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lost dreams

My name is MaS,
and i have yet to grow,
from my adolescent state,
to wat many call as a mature adult,
though i am no longer a teen by age,
thy shall act like a kid,
but only for a certain time,
or risk facing trouble thats shit,
im no longer a kid,
im no longer a teen,
but could i still act as one,
for the fun of it.

Life, is shit, and shit is life, and this is how h eruns his life. Life is unfair and so is he, he harden his soul to create a emotionless spree. He is soo lame he is soo quiet, but that is how he is. He is all vulgar and also disgusting, but he is who he is and not like other. He holds a principle, based on his soul, its always changing with the flow of time. The growth is there but it isn't obvious because the life he's in is so damn troublesome. He may seem all nice, he may seem like a pushover, but never try his limit or you'll face his anger. His life is tough, and he knows others too have it tough, but everyone is different and they should never be compared. Comparison kill his spirit, comparison killed his mind, it is as though it is no more his but rather it is others. He is disturbingly disturbed and sometimes extremely the extreme, but this is rare as its a rare phenomenon. He is nothing but a fool indeed, living thru this life with all he got. His life seems awful, but it is to him alone, he wouldn't understand others as how others wouldn't understand him. Thank you so much for reading this shit, as it means alot for his stuff to be read.


taggy board


posts that had passed

the past of this blogger

credits


Tuesday, January 31, 2006

Good at 1st, Bad at last. AARRGGHHHHH!!!!!

heyya, just wanna blog about my bad gambling luck. it was good for the 1st 2 days before it went down a spiral. gone with the wind. indeed. haihz, plus with the big amount of cousins around with me. i lost quite a huge amount of money. seriously a great lost. i dunno why such a great lost. haihz. and when i tried to go out the last round with a big amount of money as my last bet, i had to pay triple. omg. its not a good thing here. lost quite alot of money there. n not forgetting having to pay for some of my cousin's things like the ice skating. like 7 of them went for skating, luckily i hae another cousin to pay for half of it. but still it cost more than RM200. my other cousin paid RM100, while i had to pay the rest. seriously, financially, oohhh its bad bad bad. plus, there is an uncle of mine who borrowed my phone instead of his own children's phone to call back to sabah. wat a bastard man. and its not for a short while. it was for quite sometime. wow, boy was i really pissed, and yet he can smile, n laugh, reallly bloody annoying.

haihz, i also had to pay for the pizza, which came up to a total of RM60 which my aunt said she would pay me back for, but still havent paid me yet. aarrrgggghhhhhhh

really losing the mood. haihz.

should i be straight forward and ask for the money that they owe or just keep quite. since they are relatives/family. dunno la......

all i can say all those above would total up to a near or maybe more than RM500.

haihz. its just makes my heart unhappy, to just have all of this happen to me.

not forgetting i have to become driver for soooo many, drive and bring them around. haihz. im tired, since i have to sleep in the hall for 3 nights straight already. and i couldnt get enuf of good sleep, and also in this freaking hot weather. its really getting to me.

well dats about it, this is my rants for CNY..........

posted by Elwyn at 4:10 PM | 6 comments

Sunday, January 29, 2006

Happy Chinese New Year

heyya wazzup, chinese new year seems rather upbeat. the reunion dinner wasnt dat bad. haihz, im having a writer's block. well, wanna say CNy is great. but i have lots of tasks to do. drive around alot. have to help alot. compared to last time. aahhhhhh.

anywayz, my cousin who uses my computer, that fool used my game account n played. bloody hell i got really furious, he didnt even asked me, neither did he informed me. and he tried to denied it even with the proof right in my hands. that dumb fool. bloody idiotic cousin i have here. but wat can do he is still my cousin. form 2 this year. extremely horrible behaviour.

well, now gonna bath. maybe i'll be able to blog after i let go this anger towards my cousin who really has no sense of privacy, or watever it is. sad case of a cousin he is.

ok la, i end it here la, till then. love ya guys....

MUUUUAAACCCKKKKKKKZZZZZZ

posted by Elwyn at 8:14 PM | 1 comments

Tuesday, January 24, 2006

Hyper! Cleaning! Baking?!?!

after the days of being down and miserable at work .... i got the day off .... n of course ... i had to clean up my room .. despite me saying it a thousands times to myself and to others ..... but i really did clean up my room .... but it is half way done ... well ... i woke up at around 9 .... n then lepak around for awhile in front of my comp b4 i received a call from my father asking me to bring something he forgot to bring .... well of course i had to drive n sit thru the miserable jam to town .... dam .... it was sure sure long ..... i felt it was long .... then of course i went back home straight .... continued some time on the computer before starting on cleaning up my room .....

well well, i started to clean my room, with a sudden hyper feeling. of course i had the radio on while i cleaned my room. and i cleaned and organized my magazines; Starz, Gempak and Utopia, and also some of my novel graphic which i have collected over the pass 3 years now. and then i went on to clean my study table which leads me to place my badges somewhere. yes badges from gempakstarz, the publishing company for Starz, Utopia and Gempak. then it hit me, why dun i put it on my brand new bag. hahaha, and so i did. took me awhile, as i had quite a number of those badges, and i couldnt put all the badges on my bag sooo i kept some of them in my new bag. nyahahahaha, n then i started to remove stuff from my shelf and throwing all the unnecessary and outdated and also the unwanted stuff. within an hour i pilled up a whole dustbin full of stuff. by then it was around 2, and i had to start helping my mother. wat was my mother doing ? well she was baking some cookies, as i told her dat today i am free to help her with the cookies, and sooo i did help and also did sue. then sue and i went out for lunch for more than an hour. and then back to help my mother with the cookies .....

oohhh boy was i beat from helping bake those cookies. really alot of work to do and boy the baking, and also there were a few problems with the cookies. continued on with the baking and also at the same time had to prepapre for dinner, cooked for dinner, ohh i didnt do the cooking my mom did. i did helped to prepare for dinner. and of course continued on with the baking till like wat, 11 o'clock at night, and even after then i still ahd to put the cookies into the respective bottles. and also i had to celotape/selotape the bottles so dat the air doesnt go in soo easily. oohhh by then it is 12. dam alot of work.

but yet, i find myself happier doing this kind of things. i dunno why. but hey, i enjoyed it. despite my body being beat at the moment. hahaha, wat a day, tiring but fun. enjoyable, and not something i drag. well its something nice.

alright, i really dunno wat else to say. sooooo lets say, i love u guys out there who is reading my blog.

MUUUUAAACCCCKKKKKZZZZZ =p

posted by Elwyn at 12:31 AM | 6 comments

Tuesday, January 17, 2006

Something's wrong with me / Negaraku or Mamula Moon or Terang Bulan ???

well i'll try my best to make this double post a good 1. well wats going on with me. i've been seriously tired, depressed, losing my appetite at times constant fatigue. especially when i am at work. even though i didnt do much work, i feel all of those. really really weird as to how i am like dat. but as soon as i get into my car and start to drive off. i kinda feel a little better. something is truly wrong with me, i just dunno wat.

kinda short isnt it. well i know i havent been blogging for awhile, and i even blogge dabout the same thing but in a shorter version. seriously i need to know wat is going on with me. well recently i have been trying my best to look after my health by going for check ups for my blood pressure. wat other health tips i needed was ..... i need to exercise. but i lack the proactiveness or wat was the word for it other than enthusiasm? cant really remember. the word la. well dat is why my fren recommended me to check out gyms or fitness center. well i really went to check out 2 fitness centers which would be appropriate for me to go. but would i have the money to join those gyms and also pay for the monthly fees. that is where i have to wait and see. or worse come to worse go to the park nearby my house and just bloody run around like a bloody fool. well i dunno la, i still lack the spirit to go and do it also. well we'll see how it goes .....

ooohhhh wats going on with me has practically ended i guess. but i have to say, this coming chinese new year shall be the gathering of the entire Ooi family. along with their spouses, and also childrens. as a result there shall be 29 family members ranging from the young toddlers, to the young kids, to the teenagers, to the young adults to the elder adults and oldest of all my grandfather. hehehehe everyone shall be in my house for CNY, as this shall be the biggest gathering ever. maybe our first and final whole Ooi family gathering. muahahaha, this would also mean there is a greater need to allocate space to sleep. toilets shall also be a problem. oohhh did i also mention dat 29 family members doesnt include the 3 maids ( i think its 3 maids ). seriously would be a problem. i shall also be getting the recipe for the superb steamboat that i ate in semenyih. muahahaha this is of course for the reunion dinner. oohhh this year's reunion dinner will really be a reunion dinner.

yeah yeah this time i have a bigger responsibility to help take care of my cousins who shall be visiting kl and those kl little brats. but luckily i have an older cousin who is able to drive. as b4 this we only needed to drive 1 car. but this time 1 car wouldnt fit everyone. cos i have maybe another 2-3 cousins to bring along. unless i have to bring the whole gang then i would need 3 cars. well, till CNY, i dun have to worry yet. oohhhh i also would be serving as a driver and transporter for the family members who shall be dropping in from out of town. hahahaha, that would also include my grandfather.

oohhhh this CNY would have more angpaus but then the amount may defer from wat i may expect. sooo hope i get loads of money and get real lucky in gambling this time. hehehehe. but not too lucky. or else i might end up being the 1 to pay for meals and tickets for movies. welll thats about it for now. next topic



*************


alright, only last night did i get the song about the Negaraku is a ciplak from another song which was sung in english and also in malay. the english version is Mamula Moon and the BM version is Terang Bulan. well for a better and greater info you can visit paulooi's site with the exact post about it, or even MalaysianTime. well i dunno whether it is real or not. with both the songs apparently dates back before our nation's independence. well, i aint no moral justifier, just a plain human who is curious, whether this allegations are true or not. but it is also wise not to trust everything we see or hear from the internet. that is the reason why, i really wonder if this were true, or is it a facade for dunno wat purpose or maybe just a rumour which people took the time and effort to make malaysian's doubt their own country. well there isnt much i can say about this. neither am i bothered by it. just that i find the tune of both the songs quite nice, and wanting to play a more upbeat and rock like tune of it. hahahaha maybe it can be achieved. muahahahahaha . but hey people do like the Mamula Moon alright, its quite nice to hear actually. sooo give it a try. and see for urself.

well dats about it. till the next time ...... love you guys out there who is reading this blog of mine


MUUUUAAAACCCCKKKKKKZZZZZZ =p

posted by Elwyn at 7:09 PM | 6 comments

Sunday, January 15, 2006

oohhh now only i remember a few good things dat happened

well it happened b4 all the bad things happened ... soo ... yeah .. .let me talk abit about it ..... i went dota with the sunway gang ...... the few sunway gang who plays dota .... hahahaha ..... nice games they were ...... from then ... i didnt played dota ..... really .... for real .... hahahahaha

i really dunno wat else to blog about ... so yeah .... short 1 from me ....

>_< ...................... Muaccckkkzzzz , love you guys =p

posted by Elwyn at 3:53 PM | 5 comments

Friday, January 13, 2006

I have a bad feeling about this year, is it analysis, or maybe a gut feeling.

well well, kinda watching House M.D. kinda good shit. after hearing it from amirul. soo find it and now watching it. hahahahaha not bad not bad. well well i know its been awhile since i blogged. hehehehehe, welll i gotta say i had a bad week this week.

really bad week. dun wanna go into details but i'll give a brief outline.

  1. feeling depressed during work.
  2. stressed by work since im in charge of making sure things go smoothly.
  3. stressed by problems that constantly arises.
  4. my aunt's husband on my father's side passed away.
  5. i banged into a motorbike and end up losing RM150 to settle that idiot.
  6. im fucking terrible at bargaining making a huge lost at buying stuff from petaling street.
  7. lost my handsfree kit which means i have to buy new 1.
i guess that is pretty much everything. those are the things that happened to me. no details but hey. just an outline. of course there isnt much things good that had happen except for ........... except for .........

cant remember bad memory i blame. that is wat i always blame for not being able to remember. bad boy.

well saturday i am still working. oohhh sad case. but hey i still have to supervise the work till my farther returns sad sad. or else i can get off early and dun really need to work such long hours.

well i certainly dun like the long hours. but work is still work.

well well. im certainly beat and tired. wanted to sleep earlier but hte internet is certainly tempting. sooo im here doing a whole bunch of stuff online.

well ..... thats about it la ..... about the title ...... ahhh forget about it .... hehehehe

alright guys ... love you guys ..... MUUUAACCCKKKKKZZZZZZ =p

posted by Elwyn at 10:45 PM | 2 comments

Tuesday, January 10, 2006

Ohhhh life is truly a mess

life is truly a mess isnt it. well it is certainly is for me. now i have to get back to work. in my father's absense, it would be certainly hectic to control the workers and get the job done. it certainly is. and of course i would be back climbing floors and walking down those stairs. dam it would certainly be tiring. well i certainly had a great day la today, which by the way is tuesday. even though the morning was abit hectic with helping my mother spring the house abit in preparations for CNY. ooohhhh boy, i dunno how this CNY would be as there would be more people coming this CNY. and it will be held in my house. a house pack with people. certainly and then off i went to meet up with pragash, chris, amir and a few of their frens before fendi came by to join us in our DOTA.

hahahaha boy was it certainly a long day of dota. wont be playing it for awhile dats for certain. and then i was bumped to find out Adi Burger is closed for the holiday today. dam it. i come all the way to eat that famous delicious burger but only to find out it is closed. haihz. ended up eating indo mee for dinner before pragash, amir, fendi and i continued for a 2nd round of dota. before we left at around 10.

then back i am here to blog about it. oohhhh hows my life recently. well it kinda messy as i cant really remember how i live my life these pass week. well its ok la. life goes on.

hahahaha .... welll nowdays kinda losing my appetite ... sooo just eat wat i feel like eating and if dun feel like eating then dun eat lor ....

alright guys .... wanna say love u guys ..... MUAACCKKKKKKZZZZ =p

posted by Elwyn at 11:27 PM | 2 comments

Saturday, January 07, 2006

Its ok, its ok!

well thank you everyone for their concern. i m ok now. feeling better after a stupid movie. 'a chinese tall story' really idiotic and funny and nice graphics. well thanks everyone.

and oohhhh .... i still havent gotten around to cleaning my flithy room.

and oohhhh im just plain lazy.

soooo plz just have to settle with some short post for now.

posted by Elwyn at 1:21 AM | 4 comments

Friday, January 06, 2006

Not a good day for me.

loss of appetite. after my breakfast. after eating chee cheong fun. i didnt really eat anymore other than some lay's potato chips for a late lunch, and also for my late dinner. didnt eat much. just drank 3 bottles of Yakult, and also a glass of milo ice. thats about it.

really aint got the mood. dunno why. sorry.

posted by Elwyn at 12:23 AM | 3 comments

Thursday, January 05, 2006

SORRY !!!

sorry i got no updates.

sorry i didnt clean up my room for me to update my blog after.

sorry i went out with my fren instead of cleaning up my room.

sorry im just not in the mood now.

sorry i am not happy at the moment either.

sorry dat i am having my fucked up mood swings.

sorry i just dunno wat else to say.

sorry is the only thing i can say now.

sorry for this is a short post.

sorry everyone.

posted by Elwyn at 11:05 AM | 3 comments

Wednesday, January 04, 2006

Aiyaya, why am i sooo lazy.

sorry guys, been really busy doing unnecessary stuff here at home. neither did i go to work. maybe i should start by cleaning up my room. both my rooms. my computer room and my room. where should i start ??? my room or computer room ??

well anyhow, i wanna blog about a whole bunch of stuff but i need to clean up my rooms 1st i guess. cant linger too long in fornt of the computer.

soo till then. love you guys ....... MUUAAAKKKKKKZZZZZZ =P

posted by Elwyn at 12:13 AM | 3 comments

Sunday, January 01, 2006

a post for my longest post ever bcos of the pics as well

well well , it is best to read my blog in internet explorer. for those who have slow line, please bear with the slow pics. and if the pics doesnt show, wat u can do is to click on the "Go" button which is on the right side of the address of my blog. sorry for the inconvinience.

posted by Elwyn at 2:27 PM | 1 comments