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lost dreams

My name is MaS,
and i have yet to grow,
from my adolescent state,
to wat many call as a mature adult,
though i am no longer a teen by age,
thy shall act like a kid,
but only for a certain time,
or risk facing trouble thats shit,
im no longer a kid,
im no longer a teen,
but could i still act as one,
for the fun of it.

Life, is shit, and shit is life, and this is how h eruns his life. Life is unfair and so is he, he harden his soul to create a emotionless spree. He is soo lame he is soo quiet, but that is how he is. He is all vulgar and also disgusting, but he is who he is and not like other. He holds a principle, based on his soul, its always changing with the flow of time. The growth is there but it isn't obvious because the life he's in is so damn troublesome. He may seem all nice, he may seem like a pushover, but never try his limit or you'll face his anger. His life is tough, and he knows others too have it tough, but everyone is different and they should never be compared. Comparison kill his spirit, comparison killed his mind, it is as though it is no more his but rather it is others. He is disturbingly disturbed and sometimes extremely the extreme, but this is rare as its a rare phenomenon. He is nothing but a fool indeed, living thru this life with all he got. His life seems awful, but it is to him alone, he wouldn't understand others as how others wouldn't understand him. Thank you so much for reading this shit, as it means alot for his stuff to be read.


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Saturday, May 21, 2005

wow wow wow ...... soo long no blog ....

hahaha ... sorry guys for the very late update ... being me ..... i had been bz ... here n there .... abit ...... of course ..... there isnt anymore cooking experiences for me to share with u guys la ..... cos ..... i dun cook dat much ..... anywayz ..... i know too few dishes to talk about them ... since the others seems like super simple dishes to cook ...... sooo ... .wazzup y'all ..... ahhhhh .. sadly ..... there was a ausmat gang gathering at 15 ...... but .... i couldnt go .. since i alreay paid to go for the VU nite thingy ...... n hey ..... even though it was at the same place ..... n not much place to move around ..... i must comment dat the food was much much better than last year .... seriously speaking ..... there were a small bunch of us ausmat gang at the VU nite ..... since they r not close with the other gang whom i was talking about ..... but hey ..... at least i got to see mr Tee ..... my business stats lecturer sing a classical chinese song ...... he was like ... omg .... haiya ... an experience of a lifetime ..... got sum photos of him la .... but mind u .... i dun have a camera .. i borrowed from my beloved .... since i also kinda ..... like tied my hair ......

well ..... VU nite was boring ..... since i sat alone with strangers .... dam sad rite ..... but hey .... so was michelle mcguire .... yeah many of u wouldnt know who she is anywayz ........ but she got la talk abit to the others on her table .... ahh .. yeah .. her table is close to mine .... soo ... haiya ... she also like not in the good mood also .... soo leave her alone lor .... hahahahah ....anywayz ... like dat lor .... pay RM 75 .... for the forgot-how-many-course dinner n the performance ..... ok la .... aint dat bad ..... yeah yeah .... anywayz .... dats how it goes la ... took several pics ... with girls yet again ... but bcos this time the camera was running out of battery .... i took pics with girls ...... guys aint dat important .... yeah yeah ..... hehehehe ..... soooo .... dats how it goes .... n then left for home .... ahhh .....

this past week hasnt been such a good week for me either ... i feel like my good luck is going away .... n now alot more of bad luck ....... n im pretty much down .... since i failed at cooking .... yet again ..... haihz ..... this time worse .... since my mother scolded me like shit ..... not really dat bad la ...... but she really brought me down ...... actually was cooking sum hashbrown .... n it was suppose to be easy .... but i burnt it .... yeah .... there was 1 part dat was black ..... n she totally said all the things i didnt wanted to hear ...... haihz .... sadnyer ...... how i wish i could eat my heavenly cabonara soon .... but .... cant do dat ..... no money problem ..... very tiu up ...... shit le ... soo now .... im eating ferraro rocher .... but the wafer inside already masuk angin for breakfast ...... i dun give a fuck anymore ..... hate it when my mother in bad moood ...... really screws up my day as well ..... like she cares ..... n there u have it ...... 1 of the greatest reasons y i dun wan to eat at home ...... she'll always bad mouth .... about sum stuff here ... n there ... n if she is in a foul mood ..... she can really fuck up my appetite ..... sooo ..... dats the reason y i dun feel like eating at home ...... i know its bad ..... cos family is important n stuff ...... but .... i dunno la .... maybe ... i just dun understand my mother ....... like she dun understand me ..... soo .. i leave her to her world .... n she leave me to mine ...... as much as we could i guess ......

sooo ... there u go .... a confession about y im such a fucking dumbass .... n yeah i will never go to heaven ... dats for sure ..... since ppl always say ... heaven is at the feet of ur mother ....... yeap .... i shall end up in hell ....... n i think dats y im dam stupid u know ..... s she always calls me dat also ..... haihz ..... sad sad ...... dun give a fuck man ..... life sucks .... n there u go ....... but i try to make the best out of it ..... they still provide me shelter n food n money .... soo ... i just respect them for dat ...... just follow wat they wan me to do ...... yeah yeah ... i know im a sad case idiot ..... soo .... there u go .... another confession of how stupid i have become over the years .... with the cursing of my mother ....

yeah .. i know dat all of u who r reading this would say im a fucking bad son .... n so be it ... i m a terrible son ..... im a fucked up son ...... say watever u wan guys .... i dun mind .... cos this is my blog .... n im not in the mood for cheery stuff ..... soo .. there wouldnt be any good things to talk about ..... yeap ......

i let my stupidity rule the best of me ..... cos .... dats how ..... i shud be ..... i wonder if anyone of u feel like killing me ..... or doing any of dat sort ??? if u do ... plz inform me ..... i'll gladly hear it ......

anywayz ... this is MaS .... whining sadly ..... on this pathetic blog of mine .....

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