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lost dreams

My name is MaS,
and i have yet to grow,
from my adolescent state,
to wat many call as a mature adult,
though i am no longer a teen by age,
thy shall act like a kid,
but only for a certain time,
or risk facing trouble thats shit,
im no longer a kid,
im no longer a teen,
but could i still act as one,
for the fun of it.

Life, is shit, and shit is life, and this is how h eruns his life. Life is unfair and so is he, he harden his soul to create a emotionless spree. He is soo lame he is soo quiet, but that is how he is. He is all vulgar and also disgusting, but he is who he is and not like other. He holds a principle, based on his soul, its always changing with the flow of time. The growth is there but it isn't obvious because the life he's in is so damn troublesome. He may seem all nice, he may seem like a pushover, but never try his limit or you'll face his anger. His life is tough, and he knows others too have it tough, but everyone is different and they should never be compared. Comparison kill his spirit, comparison killed his mind, it is as though it is no more his but rather it is others. He is disturbingly disturbed and sometimes extremely the extreme, but this is rare as its a rare phenomenon. He is nothing but a fool indeed, living thru this life with all he got. His life seems awful, but it is to him alone, he wouldn't understand others as how others wouldn't understand him. Thank you so much for reading this shit, as it means alot for his stuff to be read.


taggy board


posts that had passed

the past of this blogger

credits


Wednesday, August 31, 2005

MERDEKA MERDEKA MERDEKA (a lil sidetrack on the eve though)

hahahahahaha ...... wat a merdeka eve it was ..... well .... i have to say .... it was 1 of the longest day around ..... n a very tiring 1 at dat .... really ..... hahahaha ... i woke up at around 6 u know ..... despite having classes only at 11.30 .... well ... of course ma ..... went to fetch sue from her house ..... to my house .... where i cook her an omellette breakfast ...... b4 watching some anime n desperate housewives .... not long after ... had to leave for sunway lor ..... n then classes n classes ..... soo dam tired i was .... slept thru a few lectures ..... couldnt stand it at all ..... hahahahaha ..... anywayz .... in the evening went to 1 U ...... actually planned to go pyramid 1 ..... but then we were rather undecisive ..... soo ... we had a coin toss to decide whether to go to 1U or to pyramid ...... soo it was a 3 out of 5 thing ..... n 1U was chosen after the last toss ..... it was a draw atthe 4th toss ..... dats y it was only decided at the last toss ..... anywayz ...... the last class ...... adm ..... was longer than usual ...... but lucky it ended slightly earlier than the time it was suppose to end .... which was 6 ...... then met up with sue ....... n then off we went to 1U ..... on the way there was quite jam la .... hahahaha ...... but we enjoyed ourselves despite the long jam .......

after dat ....went to search for parking .... hahaha ... at the 4th floor .... same floor s the gsc of 1U .... nice place it is ..... hahaha ... anywayz ... wanted to watch charlie n the chocolate factory ..... but .... when we got there ...... the only seats available was the seats at the front most row ..... meaning the row nearest to the screen ...... sooo ..... we saw there were a number of reserved seats still available .... sooo ... we decided to wait till those seats open up 30 mins b4 the show to get those seats ...... hehehehe .... n soo we headed to have our dinner ..... hahahaa ..... really .... wat a good dinner it was ... really good i say ..... no joke .... n then .... we went to get our tickets .... we were lucky enuf to get the last 2 seats of the reserved seats dat opened .... hahahaha .. really lucky ..... we did met up with tracy n neal ... amirul n pei lin ..... they were out for merdeka eve celebration n shopping .... hehehehe ....

boy was the movie good ..... most probably bcos i didnt read the book ... hehehhe ...... like i said b4 ... im no reader ...... anwyayz .... b4 the movie .... we smuggled in starbucks into the cinema .... hahahaha .... anywayz ... after the movie .... we walked around .... b4 heading to the park outside of 1U ... hahahaha ....... n just talked there ........ but in the car ...... hehehehe .... i gave sue a surprise ......

hehehehe .... im not telling the surprise ......... hahahahahahha ......

not long after midnite .... we went to have supper at mamak b4 heading home ..... a lil more special merdeka eve .....

posted by Elwyn at 5:13 PM | 1 comments

Saturday, August 27, 2005

dam fucked up flu .....

yes .... im am down with a flu ...... dam flu ...... oohhhh ... about my last post .... sorry about dat ...... was feeling rather down ...... it happens ...... just letting alll my feelings out dat time .... but now ..... im feeling dam sick .... stupid flu is slowing me down in my work ( as though im doing my work) ..... but at least ... i wanna do sumthing else ..... like .... cleaning my pc ..... the internal part .... burn the dam animes into cds .... its taking too much space already .... gotta burn them down ..... n then ... wanna wash my car ...... n clean the inside of my car ..... dam it ..... y is there sooooooo much to do but soooooo little time to do it .... how i wish i could split myself into around .... 5 of us .... n then we all do the task dat we need to do .... at the end ..... we combine back .... n have a good good rest ...... hahahaha ....... dreams .... they r all just dreams .....

well well .... anywayz ..... i have a different look from b4 .... really .... hahahaha .... well .... i post about dat another time ...... dam it ..... have a slight headache ....., n the flu is terrible ..... well well ..... suppose to sleep soon ..... but hey ..... knowing me .... im waiting for my fren to get ready ... n sooo ... we can dota .... after dota i shall sleep .... muahahaha .....

alrite ..... i know its bad .... but dun really care now ..... like life is gonna care whether i die or not .... it will still continue on ..... hahahaha ..... i know ... im losing my mind actually .... soo .. dun mind the crazee me talking crap n bullshit ....

n soo ... wanna say ... goodbye n see ya .... may u enjoy ur life ....

posted by Elwyn at 9:22 PM | 0 comments

Thursday, August 25, 2005

have been pessimistic .... y le ... i dunno ....

oohhh oohhh ........ y do i hate life soooooo much ....... i know y ..... it really hits me hard onto the ground sumtimes ....really painful .... not physically .... but mentally ..... suffering on a day to day basis ...... sometimes ..... just feel dat ..... my old ideals r much better ...... dats it seems to me now .... really .... dam ...... why .... ooooooooooo why!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

dam it .... really been super impatient .... wat is causing me to be like this .... i really cant figure out myself anymore ..... im far wasted ....... i dunno myself anymore ..... im really losing myself ..... the only thing dat is holding me in is the things i use to get my mind over it ... like dota .... porn .... yes ... i do watch porn .... n reading my magazine ..... im just way over my head now .... i could be said screwed for life ..... aarrrgggghhhhhh

i know im gonna get some scolding for writing all of this ..... by sumone ..... haihz .... cant be helped la ..... really down ...... dunno how to help myself anymore ...... really just cant help myself ...... im just too weak ..... just too weak ...... haihz ..... im really gonna lose it all ..... aint i .....

ahhh ..... sorry guys ... i know u may think im looking for sum pity ..... maybe it is .... i just cant be bothered anymore ...... really awful ....

see ya ... goodbyez ..... i dun feel like blogging anymore .... doesnt serve much purpose anymore .... byez

posted by Elwyn at 11:09 AM | 5 comments

Monday, August 22, 2005

i know i've havent been blogging pretty much lately ....

like my title says .... i havent been blogging much lately .... bcos im stuck onto dota .... yeah .... hahaha ... sad rite .... cant be helped la .... its like dat .... well .... econs students ..... it is called ... opportunity cost ..... the time i spend for dota .... could not be spent for blogging ... n also doing my assignment ..... hahaha ... actually ... i dun really have the mood to do my assignment .... but just have to do it la .... no choice ma ... hahahaha .... but when le ..... i think i'll start tomoro .... since im going back to sunway ..... with sue .... i go there .... i shud be able to study .... yeah ..... i hope so .... but im certainly going there on wed ..... to discuss on my Accounting for Decision Making (ADM) assignment part 2 with my partner ..... mr eugene chin ... hahahaha .... i just gotta start doing my assignment .... including my individual assignment for Introduction To Marketing (ITM) ..... its due in the 8th week ..... ok ok ... this week is the 5th week ..... u do the calculations ....

alrite ...... y am i blogging .... cos i didnt play dota for the day yet ..... n dun plan to ..... hahaha ... yeah i know ..... i also dun believe i can stick to not playing for the day ...... but hey ... at least i try to point out ..... so far till now ... i havent played it at all .... just downloaded stuff .... hahaha .... enriching my computer resources ..... with stupid stuff la ..... really wasteful stuff ..... n i mean it is a total waste of time ..... really ..... hahahahaha .... n also .... burning my naruto episodes into cd ...... today i burn from episode 44-87 ..... cos i've already burned the earlier episode quite a long time ago .... well .. i need to do so ... cos im running out of space for my new animes .... hahahaha ..... talking about new animes ... i totally forgot to check out whether there r any new animes dat just came out or not ....... oohhhh ..... i also wanna talk about ppl who thinks lowly of ppl who watches anime n reads manga n who has keen interests in it ..... actually ... i dun think im gonna talk about those ppl ..... but just giving out my point of view about wat they think about us .....

well well .... there r a great number of us who r very interested in animes n mangas ..... n yes ... we do make them as our hobbies .... it is sumthing great ..... like wat movie go-ers do .... they like movie alot also .... they watched alot of movies ..... same here ..... we like animes .... n we watch alot of animes .... well .... wats wrong with watching animes .... maybe they just dunno how many other animes out there .... n so do i .... there r many types of animes out there .... which have really great plots ..... n their manga (comic) is really awesome .... such as the manga 'DeathNote' .... it really takes ppl to a whole new level ... where the level of thinking/intelligence of the whole story .... i .... n affendi .... couldnt even anticipate the moves of the characters in the manga ..... the character thinks beyond wat normal ppl would think ..... n for him to plan his victory ... the plan which took a few months to prove his victory ..... was superb .... he planned eveything sooooo nicely ..... n using ppl to their fullest extend ...... the main character is beyond a genius ......

hahaha ... enuf of 'DeathNote' ..... well well ... animes also hold great plot ..... which makes ppl anticipate for the episodes to come .... truly ..... well .... even my parents critic me watching my animes ..... but i cant really go against them ..... they just really know how to put me down feeling low .... i dun fucking care ...... but scolding me for dota ..... i dun mind ... cos wat they say is true .... its a total waste of time .... but hey ... its entertaining .... n let me release all my frustrations into killing ppl .... hahahaha ..... but usually ... dat is not the case ..... i get killed ... all the time ... wat to do .... im a noob .... hahha .... to those who dunno wat it means .... noob means newbie ... person who is new to the game .... n yeah ... im quite new ... hahaha ....

anywayz ... y would ppl discriminate against those who have interest in animes n mangas .... is like others who have interest in comics ... n movies/ series .... well well ... enuf said ..... ppl sometimes dun understand others .... i just dun wanna mention the names of those who dun think highly of animes n manga ... but they themselves indulge in alot of movies n tv series ... soo .... dun bother anymore .....

wkakakaka ..... wanna know abit on animes .... u can check it out on my blog ... at about me ..... there is 1 section which has me talking about all my animes ... n how it is ..... its really dam good .... hahaha ....

alrite .... wanna say ... sayonara ..... n take carez ..... see ya guys later

posted by Elwyn at 6:39 PM | 3 comments

Saturday, August 20, 2005

yo ho .... its been awhile ....

yo ho ho ..... well i know its been awhile since i blogge d... since i was bz with my presentation ... n tutorial work .... i was really in a mess last week ..... a totally disorganised n totally disorientated person ..... soooooooo fucking lost i tell u .... soooo really terrible i was ..... bad bad time it was for me ...... really sooo messed up ..... anywayz ..... yaa haaa .... i am pretty addicted to dota ...... hahaha .... but for this few days to come ..... need to clean house again .... hahaha ... yeah u heard me ..... clean house ... well .... i just woke up .... n sooo ... just wanna blog .... about my week b4 i og out n have my breakfast n b4 coming back n cleaning up the house ..... ooohhhh i forgot to mention .... its my holidays ...... hahahaha ..... gonna ask my mother to buy some stuff to make great breakfast ..... great meaning really large breakfast for me ...... n guess wat ppl .... im near my target of 70kg already ...... 69 kg already ..... ahhaahha ... n yeah .... i am fat ..... oohhhh .... a wrong way to say it ...... i have fats on my body which can be felt n seen .... hahahahaha ..... looks like i need to workout ..... but im lacking the will power .......

n sooooo ...... monday ..... well ... it was pretty much ok la ..... like normal .... just always the screwed up feeling was always with me the past week .... really annoying shit ..... wat can do .... its like dat ..... hahahhaa ..... tuesday went on to be better than average .... since i got to play dota with 2 of my college frens .... n found a hero ... in the game ... which was rather suitable for me ..... ahhahaha ..... after dat ate 'adi burger' ..... it wasnt the normal nice la .... it was the below average la ..... but it was still a good burger to eat ..... n then went back home lor ..... oohhhh forgot to mention ..... had classes on tuesday from .... 9.30 - 5.30 .... of course there were breaks in between la ....

ok ok ... moving on to wednesday .... it was another long day ....... my mood again became foul ..... haihz .... sad case la me ..... really ..... anywayz ..... i was driving dat day ..... n waited for sue lin to finish up her belly dancing .... n her class started late .... n as usual .... i would go n have dinner with the hostelite .... carina n macha .... n carina's loving bf would also come with us la ..... ahahaha ... he would wan la .... hahahaha .....

thursday .... was not long ago .... n dat was the day of my presentation .... n i totally failed my presentation .... really awful shit ..... terrible work ...... yes im an awful person ..... haihz ...... =( .....

ohhhh ... ohhh .... i left this post unpublished till in the afternoon .... wat a stupid asshole i am ... well ... thursday .... as i would like to continue about ... was pretty ok ......

hahaha ... but on friday .... was better ... definately ... hahaha ... only had 1 class .... n then .... ate lunch at mamak .... n then off i went home ... only to .... go to the curve with 2 of my frens .... hahahaha .... we had a purpose of going there ..... really .... hahaha ... but im not telling the reason though .... hahahaha ....

n now ... saturday .... i have to clean the house .... only 5% done ..... oohhhhh im sooo gonna slave around the house .......

well ... see ya guys .... n take carez .....

posted by Elwyn at 9:31 AM | 0 comments

Sunday, August 14, 2005

peace y'all ..... life is being hyper rite now

hehehehehe ... welll .... i m pretty hyper ..... im guessing its bcos of the chocolates dat i ate earlier ..... n still eating .,.... cos i am fucking hungry ... n yet i havent gone out for food .... arrgghhhh .... hahahahaha ... anywayz .... im multitasking ..... really .... dam geng ...... NOT!!!! ... hahahaha ..... still i have more work to do... but this is how much i can do at the moment .... ok ok ok ok .... now im off to have dinner .....

its 7.37 ... on my comp ..... continue later ....

oohhh ooohhh .... im back from dinner ... hahahaha ... ok ok ok ok ..... the time is .... 9 ...... hahahaha ...... quite a long dinner ...... sooo ... wat i have been up to .... well ... i have been farting n doing shit ....... meaning wasting time la doink .... for these past few days .,.... n not forgetting DOTA ..... hahahaha .... well well .... yeah ... pretty lame ass i have here ... wat can do .... im not like many of u .... who always go out ... enjoy during the weekends ..... i dun go clubbing .... cos the smoke makes me sick ..... i dun drink .... cos i wont wan to drink ..... neither does anyone wanna spend their time with me on their weekends except for a few la .... hahahah ...... anywayz ... its just the same lame old me ..... complaining how lame n how terrible i am ..... the usual stuff rite ..... well ... wat can do .... im just simply to lame n useless ....

hahhaha ..... anywayz ... enuf of the self ...... dunno wat word to use .... im degrading myself ??? well ... anywayz .... im just telling how i am .... hahaha ... filled with flaws ..... if there is anymore flaws dat i missed out .... plz do tell me .... i wanna see how i could rectify it .... or make use of my flaws to my advantage ..... hahahah .... yeah .... u heard me correct ..... anywayz .... i really need u guys to help me .... anything wrong with me ... plz do tell me .... ok '????

alrite guys .... wat do u think i am ..... crazee ??? fucked up ???? pathetic ???? a sucker ??? an asshole ??? well ... u decide ... if there is anything else .... dat i didnt mention earlier .... u can mention it ..... cos i dun mind u know .... yeah ... i really dun mind ..... just let me digest .... n i'll be ok ..... hhahahaha .....

anywayz ..... its time to say good bye .... hahaha .... sooo meet ya guys next time

posted by Elwyn at 9:30 PM | 2 comments

Saturday, August 13, 2005

yo ho ho .....

heyya guys ... didnt really been updating my blog recently as a result of my addiction to dota ..... hahahaa .... finally ... im addicted to it ..... nyahahaha ..... anywayz .... i like to play it cos ..... it is with frens .... plus its online ... soo i can play it at home .... hahaha ..... alrite ... in this past few days ... nothing much to update .... well .... seems like the haze has been clearing up .... soo .... no point for me to explain the mask i wanted .... n sorry i didnt reply both of ur comments ..... well ... cos it is the voice of others ... n not mine .... sooo ... i carry my voice here ..... hehehehe ... anywayz .... the mask i wanted is the mask with the filters ..... like the chemical war fare kind .... yeah ... but without the eye part ..... hehehe ... well ... if u know joe hahn ... well ... if u seen him in 1 of the pics in the booklet from the cd .... well well .... u can see the mask dat he is wearing ... n dats the mask i wan .... hehehehe ....

ooohhhh ooohhhhh ..... life is shit la ..... gotta start on my assignment ... n my fucked up presentation ...... well well ..... gotta do this work for my own survival .... yeah yeah .... ahhahaha ..... oohhhh oooohhhhh .....

hoyoyo ... i dunno wat else to blog about ... usually ... i would blog about my daily stuff ..... but aint got the time n mood to do it .... hahaha ... sad case i am ..... well ... anywayz .... wanna blog about this ....

oohhhhh my patience over the year has worn thin ...... how shall i survive without my patience ....... wwe shall see how ...... alrite guys ... dats about it .... see ya ..... hehehhehe

posted by Elwyn at 11:13 PM | 0 comments

Thursday, August 11, 2005

its killing me slowly .... yeah it is .... hahaha

well well .... seems like the haze is getting worse by the day ...... is it gonna be declared a state of emergency ??? oohhh dunno la ...... sunway air smells ok in the morning ... but by the time in the afternoon .... u r breathing smoke ...... no oxygen is getting into my lungs .... sooo none were getting into my head ..... yeah yeah ..... psycho psycho ..... dam it ... i cant even blogged well anymore ..... well well ...... sad la .... not enuf sleep .....

ok ok .... haze is getting worse ..... n i wan DAT mask sooo badly .... but i dunno just where to get it ..... really .... it would look dam cool u know ..... dam it ..... only if i knew where ..... hahaha .... i wouldnt mind paying sum money to get it ..... who say u cant be fashionable ...... aarrggghhhh ...... n sooooo ... goes on .... like usual la .... hahahaha

my tiredness is really killing me .... n so is the haze .... n so is my aching body ...... n so is my exhausted mind ..... oohhhhh dead i am .....

ok la ..... sleep soon la .... see ya guys

posted by Elwyn at 8:51 PM | 1 comments

Tuesday, August 09, 2005

hehehe ... same old same old ....

well well .... its tuesday ... n i didnt blog yesterday .... y ... bcos i was too addicted to the game called dota ... hahaha ... yes ... i was finally able to play it online ... with my other frens ... using the pirated version of the game ..... hahahaha ... well ... to sum up yesterday n today .... it just plain sucked ......

the air is bad .... the condition is bad .... yeah ... the haze is back .... n soooo ... till when shall we suffer ...... hahaha ..... well well ... hopefully it goes away .... by tomoro .... well actually ... im pretty tired .... n sleepy ... soo .. im gonna keep this as short as possible ....

monday morning .... went to sunway as usual .... sue drove .... as how we agreed upon ..... n then ... went to lectures like usual ...... hahaha ... n then later in the afternoon ... went to medan for lunch .... hahaha ..... yeah .... pretty normal day as usual .... like my normal mondays ... nothing interesting happened ..... same as today

my normal tuesdays ..... except dat pink sucks ... cos they didnt take my order ..... fucker .... i already told them my order ... but they didnt take it down .... dam sakai ..... dun wanna eat there anymore ... unless .... under certain circumstances .... still prefer mamak /malay though ..... cheaper ..... nicer .... yeap ... dats pretty much all of it .... n then ... went for classes lor .... lectures lor .... n then waited for sue to pick me up la .... she drove again ... hahaha ..... anywayz ... had dinner at mamak ... soo it was satisfying .... good enuf for me .... hehehe ... n now ... i need sleep .... dam deprived of sleep .... slept at 2.30 woke up at 7.30 ..... for me .... dat is deprived of sleep ... really .... well ...

nitez y'all .... but it might be any other time when u read this ... soo ... take carez .... n have funz .... actually ... wanted to blog about sumthing dat is on my mind ..... but maybe another day .... as to how ... joey prolonged the post about y she doesnt wan to put a comment for her posts .....

see ya .... n live life strong ....

posted by Elwyn at 10:48 PM | 1 comments

Sunday, August 07, 2005

yo ho ... time to test my limits ....

yo ho ...... guys oohhh guys ..... since when havent i blogged ??? oohhhh thursday .... well well .... let me give u a round up of wat had happened to me on friday n sat .... well well ... on friday .... went to college as usual la ..... but this time ... i drove ..... fetch sue .... n then off to sunway ..... hehehe .... there ... i did sum work .... b4 sue went off for class with her fren .... n then ... i ate abit b4 moving to the foyer .... where ... i did more work .... not long after dat .... i was invited to play tai di .... ahhhhh .... sooo .... this was the 1st round .... n guess wat guys ..... i received a call from hitz.fm morning ... JJ n rudy ..... ahhhh .... i was the lucky person who got called for the contest ... cool with ur ex ..... they told me ... dat i could win the i-pod for not only me ... but also for my partner ... n my ex .... n also the gwen stefani latest album ..... n sooo .... they asked me sum stuff ... n then ... they said dat they were gonna connect me to my ex ..... ahhhh ... dam it .... n they say ... dat i have to make her admit dat i am better than her current bf in 1 way/thing ..... soo ... i gave a respond of ... " ohh dat is going to be tough " ..... but hey ... there were ideas of wat i can do running thru my mind dat time .... n they asked whether im ready ..... n soo ... they started to connect me to my ex ..... ohhh .... my heart was beating dammmmm fast .... n dam strong ..... nervous ma .... haihz .... n then .... as i waited .... no one picked up the phone ..... n it soon reached the voicemail .... n soo ... they say ... they'll try it again .... n soo ... i was hoping .. dat she would pick up the phone .... but again .... it reached the voicemail ..... n they say ... " sorry dude ... maybe another time " .... i was like .... ohhh .. ehh ... then ... put down ..... n it was a total shock for me .... sadness overcame me .... i was complaining all the way ..... how could anyone not complain .... losing a chance to win RM4500 worth of gifts ... n it was a sure win ... i would get the i-pod .... worth RM1500 ... 1 for myself ... 1 for my current partner ... n 1 for my ex ..... oohhhh .... sadness overcame me greatly ..... there were no way of them calling me again ... msg my ex .... well .. dat time ... she hadnt had a clue wat had happen .... n i was too shocked to be called ... n not be able to win ..... told her .... n she said ask them to call her back .... i was like .... how ??? haihz .... they call me ... not i ask them to call .... haihz .... sad le ...

well well ... i went on complaining the misfortune dat had happen .... n also asked my ex's close fren .. to ask my ex .... y ... y didnt she pick up the phone .... haihz ..... dam frustrated u know .... a chance blown to bits ..... ='( anywayz .... slowly ... i was able to pull myself together .... n just go on ... n then told sue lin ..... well ... actually ... it was her idea to join ... never realize we would get the chance to get chosen .... aih .... nvm la .... its all in the past .... n sooo ... i waited for sue to finish her class .... as i lepak around the foyer the whole afternoon .... yeah ... did sum work ... but after awhile .... couldnt do it anymore ... didnt had the mood to do it .... soo .. waited ... with amirul .... talking to pammy ... an ausmat student this year .... n soo ... it was fun listening to his crap ..... sure made me burst into laughter .... well .. not long after .... deepa came along .... n so did carina n wilson .... the usual me .. would always hang around ... n listen to them crap .... n talk .... n soo .... discuss a few stuff la .... then sue lin came down ..... hhehehe .... soon after ... carina n amirul left for pyramid ... as they had a movie to catch ... the island .... hahahaha ... then sue n i were in a dilemma .... on where to go ... wat to do .... then we finally decided ... to go to leisure mall for our dinner .... n soo ... i went back 1st ... as it was rather early to go for dinner ..... then .... i saw my ex online ..... she then told me not to worry n stuff .... they will sure call me again .... cos the contest is still not over .... dat wasnt how i think it was .... n then ... she told me the reason .... dat she didnt picked up the phone ..... n soo .... i tot it was pretty reasonable .... sooo ... not long after ... sue n i went for dinner at leisure mall ... we went around ... walked arund ... n then ate our dinner ..... but during our walk around .... i ... receive a msg from my ex .... seemingly like a hate msg .... ahhhh .... there u go ... another frenship sunken by the miscommunication .... of her best fren ... or maybe she doesnt like the way i was complaining about her not picking up ..... hello !!!! 1 i-pod per person .... n each i-pod is worth RM1500 .... plus gwen stefani's latest album ... who wouldnt complain man .... dam it .... n she told me off ... if sue n i were soo desperate to get an i-pod .... buy 1 ..... HELLO !!! .... if we had the money we would ... n told me not to use her n told me dat im a hypocrite .... n till now i dun understand wat hypocrite means ... well ... a 20GB i-pod .... 1 for each person ... including gwen stefani's latest album ... all for free ... wouldnt u complain for such a great lose .... well .. maybe u wouldnt ... depending on the person .... but hey ... lets be realistic here ..... im aint no rich fucker who can get watever i like ... soo .... be understanding ....

n sooo .... my live goes on ..... oohhh .... for her hate msg .... i apologise to her .... wat can do .... my fault ma ... since i complained too much ... correct or not ... ahh ... but no reply .... soo ... must be giving me d cold shoulders .... soo hurt i am .... but not for long .... i moved on .... n soo ... dats how my friday went ....

moving on to my sat .... i woke up rather late .... around 9 like dat ..... close to 10 .... ahhh ... i was tired the day b4 .... of course ... it was a long day .... n i did quite a few chores ... only a few ... b4 continuing to my lunch ... n my comp .... spend alot of time on it ..... n then ... cleaning it as well ..... cleaning the hardware ..... oohhh ... much work .... haihz ... sad sad ..... anywayz ... by the time it was evening .... i washed my car ..... n after washing my car ..... my family n i .... went out for dinner ..... oohhh ... we went all the way to SS2 for dinner .... nasi kandar kayu ..... omg ..... there was too much to eat .... even i couldnt finish eating ..... had to bring back sum of the food dat we ordered .... anywayz ... by the time i got back home ... i had to mop the floor .... luckily ... only the upstairs floor ...... n soo ... i did the cleaning ..... hehehe ... crazee .... n then ... had a nice cold bath .... ITS FREAKING HOT NOWADAYS !!!!!!!!!! n then ... just played abit on my comp ... b4 retiring to my bed ........ oohhh ... was a short round up for sat ....

well ..... on sunday .... it was rather hectic ..... in the morning ... i woke up .. around 8 ..... n then went to my comp for awhile .... b4 being called to have breakfast .... yeah yeah .. of course with my parents .... oohhh ... i drove of course ..... hahahaha .... n then went back home .... n clean up the front part of my house ... outside the house compound there is an area of plants .... saw a plant down ... n i had to throw the plant out .... n then ... had to catch some lil "ulat bulu" or caterpillar ..... cos they were eating my mother's beloved daun limau .... n she loved it alot ... anywayz ... i caught quite a number of them ... feasting on the leaves of the daun limau .... n soo ... later .... had to move a pot n the plant .... the plant's leaves were rather sharp ... n had poked me ... n cut me abit .... moving it to the neighbours house ... cos the neighbour wanted it ... n we dun wan it .... anywayz ... the daun limau plant was later moved to the back ,... by my father n i ..... n the trimmed sum serai ... i dunno the english name though .... n later went to play my comp ...... oohhh ... not long after dat ..... my father said he wanted to buy ink cartridge for his printer dat he brought back not long ago .... n soo ... he said ... lets go to low yat .... i said ... ok la .... n at dat time .. i was chatting with miss joey ... n bugging hr for a new post ... n then left for low yat la .... soo ... went there ..... knowing ... my father n i ... wouldnt really click soo .. i just keep quiet .... haihz ... n then after buying the stuff ... he told me ... dat he wanted to carry ... a table up to my computer room .... n he will do his work at his table ... n oohhh .... it was no easy task .... fucker .... my left arm was already giving me trouble as it is .... dam it ... n yet he wanted to move the table downstairs to upstairs .... n it was rather big .... alot of moving work here .... i was raining .... meaning sweating soo much .... dat i wetted my whole t-shirt .... ahh ... after dat ... got it done .... set up the new position ... n all ... good to go .... n then had a nice lunch ... filling lunch .. n back to my beloved comp .... hahaha ...

wow ..... i've been blogging for a lnog time havent i .... hhahaha ... nvm nvm .... .actually ... this is rather a long post ... since it consist of 3 days .... back to back .... hahaha .... yes ... this is my mundane life ... good shit to read ..... u can hate me .... or u can support me ... or u can just be neutral to wat i say .... but hey ... this is wat i got to say about myself ok ..... hahaha ... well .. d story is until there ... cos .... dat is when i started to watch my anime ... n then ... blogged after .... meaning until now la ....

anywayz .... dun blame me for being human .... dun blame for being soooooo flawed ... cos this is the way i am ..... i cant be perfect can i .... neither can others .... soo .... let me complain .... n just let it be .... cos after awhile .... i'll forget about it ... but if u were to make a big fuss over it .... dun ever think i'll forget it easily ..... n dats who i am .... kill me if u wan ... do watever u wan to me if u wan ... i wont resist .... but hey ... at least give me the rite to speak my own mind .... hahahaha

im really a sakai bastard for saying all of those am i not ??? hahaha ... let it be ... let it be ... let it be ...... cos i like the way i am .....

n soo .... i would like to end it ... by saying ... nothing is perfect ..... n there is no perfect plan .... n there is no perfection in our life ..... deal with it .... face the challenge ... n u shall grow to be better .... depending ... on how u r

posted by Elwyn at 7:36 PM | 0 comments

Thursday, August 04, 2005

hey ho .... lets go ....

hahahaha .... going psycho as always .... seems like im blogging every single day .... n it seems like i have no other life than on the comp .... which is pretty true ... haihz ... sad case i am ... always watching my anime .... n reading blogs .... n other stuff ..... im always in front of the comp .... a real sad case .... plus i dun really enjoy sports ..... nor cars .... nor computers ... but i have a lil interest in computers la .... enuf for me to ensure my comp is a'ok ..... need it to be .... omg ... i need to start burning animes n shows into cds ..... hahaha .... b4 my comp gets overcrowded again .... n overcrowded means .... i have very little space left for my stuff .... sad case fucker i am .... hahahaha ....

anywayz .... today is thursday .... n i didnt drive ... sue lin drove ..... n tried a new way ..... puchong way ..... hahaha .. she really enjoyed driving down dat way to sunway .... hahaha .... n parked at the condo hostel there .... the monthly parking wan u know .... anywayz ... enjoyed 2 roti canai today ... hahaha ... for breakfast la ..... ahh ahhh .. then went for class .... after class .... went to foyer .... did sum ITM work ... Introduction to Marketing..... for my tute tomoro ... hahaha ... scary shit wan ....after dat ..... played tai di again ..... with sum ausmat ppl ..... n macha ... hahaha .... ok ok ..... i played tai di until my hands started to shiver .... how is dat even possible ... but i realize ... dat it was bad .. soo i stopped ... n tried to continue doing my work ..... but i failed ...... then i realized the factors dat contributed to it .... part of it was bcos i was ... HUNGRY ..... STARVING ..... soo ... my body strife on food .. without it .,... it can work .... yeah .. dats how it is .... dam sad .... but it is true ....

anywayz ... ther other reason ... i dunno how to explain it though ..... but there is a reason dat i just cant find a way to explain it ... really .... i dunno la ... after dat went for lunch at mamak ... hehehe ... enjoyed my food there .... yeh yeah .... after dat went for class .... n then ... went back home .... cos sumone was feeling uneasy .... ahhh ... sad ... but true .... soo ... sue n i left ... n we went back to my house for awhile ... b4 going for the foot reflexology .... at leisure mall ..... fucking pain ... at certain parts .... like my organs ... such as my liver ... my intestine .... my lymph node .... my heart ... na few more other organs .... but the most painful would be my brain/head ..... fucking pain ..... oohhh ... the pain is at the feet .... but they tell me it represents the brain .... n soo ... i figure .. it is true .....

n soo ... to make sure it doesnt happen anymore ..... im gonna sleep early back nowadays ....

so nitez ... n take carez ..... go on living .... as how u shud .... soon ... i dun think i mihgt have enuf time for blogging anymore again ... sad case la me .... n soo ... .see y'all later .... hahaha

posted by Elwyn at 11:04 PM | 0 comments

Wednesday, August 03, 2005

parents .... u luv them ... n u hate them ....

haihz haihz .... dam it ... my father is in my comp room with me .... oohh .. wanna point out dat he n i dun get along very well .... cos we always end up in arguments ..... cos he was born in the year of the monkey .... n i in the year of the tiger .... n it is a bad combination ...... very bad indeed .... haihz .... sadnyer .... when ur parents always expect u to do this ... n dat ... n all those stuff .... achieve this ... achieve dat .... achieve alot of stuff ...... be like this person .... be like dat person ..... be the greatest leader the world have ever seen ..... its like .... they want us to be dam great n powerful n almighty ..... haihz .....

sometimes ..... i just wonder why parents love to compare ..... like my parents .... when my attitude is bad ... or i dun study much .... they would certainly compare me with their fren's children who r far better than i am ..... n not children who r not as good as me ...... n then .... when like .... all the misfortune stuff .... or like the money stuff ..... haihz ... they would compare to those really unfortunate ppl .... n really poor ppl ..... n say this say dat ..... make me feel like ... i cant live to their expectations ..... dam it ..... such a demoralising thing to do ..... seriously .... feel dam terrible lor ..... dun u ????

well ... after awhile .... i just listen with 1 ear ... n let out at the other ear .... stupid stupid .... haihz .... n then ... i always have dinner with them ..... n sadly ..... when ever dinner with them .... they'll give their usual lectures about this n dat ...... oohhh its soo dam annoying ... really ..... i have no choice but to listen .... i cant go against them .... cos whenever i try to stand n prove my point .... i would be said i was dam disrespectful n stuff ..... until i just give up la .... listen to wat they have to say la. .... though i hate them ... i have to love them as well ... they brought me to this world .... so dat i could make a difference in this world .... by my presence alone .... really 1 single presence can change the whole world ..... or actually the lifes of ppl who r affected ..... hahaha .. but it will cause a chain reaction wont it ..... hahahaha .... too much theory already ..... from the book i read last year ..... hahaha

anywayz .... gotta love them ... cos without them ... i wouldnt be here blogging would i ..... i wouldnt be studying ..... i wouldnt be enjoying quite a number of luxuries .... which isnt like luxuries of other ppl have .... really .... haihz .. sad case ..... soo ... i am who i am today ... thx to them ..... n my environment .,.... ahhh ... isnt adt just beautiful ..... well .... have to love them as well ... cos if it wasnt for them ... i would be working instead of studying ..... haihz .... i owe them a great deal la .... yeah yeah .... soo .... u luv them ... n also hate them .... n while u live under the same roof with them .... stand their attitude ....... dats wat i say ....

ooohhh oohhh ..... today today .... wednesday .... hahaha .... i knew wat caused the stupid haze yesterday ..... it was the palm plantation dat was burning ...... didnt read the newspaper .... but ... took a glance of it .... actually ... if it wasnt for the rain early in the morning ... it would stilll definately be hazy .... really .... but ... dun be at ease soo fast ..... the heat will continue for a few days more ... meaning ... the fire might still be going on .... or was it already taken care of ..... sad rite .... well well ..... today was up earlier than usual ... by like wat ... 5 mins .... n yet .... still late to go thru federal highway .... sucky jam .... took me an hour plus just to ge to sunway ..... sakai .... dat is even when i used the emergency lane .... yes i know ... dat is bad .... but i had no choice .... if i were to wait like a bloody fool in the other lane .... i'll be there for 2 hours ..... yeah ... soo taking another way tomoro .... hehehe .... ok ok ..... so the day started ok .... though not many classes .... had long breaks between classes .... omg ... i havent finish a few of my work .... dam it ... sakai .... dunno la .... anywayz .... tutorials started today ... since my 1st tute of the week would be on wed ..... macroecons ... hahaha .. aint dat bad la .... after my last class .. which was macroecons ... went to foyer ..... a whole big group of AUSMAT students were there ..... playing tai di ..... soo i watch the game ..... hahahaha .... after sumtime ... i played tai di .... lost 2 rounds .... but won 1 .... yeah ... fucking lucky dude i am ... hehehehe ...

oohhh this is turning out to be a long post .... quite long la .... considering .... i crap about parents .... haihz .... sad case wan la .... hahahah ... dunno la .... yeah ... im saying im the sad case ... ot my parents ..... my mom is super geng .... really .... my father ... ok ok only la ..... realyl .... n sooo life goes on ..... we must continue to live it rite ....

well ... seems like i got only 1 response about my hair ..... kesian nyer my hair ..... nvm .... but at least got 1 respond .... from joey .... hahaha ..... ok ok ok .... well .... from her comment .... straightening is definately a no no .... n sue lin also back it up ..... n sue lin said she prefer afro compared to straight hair ..... oohhh ... she has seen me in sumwat like an afro hair ..... but my main purpose ... is to either braid ... or .... afro .... or just tie (cheap like by sooooooo many times) ..... hahahahha .... n sooo ... the critic about my hair continues ... s ppl ask me t oget a hair cut .... n seriously ..... my hair is puffy ..... but there isnt any pwer puff girls there ..... sad ... they r cute ... in their own manner .... hehehe ....

alrite ..... now .... for my words of life ..... live life strong .... live life cool .... live life to help ur frens & relatives ..... live life to make a better person out of urself ..... live life to make a difference in the life of another ... n live life beautifully .... to end with a beautiful death .....

posted by Elwyn at 11:00 PM | 2 comments

Tuesday, August 02, 2005

emmmm .... wat a new sem .....

in the 2nd week .... n already there is an assignment due next thursday .... ahhh ..... uni life ... oohhhh uni life ..... sooo many stuff has happen .... but yet i dunno .... hahaha ..... though i wanna know ... many dun wanna let me know ... soo .. i guess i just have to live without knowing .... yeap yeap ..... hahahaha .... oohhhh ..... sumtimes ... i feel .... maybe its better to leave things alone .... but .... my heart is filled with curiousity .... sad sad ... but hey ..... just have to live life the way it is ..... oohhh oohhh ....

n sooo .... wats with this smoke ... dat is all over klang valley .... i think its all over klang valley .... cos i see the smoke is very bad in sunway .... n on the way back to cheras ... it is also dam bad ..... n the smoke is also in cheras ...... wats going on ????? well ..... this would be an unhealthy week .... crazee .... well well

today was a long day ..... n wats with federal highway ...... maybe bcos i was late ..... n omg ... i dunno wat to do about my hair ... i dun wanna cut it .... wanna keep it long .... n really style it nicely end of this year .... its either an afro .... or .... im gonna straighthen it n just tie it up ....

hehehe .... or maybe .... braid it up ..... yeah yeah .... sooo .... dunno how .... leave me ur opinion .... help me guys .... HELP ME !!! .... but if u need to help others ... plz do soo 1st .... ok ... take carez ....

n guyz .... do u trust me or wat ???

posted by Elwyn at 10:55 PM | 2 comments

Monday, August 01, 2005

yaaahhooooooo ...... y im happy ... hhehehe

oohhh ... yeah man ..... I'm now .... no more a professional on the road ..... hahahaha .... meaning .... i dun hold a P license anymore ... yeah .... hahahaha ..... but i wonder whether i should continue to leave the P stickers on my car on .... or not ..... if i do .... would ppl be aware of me ... n stay away from me or wat ???? im not too sure ..... wat shall i do .... lets just leave it on for 1 week ... n see wat happens .... hahaha ... well well ..... seems like my life is getting abit better by the day .... though i felt dat sumone might have felt left out today ..... well .... i wasnt soo left out today .... just nice to feel their presence .... n they acknowledge my presence .... dat was good ..... i feel good .....

ahhh ..... man i gotta hold back on spending on food ..... n gotta save some money ..... with the amount of money i just received ... dats suppose to last me till the end of november .... i think ... i can manage ....

oohhh ... ohhh .... the time is coming soon .... oohhh ... oohh .... she knows its coming soon .... ohhh ohh ..... how how ..... coming up with a plan ... since the day ... i have my day filled with classes .... soo abit tough for me ....

n sooo ... it is good to hear all is well with frens .... except for the poor isabel who has flu ... hope she gets well soon .... hehehe .... lets see .... im downloading alot of shows .... the movie .. charlie n the chocolate factory ..... the desperate hosuewives series ... got until episode 11 ..... came up with a theory about the plot .... for desperate housewives la .... know the ending from neal .... sad ending .... soo wanna know how it ended dat way ....

hehehee .... life goes on guys .... live life strong .... live life fun ... live life the way u wan ....

life may bring u down ..... but be strong .... n u'll be back up .... far stronger than b4 .... go on .... live to die a beautiful death ... dun ask me dat last thing .... just sumthing i believe in .....

posted by Elwyn at 10:46 PM | 1 comments