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lost dreams

My name is MaS,
and i have yet to grow,
from my adolescent state,
to wat many call as a mature adult,
though i am no longer a teen by age,
thy shall act like a kid,
but only for a certain time,
or risk facing trouble thats shit,
im no longer a kid,
im no longer a teen,
but could i still act as one,
for the fun of it.

Life, is shit, and shit is life, and this is how h eruns his life. Life is unfair and so is he, he harden his soul to create a emotionless spree. He is soo lame he is soo quiet, but that is how he is. He is all vulgar and also disgusting, but he is who he is and not like other. He holds a principle, based on his soul, its always changing with the flow of time. The growth is there but it isn't obvious because the life he's in is so damn troublesome. He may seem all nice, he may seem like a pushover, but never try his limit or you'll face his anger. His life is tough, and he knows others too have it tough, but everyone is different and they should never be compared. Comparison kill his spirit, comparison killed his mind, it is as though it is no more his but rather it is others. He is disturbingly disturbed and sometimes extremely the extreme, but this is rare as its a rare phenomenon. He is nothing but a fool indeed, living thru this life with all he got. His life seems awful, but it is to him alone, he wouldn't understand others as how others wouldn't understand him. Thank you so much for reading this shit, as it means alot for his stuff to be read.


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Sunday, April 30, 2006

Me DULL .... So Ur Already Warn

ooohhhhhhhhh halo halo, this is another continuation of my dull life. well actually not really dat dull. you see, my father uses msn and uses it quite often. sooo he saw my nick saying dat i was deprived of sleep and saying dat no matter how much i sleep, i cant stay awake. actually i cant stay awake in class and while studying. is it bcos my brain goes into shutdown mode during dat time or is it suppose to be hibernate or sleep ??? ok ok enuf of my nick. sooo my father talked to me about it, and he told me to eat half of a sleeping pill to help me sleep better. ok soo i did dat last nite, but still i woke up before my alarm clock went off. yes i did set the alarm clock cos i have 1 tutorial at 9.30 till 10.30. sooo i think i woke up at 7 but went back to sleep for awhile but only to wake up to the ringing of my alarm. of course this time i didnt wake up on the dot like the usual but felt like i didnt had much energy in me or rather not in the mood to wake up n turn my alarm off. ahhhh but my father did try to help me. sooo accepted his help.

oohhhhhhh i dun really wanna talk about my life. i have sooo many things undone, and i know if i do talk about it someone would get pretty pissed about it. but hey, my life is pretty redundant. my life is like any other university student only dat i dun really have much of a life. a summary of my life.

im sleep deprived, im weak, im growing fat at my belly, im keeping long hair which by the way is ugly, im growing some hair on my face, im trying to be different but failed miserably, im just sooooo much of an antisocial (not really sure yet, but figuring it is true), oohhhh im growing ______ ...... hahahhaha just trying to make a joke, but those who knows kows. which i think only 1 person, if she knows la. hehehe. ara ara, dats about it lor. wow isnt dat just miserable.

sooo this is the redundant life of MaS. rather have redundant life or a super exciting life filled with all kind of good n bad shit ???

hahaha .... dats about it ....

posted by Elwyn at 7:38 PM | 0 comments

Sunday, April 23, 2006

Blogging, or Work ??? blogging it is then !!

hehehehe, sorry for the lack of updates feeling pretty crappy now. ahhh, i would like to blgo at the moment while i wait for the laudry to be finished, then i can go n dry them out from the washing machine. ahhhhhh my life is quite fun isnt it ..... NOT !!!! but hey, at least im making thru life so far. had some issues with sue, but settled n we make up after settling the issue. of course i love her. hahahaha, i spend quite a fair bit of my time with her, and in 2nd place would be my comp. without her, oh dam i would have broken down like a car dropped from the top of the petronas twin tower. dam would dat be nice to see. a car to be dropped from dat height. im guessing the car woud go crash boom bangs ..... hahahaha crash into the ground, explode with a boom, and some after initial boom explosion of bangs ..... hahahahaha the car would certainly be deemed useless.

ahhhhhhh life is full of shit, dam it i've been procrastinating a hell of alot of stuff. but maybe bcos i forgot about them. dam i shud be like the girls .... keeping a little book dat would hold all the information i need to do about my life. ahhhh talking about dat, i have to burn some songs into my comp 1st. got a few cds from a fren. hehehehe chinese songsto be exact. it is soo bad for me to listen to chinese songs. i sometimes do love their beats

ahhhh ahhhhh, life is just pissing ppl of lately. really, sue's dog has just passed, my condolences. but now without the dog, paranoia hits the family. about saafety of course. ahhhh safety ....

anywayz, dam my life is plain boring, hahahaha im sooo plain n ordinary, i dun even show up on the radar. the only thing dat keeps me a lil visible on the radar is my long and freakingly ugly hair. hell of alot of ppl r bugging me to bloody cut me hair. leave my hair alone dam it. i wan it long, even though i am freaking ugly. so be it. sorry if i do make ur eyes sore, but bear with me. or if u dun wan to bear with me, then go away la ....

hahahaha oi my hair is better than last year ok, at least i had it chemically straighten or as my aunt calls it relaxing the hair, it looks better ok. last time guarantee afro wan,but now ehh better ... hahahahahahhaa

really being crappy here. listening to my chemical romance for awhile, but gonna listen to shakira's n wyclef jean hips dont lie. hehehehehe ... dam i like the tune.

ara ara, my mother's comp which i whipped up from my old parts is running super slow, as a result i guess i shud get her 1GB ram .... a little present for her ? hahaha yeah do something for her. she uses her comp, for her work and sometimes to send email. but i have to get her a sound card. she wans to watch some movies on it.

ahhhhh, "lil" boring me is really bad at communication, but hey, im surviving. my network in sunway has definately limited, and even if i am mixing with this bunch of frens. im still not really considered a close fren to them. nvm la .... used to it already. i have a bad rep in VU, so many dont really trust me. cant blame them though. guess im alone in my work n stuff. but i do get some help, and for dat im extremely thankful,bcos without their help i would certainlly be in deep shit. im in deepshit as it is now, trying to catch up, but a lil slow. ahhhhh but i will try harder, assignments due date is closing in, presentation is gonna be tough (i stutter like hell, and shivering all over including my knees). well, i will try myt best, gonna try to push myself to my limit now, n then see how i fare in this sem. if i am able to keep myself at a good rate, then i shall try to push it even further. ahhhhhhhhhhhh

ooohhhhh my post is getting longer. i guessing the clothes shud be done, plus my hands is shivering quite badly, sooo im gonna go hang those clothes. im truly weak, physically and mentally, i hope i can pull thru. i certainly couldnt have make it this far without sue. she is the parachute dat keeps me from crashing really dam badly, and she is the cushion dat helps me bounce back, even though it is a little, the bounce is wat i need to pull thru in life.

ahhhh ok dats about it for now, i busy busy with bloody assignments and some other stuff. alright time to leavethis blogging now. see ya ....

posted by Elwyn at 11:28 AM | 12 comments

Sunday, April 16, 2006

A feel to trash !!!

i have always felt like trashing people. hahahaha but i would never be able to build up the guts to do so. shall i build myself up? hahahaha i should get alot of opinions about a gym and working out. hehhehe, now monash is having a week break. so no car pooling and i have my car back. hahaha sent it in for a good service, and also for balancing and alignment. weeeheee !!! ohh dam i forgot to put in the oil dat i bought for my car. argghh, nvm i'll get to it after this. i know this blog isnt much to look at, but hey this is my blog, hehehehehe.

well sickness is over but there was a blister in my mouth which only subsided recently. dam was it big and it looked like it had puss (nanah in bm la i dun really know how to spell it in english, since my english is not dat powderful) . hhehehehehe now im sooo used to sleeping so late and waking up sooo late. dam i would certainly miss it. but actually i didnt really wake up dat late also la, unless u consider 8 or 9 as late. but today on sunday i woke up at 10 since i slept at 2. hehehehe actually i was kinda awake at around 9 but i continued to sleep on hehehe.

now it is time to push push push myself towards the end. i am super super super charged (i guess). since this week im not car pooling i might as well stay back and try new methods of studying since the old normal method isnt working at all. arrgghhhh i gotta find some new methods on the net to boost myself up. but im guessing i would be alone after 3.30 tomoro unless i stay with those marketing students. but im guessing dat i need something to boost me soo might as well begin my search of new study methods. hahahaha i sound so motivated doesnt it? well i certainly i do. i just realized something about my life. "Don't ask for it, go all out and win it, you do just that and you will be rewarded". that is a line dat i recently catch my from myanime, it has really brought me up in spirit. this is the power of my animes. that particular line os from Eureka 7 a beautiful anime. hehehehe soooooo im going all out. gambatte !!!! yeah yeah !!!!!

hehehehe life is soooo dull, lets try to spice it up !!! hahahahaha ..... well life for me n sue has been pretty ok. life has been throwing blows at us in our life, our personal life. but why not we push on and kick the hell out of life and get the most out of it. dun fret and dun ask why things are like that, they are like that and so we need to overcome it by kicking it in the fucked up ass !!! yeeee haaaaa time to kick butt.

since im no more in holiday i have to kick ass as well. sooo let me go out and kick some fucked up asses. hahahaha since there isnt much readers here, sooo im blurting out a hell load of stuff.

hhahahahaha not like this, but nowadays i cant really bothered by wat ppl think about me already (but sometimes i do think about it,but i try not to be bothered by it). life is gonna be rough and tough especially for me, but wat else can i do but to hang on and fight on. hahahahaha
well, enuf already im blurting out alot of useless bunch of stuff.

thanks for coming and reading this bunch of shit but hey this shit is mine. hahahaha

love you guys out there for coming here !!!

MUUUUAAAACCCCCKKKKKKZZZZZZ =p

posted by Elwyn at 12:39 PM | 2 comments

Tuesday, April 11, 2006

Flying? Driving? Running? Crying? Dying?

ahhhhh i know i've been a bad bad boy. yeah i havent been blogging for awhile. despite all dat, im here now, even though i have a veru hard to explain pain in the head. well, it goes to show that i've been in front of the computer screen for too long. hahahaha truly something extraordinary i would say. for myself dat is. well, u see i had just reformated my other computer earlier which was yesterday and my computer today. reformating my other comp was nothing compared to my comp. well u see, on my comp there are alot more stuff to install. and not long after i reformated my comp did i realize dat almost all my files in my F drive was completely unaccessable (meaning dat the data is corrupt). this had happen to me before with my anime drive quite awhile ago. n i think i blogged abut it. but this time, its even worse !!!!!

you guys must be wondering why it is worse leh. well it is far worse why because ........ it is my tv series and movie drive (yes i organize my downloads in such ways). soooo it was an extensive collection of tv series there i had inside. wanna know how much. well a near 80GB of tv series and movies inside. im guessing dat u all out there must be surprised to hear such a big amount eh. well u see, the stuff dat i had inside that drive was :

  • season 1 till half of season 7 of Malcolm in The Middle
  • an almost completely downloaded of Battlestar Galactica for 2 seasons
  • Basic Instinct (a classic)
  • Brokeback Mountain (quite a recent download)
  • near 10 episodes of the latest season 2 desperate housewives
  • a halfway done(meaning halfway being downloaded) season 1 to season 5 of Futurama
  • around 6 latest episodes for House M.D.
  • another near 10 latests episodes of Lost season 2
  • Friends season 9 and season 10(finale)
  • The Pink Panther movie
  • the final 6 episodes of Stargate SG1 season 9 which is the 2nd last season meaning season 10 will be the season finale (truly i cant wait to get it)
  • and of course The Girl Next Door movie
the only survivor of this onslaught would be the season 7 of Charmed. i guess i better burn it into a dvd b4 i reformat this drive. a sad sad thing for me as i have to redownload the enormous amount of stuff but of course with priority now. Futurama must be 1st,because it has an outstanding size of 12.5GB. isnt dat big !!! well it certainly is.

ahhh finally dat is off my chest .... lets move on to another topic, boy was i pissed at myself for getting sick at the most wrongest (i created dat word so sue me) time ever. well assignment was due, and i had planned a gathering with AUSMAT frens. dam it was a bummer for me to not be able to stay there long enuf n enjoy the company. sadly, i had a crappy nose who wouldnt stop running, and was even flying. the term flying came to me when the fact that my overflowing mucus began to fly not in a small amount but in a huge disgusting lump of clear mucus right accross the air and onto any misfortunate place it would land on. of course i had this early in the morning when i was still at home. it was certainly a burden and hell for me to go through that. and of course me running around like a bloody fool trying to finish my darn assignment under such conditions. and i think i used nearly 8 packets of tissue wiping my darn nose. oohhh dat doesnt include the trips i made to the loo to clear my nostrils. boy was i sad to leave the gathering, but i had to. it is because my nose was in too much pain, and the only way i know dat could stop my nose from running would be lying down. ahhhhh it was a really sad sad time for me.

well, dat was friday, by saturday, i had a fever, a slight 1 in the morning. i did my usual rituals in the morning (my computer) but found myself too tired after 2 hours and my eyes even felt like it was crying and soooo i went back to sleep. later i found myself to be slightly hotter than b4. i soon realized dat i had to sweat it out to break my fever,but unfortunately i couldnt, despite having the fan turned off and me being wrapped in a comforter. ahhh, certainly weird isnt it? well later dat night i wanted to have a good dinner so went to milwaukee to eat with 2 frens of mine. but later only to find out dat my stomach couldnt take it, and by then my fever has worsen. why my stomach couldnt take it was because if i were to take in another mouthful of my favourite spaghetti cabonara, i would certainly have puked all over the place. dat was how bad my condition was. i had to rest, and since i drove over to my frens place, i rested at his place for awhile so dat i could regain my strength to drive n to overcome the extreme discomfort in my stomach. i certainly felt like i was dying. wow really really bad wei. oohhh did i mention, dat i was home alone. soo dat meant that on sat i was alone and had no one to take care of me, fending for myself which included taking care of my breakfast n lunch. wonderful isnt it ??

well, anywayz, im better already, by sunday morning my fever broke but i was soaking wet in sweat. soo now i am slowly healing n heading towards the path of a healthier me. hehehehe im guessing dat this post is rather boring isnt it? i read quite a few blogs, my blog can never fight against them soo i just gave up n just blog like how i would like to, dat is for myself, which also means for me to keep track of myself .... like the list of my corrupted shows. well, i guess this is about the end of this post.

soooo i guess until next time (which i hope isnt dat far from now), take carez and have a good time. love you guys out there for reading this. ur presence here makes my day ....

MUUUUAAAAACCCCCKKKKKZZZZZZZ =p

posted by Elwyn at 1:01 AM | 1 comments

Sunday, April 02, 2006

Return after absence

well well, its been how long since i last blogged ???? seriously its been awhile hasnt it. well firstly i would to point out, i saw 2 different, uhhh how would you call them ??? oohhh men with authority for i would call them. is it ??? well i saw 2 police guys, and i saw a team of fire fighters. and i saw them in 2 days in a row. why do you say. well i'll tell u guys why la.

hehehehe, well it goes something like this i saw 2 police guys on a sat night bcos my fren, well he drive pass a red light for a pedestrian walk, at 10 pm. then the police followed us and called my fren to pull over, and he was given a traffic summon. haihz isnt dat bad, it was after a charity dinner you see. seriously it wasnt a good day. for him la. and then when i got back i heard my cat El2 crying and i went searching for her only to find her stuck on the neighbours roof. there isnt anybody at the house cos it was an empty house. my father and i tried all sort of stuff to get her back into the house. we gave up that night n tried on the sunday morning. n then we failed yet again. and soooo we decided to ask whether the fire brigade department would help us. we went to the fire department near leisure mall and ask them. sooo later they came by and help me get to her n i took her down. not really all the way but i was there to calm her down. anywayz dats my story anywayz. short n nice.

anywayz, life is a bitch, sooo many problems such as assignments, haihz, why am i sooo lazy to do them anywayz im really just a pig to sleep n play soo much. haihz a sad case.

anywayz gotta do most of my AIS assignment by today so that i can get my references tomoro n then fill in the missing spaces in my assignment and then i'll be done for it. but that is shit.... i totally forgot that tomoro i have a MA test. dam it, nvm try to do some later on. haihz haihz, ok enuf of this time to get to work ....

and soo dat is all from me .... it would be awhile till my next post .... till then ....

love you guys out there reading this shit .....

MUUUUAAAACCCCCKKKKKKZZZZZZZ =p

posted by Elwyn at 4:10 PM | 3 comments