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lost dreams

My name is MaS,
and i have yet to grow,
from my adolescent state,
to wat many call as a mature adult,
though i am no longer a teen by age,
thy shall act like a kid,
but only for a certain time,
or risk facing trouble thats shit,
im no longer a kid,
im no longer a teen,
but could i still act as one,
for the fun of it.

Life, is shit, and shit is life, and this is how h eruns his life. Life is unfair and so is he, he harden his soul to create a emotionless spree. He is soo lame he is soo quiet, but that is how he is. He is all vulgar and also disgusting, but he is who he is and not like other. He holds a principle, based on his soul, its always changing with the flow of time. The growth is there but it isn't obvious because the life he's in is so damn troublesome. He may seem all nice, he may seem like a pushover, but never try his limit or you'll face his anger. His life is tough, and he knows others too have it tough, but everyone is different and they should never be compared. Comparison kill his spirit, comparison killed his mind, it is as though it is no more his but rather it is others. He is disturbingly disturbed and sometimes extremely the extreme, but this is rare as its a rare phenomenon. He is nothing but a fool indeed, living thru this life with all he got. His life seems awful, but it is to him alone, he wouldn't understand others as how others wouldn't understand him. Thank you so much for reading this shit, as it means alot for his stuff to be read.


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Sunday, April 23, 2006

Blogging, or Work ??? blogging it is then !!

hehehehe, sorry for the lack of updates feeling pretty crappy now. ahhh, i would like to blgo at the moment while i wait for the laudry to be finished, then i can go n dry them out from the washing machine. ahhhhhh my life is quite fun isnt it ..... NOT !!!! but hey, at least im making thru life so far. had some issues with sue, but settled n we make up after settling the issue. of course i love her. hahahaha, i spend quite a fair bit of my time with her, and in 2nd place would be my comp. without her, oh dam i would have broken down like a car dropped from the top of the petronas twin tower. dam would dat be nice to see. a car to be dropped from dat height. im guessing the car woud go crash boom bangs ..... hahahaha crash into the ground, explode with a boom, and some after initial boom explosion of bangs ..... hahahahaha the car would certainly be deemed useless.

ahhhhhhh life is full of shit, dam it i've been procrastinating a hell of alot of stuff. but maybe bcos i forgot about them. dam i shud be like the girls .... keeping a little book dat would hold all the information i need to do about my life. ahhhh talking about dat, i have to burn some songs into my comp 1st. got a few cds from a fren. hehehehe chinese songsto be exact. it is soo bad for me to listen to chinese songs. i sometimes do love their beats

ahhhh ahhhhh, life is just pissing ppl of lately. really, sue's dog has just passed, my condolences. but now without the dog, paranoia hits the family. about saafety of course. ahhhh safety ....

anywayz, dam my life is plain boring, hahahaha im sooo plain n ordinary, i dun even show up on the radar. the only thing dat keeps me a lil visible on the radar is my long and freakingly ugly hair. hell of alot of ppl r bugging me to bloody cut me hair. leave my hair alone dam it. i wan it long, even though i am freaking ugly. so be it. sorry if i do make ur eyes sore, but bear with me. or if u dun wan to bear with me, then go away la ....

hahahaha oi my hair is better than last year ok, at least i had it chemically straighten or as my aunt calls it relaxing the hair, it looks better ok. last time guarantee afro wan,but now ehh better ... hahahahahahhaa

really being crappy here. listening to my chemical romance for awhile, but gonna listen to shakira's n wyclef jean hips dont lie. hehehehehe ... dam i like the tune.

ara ara, my mother's comp which i whipped up from my old parts is running super slow, as a result i guess i shud get her 1GB ram .... a little present for her ? hahaha yeah do something for her. she uses her comp, for her work and sometimes to send email. but i have to get her a sound card. she wans to watch some movies on it.

ahhhhh, "lil" boring me is really bad at communication, but hey, im surviving. my network in sunway has definately limited, and even if i am mixing with this bunch of frens. im still not really considered a close fren to them. nvm la .... used to it already. i have a bad rep in VU, so many dont really trust me. cant blame them though. guess im alone in my work n stuff. but i do get some help, and for dat im extremely thankful,bcos without their help i would certainlly be in deep shit. im in deepshit as it is now, trying to catch up, but a lil slow. ahhhhh but i will try harder, assignments due date is closing in, presentation is gonna be tough (i stutter like hell, and shivering all over including my knees). well, i will try myt best, gonna try to push myself to my limit now, n then see how i fare in this sem. if i am able to keep myself at a good rate, then i shall try to push it even further. ahhhhhhhhhhhh

ooohhhhh my post is getting longer. i guessing the clothes shud be done, plus my hands is shivering quite badly, sooo im gonna go hang those clothes. im truly weak, physically and mentally, i hope i can pull thru. i certainly couldnt have make it this far without sue. she is the parachute dat keeps me from crashing really dam badly, and she is the cushion dat helps me bounce back, even though it is a little, the bounce is wat i need to pull thru in life.

ahhhh ok dats about it for now, i busy busy with bloody assignments and some other stuff. alright time to leavethis blogging now. see ya ....

12 Comments:

  • "i have a bad rep in VU, so many dont really trust me"??? Huh? Why? Are u sure it's not in your head???

    Hey hey, we can work out together la... i'm also getting fat! I saw my thigh today and man did it look horrible! I took a photo of it.

    And... =) i really didn't expect u to write so much about me! Almost made me cry man! Hahah

    "even though it is a little, the bounce is wat i need to pull thru in life."... =) i was afraid i'm useless...

    By Blogger Sue Lin, at Sun Apr 23, 02:11:00 PM  

  • sue, yeah, bad rep, as a copier, like a photo copier. n everyone spread the news wan. so i dun really have a chance la.

    reading ur comment made me almost wanted to cry too. well we will certainly need to work out then. but i really need to go shopping .....

    By Blogger Elwyn, at Sun Apr 23, 05:13:00 PM  

  • Elwyn! pics! show us yr new relaxed hair eh.

    Sue Lin... like it relaxed or afro/

    By Blogger She's Jess, at Sun Apr 23, 05:34:00 PM  

  • jess, well th relaxed hair was like last year. since then it had grown a little. but ppl still hate my hair ... soo im trying to tell them ... if i didnt relaxed it then ... my hair would certainly be extremely ugly ... even sue lin knows it ....

    but hey ... this is wat ppl think .... ohh sue likes it after it is relaxed .. i look much better after it was relaxed

    By Blogger Elwyn, at Sun Apr 23, 06:31:00 PM  

  • Oh... yeah, u do do that, don't u? Well u can never copy forever, they eventually got sick of u... Didn't u realize that? Wish i warned u... =( I'm so sorry...

    Try to make up for it la... please try doing more work... discussing with them stuff u dun understand would surely be ok... just dun copy blindly n entirely...

    If it's THAT bad u can start apologising... U know admit ur wrong n stuff... or If u change they would give u a chance wan...

    Please just do something, i can't bear to see u feel this way...

    And u always grumble about not being close 2 ppl... if u wanna be close have 2 talk to them more... talk to them more la, n dun wait till they are online only u start talking. I know u are more of an online person... but still... TRY man!!


    I dunno, when i see u, i just see the guy i love! =)

    Err... relaxed is better of cuz. But with gel / the wet look is the best of all larrrr. Hehe. There's one of these in my Friendster pix! =) Wishhhhed i took more man!!!! =(

    By Blogger Sue Lin, at Sun Apr 23, 09:33:00 PM  

  • sue, well i've replied u on msn .. hope dat would do

    By Blogger Elwyn, at Mon Apr 24, 12:22:00 AM  

  • Sue Lin said everything I wanted to say (the parts about apologizing to ur coursemates and talking to them more) :)

    I think I preferred ur afro hair. Really. At least more gaya. Hu-hu

    By Blogger Jocelyn, at Mon Apr 24, 08:43:00 PM  

  • Thanks Joey.

    Why u tell her but never tell me one?

    By Blogger Sue Lin, at Mon Apr 24, 10:29:00 PM  

  • Huh? Who?

    By Blogger Jocelyn, at Tue Apr 25, 12:57:00 PM  

  • joey, well thanks for ur concern ... it seems dat sue lin misunderstood ur comment, caused a problem for quite a fair bit till i clear it out with her face to face ..... thanks for ur concern joey.

    afro hair ??? serious ar ?? hahahaha, much much more ppl were hating the afro hair do ....

    By Blogger Elwyn, at Tue Apr 25, 07:13:00 PM  

  • Misunderstood my comment? How is tat even possible? Erm...hope I didn't cause any big trouble

    anwyayz, it looked ok when it was shorter and messier, really afro. As it grew, then not so nice d

    By Blogger Jocelyn, at Tue Apr 25, 08:56:00 PM  

  • Yeah, i misunderstood it. Sorry!

    Joey, Dun worry k? U did nothing wrong! =) It's just me! Stupid me. N him of cuz! =P Sorted out d.

    But i hope u (
    mas) really would try to do what u said u'd try.

    By Blogger Sue Lin, at Tue Apr 25, 09:04:00 PM  

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