .... wasnt feeling dat great ..... dun care much anymore .... hahahaha ..... see ya again blog ....

posted by Elwyn at 1:17 PM | 9 comments

Monday, November 28, 2005

Why the hell am I doing this for !?!?!

I've been seriously thinking about quite alot of things. and seriously there are alot of things dat r bothering me. am i at the edge of my limit? i dunno anything anymore. life is sure life. life is tough. and of course life makes us learn the hard way. but even ppl has their limits. the limit b4 they break up. im pretty much guessing that i'm at my limit. but i know there is nothing much dat i can do.

seriously. y the hell am i blogging anywayz. its not like i have much readers anywayz. neither does most of them bother to provide a feedback. so y the hell am i doing this. im pretty much at the limit. im not strong. at all. life has been killing me. its just really awful. but hey, at 1 point we r bound to meet our death. soo maybe dat is the way.

i dunno much anymore. neither do i really wanna bother about wat others really think anymore. cos i dun belong here. neither do i belong with them. its not them. its just plain old me. most of u would have probably heard me said this alot of time in many of my past post. now i am saying it 1 more time. it is because i just dun fit in. dunno, i really dunno.

im totally useless. n im also a burden. as how i was told. but who bothers. well i do, abit i guess. i really just feel dat.its pointless to continue. to continue on. with watever la. im just clueless. totally utterly useless.

but hey, just wanna say. thx for reading all this while. i know its pointless for to write anymore on this blog. its just pointless.

im bound to have troubles with my physical health. as it seems to be deteriorating. but i couldnt be bothered. might as well achieve the dream dat persist in my life.

and since im a nobody. dat dream wont affect dat many ppl. dun worry ppl. my shallowness may now arise anymore.

im just not me anymore. i think, its better for a burden like me to be gone rite. well, im my opinion. a burden shud be taken care of. n i would most probably know the way.

my mind is in chaos. my heart is maybe giving way. i dun have good english. n my attitude is pretty muc unacceptable. soo yeah ... this is the end

posted by Elwyn at 1:59 AM | 8 comments

Friday, November 25, 2005

disgrace or spite of anger of malaysia

hahaha, i wasnt really updated with the current news until today when i read about the naked chinese lady doing ear squats in front of a Malaysian female police. This is horrible at the 1st instance after reading the news. But after awhile, i came to my senses. Could this just be a ploy by someone who has has the intention of creating a nation wide spread of hatred, and racism. But many would know how sick n demented those police are. But I am lucky enough not to be in their presence at all. Lucky me i guess.

Ooohhh well, what can we do about this anywayz. Well the link to the video which i found from "She's Jess" blog has been rather helpful to me. Unfortunately she doesn't have the link to her blog thingy but i have linked her anywayz.

But is this video clip a valid 1 ?

Could it be a fake ?

Could it be staged ?

Why is there a background sound of Muslim prayers nearby ?

How did the camera guy got away with taking the video clip of this ?

Could it be an inside job by the police themselves ?

There are tooo many variables involved. But 1 thing is for sure. Malaysia has its name tainted once again. Why is this happening. Only good thing about Malaysia would be the fantastic food. That is all i have to compliment now. Dun wanna say much or else i'll get banged for this. Its not like this bog of mine really gets any major hits anywayz.

But this incident has also certainly stirred great anger in the majority of people. Ooohhh, how shall this end out. I know this 1. This news will die down in the end without much action taken, unless, super major powers or majors critics from outside the country comes into play.

I know everyone is angry, but think for a moment. There are too many variables, that are unclear. But 1 thing is for sure, the police has their name tainted once again. Sadly, this will not be the end of the tainting of the name, more is to come from them.

Hahahaha, well, that is all i have to say, but wait, this is the place where u can watch the video clip. It is called Malaysia TV. Enjoy it

posted by Elwyn at 12:25 PM | 1 comments

Wednesday, November 23, 2005

Creep

When you were here before,
Couldn't look you in the eye,
Just like an angel,
Your skin makes me cry,
Float like a feather,
In a beautiful world,
I wish i was special,
You're so very special.

And i'm a creep,
I'm a weirdo,
What the hell am I doing here,
I don't belong here.

I Don't care if it hurts,
I wanna have control,
I want a perfect body,
I want a perfect soul,
I want you to notice, when i'm not around,
You're so very special,
I wish i was special.

But i'm a creep,
I'm a weirdo,
What the hell am i doing here,
Well I don't belong here.

Woahh woahhh,

She's running out again,
Oh she's running out,
She run run run ruuuuunnnnnnn, ruuuuuuuuunnnnn.

Whatever makes you happy,
Whatever you want,
You're so very special,
I wish I was special.

But I'm a creep,
I'm a weirdo,
What the hell am I doing here,
I dont belong here,
i dont belong here.

I have grown pretty attached to this song. It is creep by radio head. I'm listening to the Acoustic version. Super attached to it. its playing on my comp non-stop on my comp and even as i blog. It is looping on my comp, without end. Why i have grown soooo attached to this song. Well it is because i was so stuck on the tune. Then slowly i listened to the lyrics. And from there i grown highly attached to it.

This is because i feel that, i am like how the lyric says. I don't belong here. I don't really bel0ng anywhere. Do I ??? I still wonder till this day and age. More and more Depressing moments in my life. Sometimes, I just can't really take the pressure. But its ok. Someway or another, I guess i really Don't belong here.

Ahh I'm still waiting for the reply from the job recruiter. I might not land the job after all. And thanks you guys for telling me about the Resume. I pretty much contacted my aunt and she passed to me a few resumes for me to look up. Well, i did a very basic version of it. Maybe it is that reason why I don't think i would get the job.

Well I'm screwing myself emotionally. Can't help myself. I'm .... I'm on the verge of breaking. Only thing keeping me saint is my comp and the few friends who still help support me and advice me. But not forgetting Sue, who has been there for me for my down times. But still, I'm screwing myself really alot lately. Bad indeed.

Time to stop it. Now need to ... eat lunch. Havent had lunch yet. and it is already 3.30 ... in the afternoon. So yeah, let me get my pizza that is in the fridge.And eat that.

posted by Elwyn at 3:12 PM | 0 comments

Tuesday, November 22, 2005

Normal Life ???

I'm not really sure but it seems that life seems to be going on like normal, except for 1 small tiny exception, my mother will not prepare food for my father anymore. Well, i say i dont really wanna bother about it anymore. But im still wondering as to whether is it safe for me to spend my money? I am still pretty sceptical about it. Well, it is better safe than sorry right. Hahahaha, life is just normal, actually worse than normal. I'm practically rotting at home at the moment. Seriously i need to find work.

Talking about work, I was given a number where i could find work. And i'm writing this after i just called in. As it seems, i need to drop in a resume for this temporary work. OMG !!!! A resume, how to write 1 I also dont really know. DAMN IT !!! Some one help me, but i doubt any help would come by. Since not many would come and help comment and stuff. But guys i really need your help. If you want some discretion, please at least drop me a friendster message, an email, or even sms me. I would seriously appreciate it if you could help me in the resume.

But this is my main priority. Or else I'll be rotting my butt at home for the next 2 months. Unless i can find another job. I seriously need the money. Though i dun really need the work. But hey, you work to get money. This is cold hard facts arent they. Well, gotta start on quite a few stuff now. So yeah, gonna try to make myself busy busy.

posted by Elwyn at 12:07 PM | 2 comments

Sunday, November 20, 2005

Messy life

I am sorry if i caused quite a disturbance on my blog earlier on. This is due to the fact that there were alot of things happening in my life at the moment (alot as in those that really overpowers me). I was seriously thinking about quitting blogging, and stop this blog all together. But after my stubbornness with my habit of blogging and of course spending time on the computer. I decided to revive this blog of mine. Yes it is FINALLY REVIVED, after the long exam ordeal which i have to say i undergone such extreme stress the night before my final paper. Now I shall continue on with this blog, and as you can see there are quite a number of changes on this blog of mine. I shall refine this changes till it is nice and then i am off to leave it like that. Don't worry about at the moment, because the events in my life at the moment isn't as serious as it seems at the moment. And please to all of my readers/blogders, please your name at least somewhere to mark yourself as a reader/blogder. Because there shall be major changes that i might need to inform you about. Soooo please please i beg you to mark your name somewhere in this blog or at other blogs whom you might think appropriate.

please be reminded that i may take awhile to blog again as there are several things that i have to do, for the future events that might occur in my life. I can't really reveal much here now, because my blog is under the supervision of my father/parent/mother ......

Sooo please be patient with me. I know this would not be something you guys might have but please, bare with me for the moment. And to my dear loyalist loyal readers, please await for my reply at your blogs. I shall be tagging it or commenting on it. I'll inform you from there.

And to those who may not want to leave their mark here on my blog, you can email me or maybe even send me a friendster msg.

Sooo people, thank you for coming by this blog of mine.

posted by Elwyn at 6:36 PM | 0 comments

Saturday, November 19, 2005

life is a bitch

sorry guys ..... i dun think i shall be doing much more stuff on this blog of mine ..... im not sure now .... some things has come up ..... sooo ... im sorry to say this blog may not be updated ..... but i was planning to start up other blogs ..... but im m uncertain ..... sorry to say ..... i dun really know wat to do anymore ..... sorry guys ... im really sorry .....

posted by Elwyn at 10:39 AM | 4 comments

Thursday, November 17, 2005

me suck ... but of course me still suck

hahahaha .... like i wanna talk much here .... hahahaha ..... of course the title is just a ploy. but i still suck .... hahahaha .... anywayz .... alot of ppl's birthday today ... which is the 17th of nov ..... im surprised actually ... sooooooooooooo many .... not dat many as in the whole world .... but quite a number of ppl i know la ... .hahahah .....

anywayz ..... i just feel bored n just wanna say this cibai kia really is sick ..... mentally sick .... really .... hahaha .... well ... dun worry .... this cibai kia got something up his sleeves ...... but cibai kia not wearing long sleeves today .... so where got sleeves ...... really stupid la this cibai kia .... nvm .... this cibai kia willl continue on being the dumb cibai kia he is ...... dun worry .... cibai kia knows his place .... dun worry .... nothing bad will come out of this ..... dats for sure ....

alright ... dats about it .... cibai kia wanna sleep now .... soo cibai kia MaS waving all .... have a nice day ....

posted by Elwyn at 12:26 AM | 0 comments

Sunday, November 13, 2005

wats wrong with my blog ????

well well, it seems dat i have a problem with my dam blog ..... if u would have realized ... the bottom most part seems to have been bugged or something ... i dun understand y ... but i'll go through the codes after the exams ..... cos i really need to study for monday n friday ... n im a home free man ...... hahaha dat would certainly be good .....

well dats all for now .... soo until then ... see ya guys later ....

posted by Elwyn at 1:07 AM | 0 comments

Saturday, November 12, 2005

Neal's birthday (Part 2)

hahaha, well this is the 2nd part of the pics that i would like to post, it was suppose to come out yesterday but got kinda caught up with some stuff .... which is dota again ... hahahaha .... well well, as the title would say for itself, this is a continuation of the last post .... n of course like i said b4, the pics r not in the sequence of the time it was taken .... it is random ..... hahahaha, in this 2nd post u would realize, dat there will be some ppl missing in the pic ... wat happen to them ... im not sure at all .... sooo dun ask me ya ... hahahaha ok ok ..... y not we move on to the pics below .... acutally i had alot to say but i kinda forgotten wat i wanted to say .... really .... sad case i am .....



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wat r they looking at ??? i kinda forgot wat they were looking at .... but if my memory serves me right .... they were looking at the 2 profesional chefs cooking the lamb .... which was ...... mr neal n mr fendi .... hahahaha ..... seriously, im guessing dat those ppl in the pic cant wait to get their hands on those pieces of lamb .... hahahaha look at how they stare with anticipation .... muahahahahaha ..... cos it took kinda long time to cook the lamb .....



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alright, this pic wasnt really a candid pic like many of the others as they saw me holding the camera .. soo some of them had posed abit like pragash here ..... look how much of a poser he is ..... must be thinking he is chad micheal murray ..... guys out there ... is he still fantasizing about being chad micheal murray ???? well im not too sure already .... seriously .... hhahaha but i guess i took tracy off guard .... hahaha .... tracy tracy ... if u r reading this .... dun worry ... i'll pass u the cd for the pics ..... just have to wait awhile ... alright .... i'll burn it ASAP ....



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looky here ..... hahahaha .... this is the part where chef amirul n his assistant carina is working on the chicken .... hahahahah ..... the "CarMirul" chicken delight .... muahahaha ..... but look at the person beside them .... chai hoong .... keep on staring at the chicken drumstick she longs for ..... must be dam hungry la this girl .... look .... stare n stare .... only time she didnt stare was the time when she replied her bf's msg .... during this post ... he shud already be back in m'sia ... hahaha .... edwin .... im sure u r happy to be back right .... if u r reading this la of course .... dunno who has been coming to my blog also la .... alright moving on



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if u carefully in this picture ..... u would see a hungry ghost ...... do u see it ??? hahahaha ..... well ... this is the conclusion dat i got from this pic alright .... the rest r not eating .... n only tracy is struggling with herfood on her plate .... hahaha ..... isnt dat fantastic ..... well ... if u see properly as well ..... u would see .... the stoner amir moving into the kungfu stance .... look at his hands ..... doesnt it remind u of the i forgot wat stnace already .... was it the stork stance ??? or the crane /??? or the monkey ??? hahaha ... dunno .... i really dunno .... hahahaha .... but pragash would certainly looked like he is high on his ciggy ... hahahaha ....



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hahahaha ...... yes yes yes .... u guessed it ..... the couple eating chicken together .... hahaha ... its plainly obvious right .... hahahaha ....well ..... if im not mistaken .... it was neal who got the 1st chicken ...... soo .... was dat the reason why he was looking at amirul n carina cooked the chicken in the earlier post ???? i wonder .... hahahaha ....



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look look ... chicken being grillied on the barbeque set ...... n look look ... how much chai hoong stared at the chicken while holding on to her plate sooooo dearly .... hahahaha .... the rest r just plainly chilling on neal's deck ... dam nice chilling place u know .... hahahaha .....



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hahahah this time ... only 1 person realize dat i was going to take a pic ... n posed .... muahahaha ..... of course the rest was caught unaware ..... hehehehe ..... i like taking candid shots ..... more natural looking .... i like dat better ..... u know .... hehehhehehe ..... i dunno wat i tracy doing u know ... her pose .... looks ....... i dunno .... u figure it urself ok ... hahaha ...



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muahahaha .... this is the pic i have been looking for .... yeah yeah ... this is the pic of the uncooked chicken .... n the burnt cooked chicken ..... hahahaha .... good looking isnt it .... its no chicken little ... but more of ..... bird flu be gone ....



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this is the meeting of the ...... girls with boyfriend club ..... ok ok ... im just kidding la wei .... seriously ... think about it ..... hehehe ... well i caught them chatting here .... while the guys .... were pretty much setting up the stuff .... hahaha ... ok la ... they did help out abit .... but i dun remember .... where .... hahaha ....



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hehehehe ..... the poser couple .... of course .... it is his birthday right .... have to take a pic of them right .... must wan ... hehehe ... look at how happy they r ..... hehehehe .....



alright dat is pretty much all of the pics available ..... hahaha ... u guys must be wondering y im not in the pic .... yeah man .... y .... cos i dun wan to .... just a plain n easy answer .... feel like i dun deserve to be in the pic ..... even if i was in the pic .... i would censor off my face .... just feel .... hahaha ... dun wanna explain it la ..... but i would like to thank fendi ... for offering to take a pic of me ..... i know u r sincere in helping me take some pics of me with the rest ... but i find it .... not necessary .... plz dun get mad though ..... hahahahaha


like i said b4 .... the commentaries in my blog is for entertainment purposes ... i hope ppl read it till the end .... of course ... anything u dun like or wan to object .... inform me .... n i will do moderation ..... alright ppl .... sooo .. till next time ... tune in to "life of MaS" ......

posted by Elwyn at 12:32 PM | 1 comments

Friday, November 11, 2005

Neal's birthday (Part 1)

Wazzup ppl, hows everyone ?? well, this time i am not using words but instead i am blogging at photobucket to get this pics out. this isnt all the pics there are still about 12 more pics to go, but i cant load all of them in here just yet. sooo wait for awhile for the rest of the pics to be uploaded. hahhaha, but seriously this isnt all the pics i got, nyahahaha. well, u might be asking, wat pics am i talking about. well i am talking about neal's birthday party pics, which was held a day earlier than his birthday, and also in the afternoon. hahahaha, it was a barbeque party, but it had some wicked spaghetti sauce, courtesy of Neal's mom. superb sauce i tell u. well, the barbeque began quite late, soo many of us were starving, luckily there was the spaghetti, but there wasnt enuf spaghetti to go around for everyone, so ppl had to share their spaghetti, but the spaghetti sauce was plentiful, it was too nice to give up. soo after ppl had eaten the spaghetti, there were quite a fair bit of the sauce left, soooo pragash n i went n whack the remaining sauce. he put dam alot of cheese onto his sauce, mine i just ate it just like dat. Neal, if u r reading this, i really would like to get the recipe for that spaghetti sauce. to make my spaghetti sauce taste better. muahahahahhaa .... well lets go through the pics alright. oohhhh by the way, the pics r not in the order of the time sequence, as the pics r rather messed around. sorry about it guys.



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hahahaha , we have here is mr fendi, or better known as gucci (he says so himself) but know as non-gucci (by others like pragash). hahahahah boy is he enjoying his lamb, which he himself cooked for everyone. superb taste he says, yet i couldnt get the meat out of 1 lamb dat i had chosen. sadness for me, as i couldnt enjoy the lamb as they did.



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hahahaha. i had to take this pic of fendi posing, n with the angle that the barbeque grill was in the backdrop, excellent, and if u guys realized, there was 1 more piece of lamb left on the grill. meaning fendi's task of cooking the lamb was pretty much over, and he himself could eat his own cooked lamb. hahahaha .... he sure is a poser in this pic .... though his face is abit dark ... sorry about dat.



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hahahaha, these here are the lambs dat r being cooked by the professional chefs, dat is mr fendi gucci or non-gucci to whichever is ur liking, n mr neal, the birthday boy, hahaha, they cooked the food pretty well (except for dat 1 pieceof lamb i got which was hard to chew, and to tear off the meat). look at those lambs .... they are pretty uncooked in this pic right. hahahaha, some way or another, they cooked it good enough for the rest to eat it.



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here are the chefs in action, mr neal n the gucci or non-gucci fendi. hahahaha .... they r doing pretty well arent they. hahaha i am pretty much having a writers block to write a quote about them .... sooo just stare at those tasty looking lamb then ...



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look at this girl, wow, look at her hold on to the plate and her phone soooo dearly, hahahaha, guess wat she is doing then. well she is pretty much waiting for a drumstick. noooo its not the wall's drumstick ice cream, but it is the chicken drumstick which took quite some time to cook. hahaha, she was soooo busy waiting, she had to msg her bf who is coming back pretty soon. i wonder if she reads my blog ... well i'll never know would i .... hahahaha



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look at those chickens, dat i being grilled/barbeque/burnt to death by amirul and carina. hahahaha, yes they are the chef for the chicken, and bcos they feared bird flu, they pretty much made sure the chicken was cooked very well. thus the burnis definate, as the flame was red, n its most definately not flaming hot nandos chicken, its the 'CarMirul' chicken delight. hahahahahha, dam sick la me, to say such things, but forgive me if i do offend u guys. hehehe, nice chicken actually, really, but ppl prefered the drumstick which was taking much longer to cook than its relatives the chicken wings...



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i wonder wat is with the grin on his face, amirul, is there something wrong with the chicken ? or did u ad something we didnt know ??? or maybe u just enjoyed cooking the chicken on the grill ??? oohhhh chef neal was pretty much looking over the chicken, making sure things are going well, in case of any mishaps dat might occur. hahaha luckily the chicken dat was cooked was edible (seriously the chicken tasted quite ok despite the burns, must be the sauce it was marinated in). hehehehe look at the amount of chicken dat was being cooked ..... seriously ppl had finished it.



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omg, scary wei, look at her... her face looks like she is ready to eat u up like dat. with 1 of her eye being covered, she is 1 scary girl, or shud i say guy, since she sounded pretty much like a guy. hahahaha, btw, i didnt really see wat i was taking, cos i was holding the camera quite far from me, just simply aim n take pic .... hehehe .... well to sum it all up this pic is scary ...



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the cooking is here .... look at those chickens .... r those chickens bird flu free ???? i dun care ... i like to eat chicken .... just eat it like normal i say ... hahahaa



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a stoner ..... around a year ago i had his pic as well .... also a stoning pic .... soo ..... to sum it all up .... this guy is a freaking dota stoner .... ohhh .. i forgot to introduce him ... he is stoner amir .... hahahaha ....



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pragash my man .... dam good bugger .... resting after cooking the spaghetti i see .... hahaha .... guess u have alot of experience from the naked chef dun u .... =P



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yam seng .... muahahaha ..... a toast to frenship ..... did we toast ???? no we didnt .... i guess .... hahahaha ... dun care .... shud be ok gua .... everyone is enjoying neal's spiked drink of ....... the recipe is a secret .... muahahaha .... but ppl who has tasted got high n mighty .... muahahaha .... so did i .... dats y im writing nonsense here .... im really bad at bullshitting u know .... soo this kinda crap comes out .... hahahahaha



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pragash for more ???? he is really into dat spiked drink ..... wat is it .... i wonder .... muaahhaha ..... neal n i knows .... do u know ???



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from this picture .... the impression i get is dat ....

carina's thoughts : omg, wat is in his mind(amirul) (while scrathing head as u can see), could it be he is horny ??? or does he just wans to shit ???

amirul's thoughts : oohhh i feel like shitting, wait, am i horny now ?? (well dat is the best i can come up with ok) ...

pragash's thoughts : hahaha, that face reminds me dat i have to shit too .... (hahaha i know i am going out of hand here .... soo help me)

amir's thoughts : ..... HUH!?!?!? wats going on ??? dunno, just smoke n smile just smoke n smile (from Madagascar, the penguins just wave n smile), oohhhhh oohhhhh my hands r itching to dota wei, when can i go when!?!?!?

(this is a short disclaimer, this is the impression i got from the pic, sooo dun come n whack me for all those words, those words r for entertainment purposes)

(seriously those r jokes, if u find it offensive come to me, i'll moderate it)



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oohhhh the flow of guys chat .... i cant really remember wat they were chatting about, but once in awhile i get to hear them talk about cars or stuff .... hahahaha .... well ... its good to know dat they can talk alot sooo well right...



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hahaha .... i wanna do another impression i got for this pic ..... let s go for it ...

pragash's thoughts : ....... (silence) ....... when can i be famous like chad micheal murray (is dat how u spell his name??) ??? nvm dat ... let me dream me being him ....

tracy's thoughts : y y y y y ???? y is this lamb soooo tough ... even the mighty fork n spoon couldnt tear it apart ... wats wrong with this lamb ..... nvm let me whack it more with the mighty utensils ..... muahahahaha

chai hoong's thoughts : eeee goldfish look goldfish look ... hehehe



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hahahaha ... it seems dat in this pic ... carina seems rather interested in amiruls plate or maybe fingers which is laced with ....... barbeque sauce ... hahaha .... or maybe his mighty PHD .... hahahahaha ..... amirul must be thinking, this food is good ..... hahahaha .... n im hungry ... let me eat ....



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oohhhh the black n white .... both in white .... hahahah .... the 2 things dat they share in commen would be their t-shirt colour .... n their intention of smoking n dota .... hahahahaha .....



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look at dat bored face ...... unfortunately, this is prove of my extremely unskillful photography .... bad bad .... but it is dam white alright ...... but she really looks dam bored in here ..... sad hor ... dun worry .... listen only lor to ppl talk right or not ???



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the bones leftovers .... hahahaha ..... truly a sight causes cats n dogs alike to come for food ..... hey carina u can also invite ur cat family as well .... im sure they will like it .... hehehe ... n maybe u too will like it ..... chew it down to the bone alright ... hahahahaha ..... alright ... the next round i shalll continue with the pics .... n to the ppl who came for the mid afternoon party .... now i shall sleep ... n rest ... for a day of studying .... ITM ... dat is marketing ... hehehe

posted by Elwyn at 2:27 AM | 0 comments

Monday, November 07, 2005

Creeping behind to scare the shit out of you !!!

Lazy, lazy, lazy. That is how I am, typical me. A part of me that I find hard to redefine. Well, it is pretty much the truth right. pretty late you knowHahahaha, I actually wanted to blog yesterday, but due to some other things to do, I had to forgo the time to blog to do those other things. Soooo, to make up for it, I am blogging tonight. Hehehehe, as many of you might know, I had just undergone the battle of MAP (Macroeconomic Principles) which I find rather hard. Well of course it is hard for a number of reason;

1. that is that I started studying .
2. my memory is pretty bad at remembering stuff.
3. I don't think there is a 3, hahaha my mistake.

Well of course I would like to apologize for the lack of new post, of course you would know that this is due to the exams I am undergoing, and I had to make several changes in my blog. This few changes will be rectified later, if you are smart enough you would be able to see what changes I made. Of course to all my blogders, welcome welcome, this would also include my father. Heyya, 'dy' enjoy reading my stuff ok, if you are willing to follow my updates. Hahahaha, yes you other blogders of mine, you heard it correct, my father now reads my blog.

Well, well this caused quite a distressed over my mind, as I didn't really want my family to read my shit. The thought of changing the address of my blog. But after much consideration, I feel that I shouldn't do that. Well if my father wants to read my blog so be it. Another extra blogder on my blog. Hahahaha, I'm sorry, I accidentally terpesong from the main thing that I was talking about, my exam.

Well, well, my MAP wasn't too bad I guess, if I did answer the questions correctly. Really, I hope I answer what they wanted. But as many had complained, there wasn't enough time for me to complete the damn freaking paper. Haihz, people were feeling the heat when the time limit was nearly up, and I was not exempted from this.

Anyways, with the request of my friend, he asked me to blog about DOTA!!! Seriously, I don't think he knows much or anything about dota. Well of course, being the lazy bastard I am, I did played dota the day before MAP, and to be exact, it was 2 and a half hours. 1 against Simon which lasted quite sometime and I was pretty much at a losing end. The next game with was my 2nd game with a whole bunch of people I didn't know, and they were playing AR, meaning all random, and I got a pretty good hero, but I didn’t know how to use it soooo I repick my hero, and got a hero I am more used to. This game was rather long as people in this game were extremely good. No joke. It lasted more than 1 and a half hours. Seriously, I wanted to end the game early since I wanted to get some studying done. I know after this I would get quite a number of people angry. But, what is there to get angry about, the paper is over, no point reflecting on the past.

Alright I have blogged about dota as requested by Mr. Marcus Tan. Life is tiring no, well I feel so. Anyways, I am slowly going through an extremely slow process of redefinition, self redefinition to be exact. Wanna get a fix on who I really am. Yeah man, I need to find myself. Actually I kinda wish that the exams is over so that I can begin my redefinition, and I'll definitely start with my computer. It needs to be cleaned up, from all the crap that it is holding, I wanna clean it and begin my new system from scratch, meaning I need to reformat my whole damn computer, starting from all of my unnecessary drives, and then move on to the main system drive, the C: drive. Hehehe, after that I would also be redefining my wardrobe, of course based on the clothes I like, and at the cheapest price I can get. Seriously I need to get the most from the amount of money I have received. Need tips from shopping enthusiast to find out where to get the best bargains, and the best buys.

Alright guys, I am definitely gonna start upgrading my blog during those time, it shall seriously be a busy time for me, as there are many things I want to do, but seriously not enough time to do it. Well, I'll try my best.

Hehehe, well seems that I am quite in the up mood. Hehehe, of course, I have mood swings. Of course right, I am still a human, I'm no robot, not angel, neither am I a devil. To be exact, I am a human filled with flaws.

My oohhhh my, I can't really believe it that no one is clicking on my google adsense. Please do at least 1 click would be enough. Contribute to my wealth, and if you are up for it, you can also sign up for google adsense and put it up anywhere you want to put up. Just click on the right side of the blog, and come to register with google adsense through me. This part of my post is definitely wrong, but after another 14 more posts, then it shall be gone.

And people don't worry about the active or not active part beside your name to the links of your blog. This is because I shall take it off soon enough. Yeah yeah, worry not I shall be revamping this site as well, my blog needs it. It needs new blood, fresh blood, to make it more interesting. Shall be slaughtering around for some good stuff, to be hanged in this realm of chaos.

Hehehe, I've been typing for quite awhile sooo its time to move on. Remember, to come by often to check out the next update on this very horrible blog.

posted by Elwyn at 10:14 PM | 3 comments

Saturday, November 05, 2005

Miscommunication !? Forgiveness !? Confrontation !?

Ahhh it seems that someone has included profanities in their comment towards me. Such vulgarity should be returned with the same amount of vulgarity or even more. But after calming down my nerves a little and had a short conversation with Sue, I had an idea as to what to blog about this bugger. Well, as it seems that the stupid bugger has misinterpreted the title of the last post. The title "Don't read this, a warning that i cry!!!" might have been misinterpreted with the word cry I use there. Well, for your information I didn't cry, and that word cry is meaning like a plea, or telling with really really sad tone, well that is how I interpret that word from that sentence. I ain't no English wizard know-it-all, but I know a fair share of the English language. Sooo I guess I have to use simpler English for those who isn't good in the English language. Really tough.

Well, well, as for that superb-ly rude commenter, I would like to inform you, I know that you were in Pahang when you commented on my blog. I also know that you are a TM user (sometimes it maybe other service provider), and I also know the IP address of your computer. Having said that, I also know that you were using Firefox, when you came into my blog with your monitor at a resolution of 1024 x 768. I'll be looking out for your IP in the future. Because it is necessary to know who is this uneducated brat who seem to deem himself superior. Haihz, it saddens me to know that people ridicule my sad moment. And if some of you who may not know what ridicule means, it means to mock, or to make fun of. Sadly this fool has no idea.

Well, of course I am feeling better now, but still feeling rather down. But I guess I have to force myself to study from now on. I have no choice. I can’t afford to fail this semester. I really can't. well, enough said, gotta push myself to study as much as I could tomorrow, and then do the past years papers for ADM. Hahahaha, I am screwed, it would certainly be a miracle if I were to pass this coming finals.

I hope my friends in college read this. I am sorry to have offended anyone of you, if it were my attitude, or my ego (please tell me if I do have an ego because I've been told I to check my ego, yet I don't really know why I've been told that), or any of my words. Since it is Hari Raya Aidilfitri, I would like to take this moment to Memohon Maaf Zahir dan Batin to all my friends not only my college friends, but also all those who are my friends. I would like to take this opportunity to also say despite the lack of faith I have in religion, I totally respect every person's religion. Soo respect my believes ok.

And another paragraph to my college friends, who are also known as the foyer gang, please tell me anything that is wrong with me, because if I don't know what is wrong with me, how am I to improve myself, am I correct. Don't worry, I am pretty receptive to your opinion. Of course you would have to explain to me, because I do get pretty blur at times.

Well, I guess this post is long enough, soo I would like to end with, come on people, say something. Hahaha, I guess I have built a bigger bunch of enemies who wouldn't forgive me. Really feel sorry to know such things. Anywayz, y'all out there, have fun and enjoy your life.
P.S. I am going to change my ways a little, i would be confronting more i guess, maybe be a bad move, may be a wise move. The results would be seen later.

posted by Elwyn at 12:36 AM | 0 comments

Thursday, November 03, 2005

Don't read this, a warning that i cry!!!

Friends, oohhh friends. People always say you can't live with them, and you can't live without them. Well, I don't really know anymore. Will they be my downfall or will they be my key to awakening. Well, these past few days, I have been bothered by thoughts of friends. I don't really want to hurt people's feelings, but what I have been holding inside is really eating me up. Those who have seen me these past few days would know how dead I am. I wonder how badly my name has been stained. I don't really know for sure.

Life is cold. Family is in trouble. Death seems soo nice. But the love is still there. Friends are still there. But enemies are getting more. Faith in myself is diminishing. Yet I was just about to believe in myself. Can't be ignorant for the rest of my life. But still I long to ignore the problems that hits. Why cant life just be simple. I just wonder why. My heart grows weak by every growing moment. Yet my dreams jus fades away into the shadows life despair. I feel myself broken up, unlike anything I have ever imagine.

I long to be happy, yet happiness is just a temporary solution.
I wish for the beautiful death, yet this, wont solve anything either.
I wonder how bleak my future is.
I wonder if life will be the same again.
Troubles and problems are constantly in my mind.
As I ponder ways around it.

Forgiveness is useless, if the person doesn't forgive.
Sorrow is desperation for the attention craved.
Paranoia is what holds people on.
Trust, is most valued at hand.
Coldness, is how I describe myself.
Heat would never release it.

Pain strikes without hesitation.
It strikes as deep as it could.
Nothing can stop that pain.
As its part of a puzzle.
Which is called life.

I don't really know what is going on already. With this feeling for raya, I am just a plain sad case of a human. People say to not take it to heart. But no matter what, I'm still human. I don't understand, I just simply don't understand. Like many times before, death seems soo nice at times like this. But it will sadden people as well. I'm just too lost. A lost sad case of a human. My heart just gets heavier, and heavier. Well, I guess I deserve it don't I. Well enough said. Its not like anything would get better. This post is sure to set in motion some remarks as to how I crave for attention. Yes its true I crave for it. But what I crave more is just to have plain simple fun. This post would also make certain people really sad as well. I am sorry, I just can't hold back anymore. I know it should be kept in a diary. But I never liked a diary. Because the internet is my friend since I was young. A place where I express myself. Sooo I express myself here. I doubt people would come back to this blog of mine. While typing this out, I am listening to KRWLNG by Linkin Park from the album Reanimation. It is the only song I could really relate to. It has a firm grip on my heart.

My heart feels like crying, but I can't cry now. Its raya. I don't really know anymore. Maybe I should just stop. I'm thinking too much, and must be really damn sensitive. I guess I'll go on, living my life even though I don't deserve it at all. I was most probably a mistake in life.

"Death is beautiful" - this is what I think.

posted by Elwyn at 1:28 AM | 1 comments

Wednesday, November 02, 2005

Feel great i am not

Not feeling too great these days. I can't really say why, but there are some stuff that are bothering me. And I have been thinking way too much. Seriously been thinking way too much and way too hard. With my fatigue level at its peak, I could barely study, leaving me stranded on a page of notes for a long time. Somewhere around 20 minutes or more. I'm sooo screwed. Really, really screwed. Well, just have to make the best out of it don't I. I don't really know what to do anymore. Haihz, life is really hitting the low now. Well its gonna be Hari Raya tomorrow, so I guess just have to be cheery and be my normal self. Hopefully I can pull it off. I seriously doubt I can overcome this fast enough. Well, just I'll be screwed for exams. Leaving it like that, but I will try my best to make the best out of it. I hope.

posted by Elwyn at 10:00 AM | 1 comments