i dunno wat the title means this time ... but it just sounds nice, or right for the situation of the moment. life is tough and im in denial. i seem to be in denial as i seem to be running away from almost all of the trouble and problems im facing. well, of course i am running. im weak. so to speak. there are many things i wanna say but i dun feel like saying it. dun really know wat to do. couldnt really foresee wat would really happen for the actions i would spend time thinking about. so basically my head is in a mess. tons of problems popping out like mushrooms on a dead log after a rainy day. dam, why am i not strong enuf to face it. maybe i am, but dun really know how to face it. maybe dats why im shit scared about wat my future would be. many things crossed my mind and yet i block them out. why i would ask myself, but i myself dun really even know why. so wat the hell !!!!

anywayz, plans screwed up, and dat really sucks. but i cant really help could i. some things i cant face it till i have the opportunity to face it. such a problem would be the may 19th problem. a day from where i shall battle it out with all i've got with as much support i can get from anybody who i can get support from. thus this is important to be settled. if i dun settle it properly, then i might be wasting a year of my life of which my parents would not be happy about. especially my mother. and so that is wat been really bugging me. another problem is the usually university stuff ....... assignment. its the final assignment, and the max word count on this assignment would wat ... 8000 words !?!? well dats the truth, 8000 words essay. not really too sure how my group mates and i would pull it off. 4 buggers, 1 of which is me is a true lazy fucker. oohhhh truly in denial i would say.

ahhhh the addiction is there again, dota. ahhh i have quite a few addiction. those other addiction i would not say as i dun really see the point of saying it since people would condemn me for it anywayz. im guessing my parents know about some of my addiction, and really reprimands me about it. but i just brush off their reprimand and still continue wat i like. and which like i said, i am in denial of the problems i face and this addictions are the things that really keeps me saint.

there are many things i wan in this pathetic life of mine and there a number of them of which i need money to gain it. ahh life with a restraint on money. that certainly is uncool. dam i have never worked in my life. not a proper job anywayz. quite unfit i presume. and also the fact dat i am just a plain guy with nothing better to do. there are so many people i envy, cos they dun really care much about the restraint. especially there a few in sunway who really spends like they really filthy fucking rich. but i dont really know for sure la. its just me crapping away here like a nonsense fucker who has a really filthy mouth. oh there is so many things i hate as wel labout this dam idiotic world i am in. unfairness is everywhere to begin with. this is unfair, that is unfair. the world is unfair, and humans are the most unfair. like i bother, unfair or not, life still goes on. this unfairness sure kicks alot of people in the ass and really making them losing all they got. maybe dats why there is religion dat helps salvage people. oh wat a great thing it is. yeah it may be good, but it is just a way for people to brainwash others and really make things go bad sometimes. isnt dat bad? i dunno never liked religion anywayz. i know i will be condemn for dat but i dun bother. i respect people and their religion, but never ever try to preach me about it or even ask me stuff about my "religion".

haihz, well, nothing can be done much about it. some people r really gifted and some are not. im most probably just and average joe or maybe a worse joe. but i would point out im just a simple guy, dat has only a few definition about stuff and cant really elaborate stuff well. thus my explaination are short, with the lack of communication skills, and inability to really speak out, i m considered a failure am i not. trying quite hard to communicate. and sometimes i succeed. oh well there are a few pictures here dat i posted as well for the sake of pointing out wat i really mean.

this picture is nice dun u think. the sky is really beautiful especially in the evening. dam the picture is like a painting. the color of the sky is like sooo painting like. a painting dats seems to have captured the sky in its beauty. ohhh i love this pic of the sky. isnt the sky just plain beautiful.

ahhhh my all time favourite spaghetti, which is spaghetti bolognese from Milwaukee. its so sweet and nice. indeed it is much much better than the cabonara. i have changed my mind about the bolognese after eating it like last year, end of last year, but i was still favouring the cabonara, of course which i now vote to be my 2nd favourite food. and of course my 3rd favourite food would now be the pepperoni pizza from dominos. they are certainly generous with the cheese and of course it is sooo yummy dat i could gulp down 5-6 pieces of a large pizza and dat is just sooo dam nice.

this is on the other hand the spaghetti cabonara dat sue had eaten. nowadays i dun really favor it as much as i used to because i now love the bolognese sauce from milwaukee. oh i forgot to mention as well that milwaukee is very generous with the sauce for the spaghetti, and i mean both the spaghetti.in the beef cabonara i would certainly have more beef to eat with my spaghetti. meaning i would have a rich taste of the sauce while eating the spaghetti. and dat is the reason why i like the bolognese soooo much. sooo much of the beef sauce that it is just a sweet taste in my mouth. but dat is not acceptable for me. they shud have more spaghetti so dat it is more enjoyable escpecially by me. ahh crapping shit here. anywayz those were a few pics. couldnt post anymore cos i could upload them on photobucket.

oohhhh let me crap more. my car is crap now. the consumption is so bad that on a full tank of RM72 - RM74, it only gives me only 300km-320km or the most 340km. it just plain sucks, then engine is noisy and no matter how many times i complain to them people at the service center the outcome is still the fucking same. do they even check it. i really wonder or they are doing a fucking con job about it. anywayz, i recommend do not get a fucking KIA car as it sucks 150%. love the interior but the performance sucks to the max. crappy car dat consumes petrol like air needed for people to breath. haihz, a bad choice of a guy who knew nothing back then and a naive little boy who likes the car because it looked nice. asshole the boy is. really asshole.

anywayz, life will be very uncertain for me with plans and schedule really fucked up with the may 19th problem coming soon. i wished dat it would come out earlier so dat i can settle it earlier and avoiding any future problems dat could arise from the fucking shit that is coming pretty soon. those who r close to me would know wat the crap im talking about here. haihz. sometimes i wish i am carrying a fucking loaded magnum to blow brains out. but unfortunately dat isnt going to happen. haihz ... i am trigger happy, not only cameras but also guns. i would really love to get trigger happy with a whole bunch of guns, especially some really good looking magnums. glocks are the classic. but of course i would certainly like to fire a few rounds of the MP5 .... yes i am a sick pathetic bastard.

anywayz life is pretty fucked here now. as how i have been explaining thru out my post this time. i intentionally write a fucking long post just to really make sure people dun read it to the end. watched a movie, a singaporean movie, by jack neo. nice film but at some point it didnt make sense at all. really it doesnt make much sense at times. it touched a few issues in life. certainly it would really make me sad with those things happening and there are times dat it has a really funny scene. ohhhh i hate ..........

ahh better not say it .... but im guessing people would know wat i am trying to say. anywayz. this is all i have to say now. gonna get some sleep. and MaS cries goodbye