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lost dreams

My name is MaS,
and i have yet to grow,
from my adolescent state,
to wat many call as a mature adult,
though i am no longer a teen by age,
thy shall act like a kid,
but only for a certain time,
or risk facing trouble thats shit,
im no longer a kid,
im no longer a teen,
but could i still act as one,
for the fun of it.

Life, is shit, and shit is life, and this is how h eruns his life. Life is unfair and so is he, he harden his soul to create a emotionless spree. He is soo lame he is soo quiet, but that is how he is. He is all vulgar and also disgusting, but he is who he is and not like other. He holds a principle, based on his soul, its always changing with the flow of time. The growth is there but it isn't obvious because the life he's in is so damn troublesome. He may seem all nice, he may seem like a pushover, but never try his limit or you'll face his anger. His life is tough, and he knows others too have it tough, but everyone is different and they should never be compared. Comparison kill his spirit, comparison killed his mind, it is as though it is no more his but rather it is others. He is disturbingly disturbed and sometimes extremely the extreme, but this is rare as its a rare phenomenon. He is nothing but a fool indeed, living thru this life with all he got. His life seems awful, but it is to him alone, he wouldn't understand others as how others wouldn't understand him. Thank you so much for reading this shit, as it means alot for his stuff to be read.


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Wednesday, November 23, 2005

Creep

When you were here before,
Couldn't look you in the eye,
Just like an angel,
Your skin makes me cry,
Float like a feather,
In a beautiful world,
I wish i was special,
You're so very special.

And i'm a creep,
I'm a weirdo,
What the hell am I doing here,
I don't belong here.

I Don't care if it hurts,
I wanna have control,
I want a perfect body,
I want a perfect soul,
I want you to notice, when i'm not around,
You're so very special,
I wish i was special.

But i'm a creep,
I'm a weirdo,
What the hell am i doing here,
Well I don't belong here.

Woahh woahhh,

She's running out again,
Oh she's running out,
She run run run ruuuuunnnnnnn, ruuuuuuuuunnnnn.

Whatever makes you happy,
Whatever you want,
You're so very special,
I wish I was special.

But I'm a creep,
I'm a weirdo,
What the hell am I doing here,
I dont belong here,
i dont belong here.

I have grown pretty attached to this song. It is creep by radio head. I'm listening to the Acoustic version. Super attached to it. its playing on my comp non-stop on my comp and even as i blog. It is looping on my comp, without end. Why i have grown soooo attached to this song. Well it is because i was so stuck on the tune. Then slowly i listened to the lyrics. And from there i grown highly attached to it.

This is because i feel that, i am like how the lyric says. I don't belong here. I don't really bel0ng anywhere. Do I ??? I still wonder till this day and age. More and more Depressing moments in my life. Sometimes, I just can't really take the pressure. But its ok. Someway or another, I guess i really Don't belong here.

Ahh I'm still waiting for the reply from the job recruiter. I might not land the job after all. And thanks you guys for telling me about the Resume. I pretty much contacted my aunt and she passed to me a few resumes for me to look up. Well, i did a very basic version of it. Maybe it is that reason why I don't think i would get the job.

Well I'm screwing myself emotionally. Can't help myself. I'm .... I'm on the verge of breaking. Only thing keeping me saint is my comp and the few friends who still help support me and advice me. But not forgetting Sue, who has been there for me for my down times. But still, I'm screwing myself really alot lately. Bad indeed.

Time to stop it. Now need to ... eat lunch. Havent had lunch yet. and it is already 3.30 ... in the afternoon. So yeah, let me get my pizza that is in the fridge.And eat that.

posted by Elwyn at 3:12 PM

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