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lost dreams

My name is MaS,
and i have yet to grow,
from my adolescent state,
to wat many call as a mature adult,
though i am no longer a teen by age,
thy shall act like a kid,
but only for a certain time,
or risk facing trouble thats shit,
im no longer a kid,
im no longer a teen,
but could i still act as one,
for the fun of it.

Life, is shit, and shit is life, and this is how h eruns his life. Life is unfair and so is he, he harden his soul to create a emotionless spree. He is soo lame he is soo quiet, but that is how he is. He is all vulgar and also disgusting, but he is who he is and not like other. He holds a principle, based on his soul, its always changing with the flow of time. The growth is there but it isn't obvious because the life he's in is so damn troublesome. He may seem all nice, he may seem like a pushover, but never try his limit or you'll face his anger. His life is tough, and he knows others too have it tough, but everyone is different and they should never be compared. Comparison kill his spirit, comparison killed his mind, it is as though it is no more his but rather it is others. He is disturbingly disturbed and sometimes extremely the extreme, but this is rare as its a rare phenomenon. He is nothing but a fool indeed, living thru this life with all he got. His life seems awful, but it is to him alone, he wouldn't understand others as how others wouldn't understand him. Thank you so much for reading this shit, as it means alot for his stuff to be read.


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Sunday, May 15, 2005

ahhh .... life ...

ahhh ..... dam sick n tired of uni liao lor .... assignments like shit ..... well ... at least can try to finish wat i can do .... but today im suppose to reorganize my stuff ..... n i gotta finish my spss work ..... dam it ..... haihz .. dam sad ..... nvm la .... life is fillied with challenges ..... wat can do rite ..... all i can say is dat ..... i have to change my windscreen soon cos of a bloody crack ...... haihz ..... really fucked up isnt it ...... well .... i have to remember n tell my parents about it ...... i guess i go now la .... be back again to blog again .....

ahh .. back after telling n breakfast n drying out sum clothes .... not clothes la .... its "kain lap kaki" ..... how to say it in english ar ???? doormat ??? leg wiping cloth ???? dunno ....... anywayz .... wat can say .... ahhh yes .... later im cooking "lou shi fun" yet again ...... hahahha .... this time ... frying with all my heart .... cos invited me beloved to eat also .... but also with my father la .... cos ... the amount of "lou shi fun" is meant for 3 ppl .... n my mom going out for llunch with her frens ... sooo .... i tot of her to come n try out my cooking ...... yeah yeah ... MY COOKING ...... me rock .... rock the kuali la ... hahahahah ......

anywayz ..... its been awhile since i last cook ..... ahhh .... gotta prepare later ... but 1st .. clean up sum places 1st ..... really need cleaning ..... haihz ... yes .... no maid ... soo .. weekends i have to help clean ..... abit .... yes admit im dam freaking lazy .... always get scolded by my mother ..... soo ... wat can do .... just do wat i can do la ..... ahhh ... now my workload has increased from reorganising my stuff n doing my spss .... to ..... reorganising , spss , cooking , mopping the floor, clear up 2 rooms ....... wow ..... oohhh yeah ... later i have to go wash my car also .... omg ..... luckily i drank a cup of homemade neslo ice ..... hahahaha ..... sooo ... lets keep the muisic on .... n rock this house ....... hehehehe .... n as it was said ... miss joey has gone off for hols .... in bali .... nice ..... no wonder her darling like soo bored ..... hahaha ..... nothing much to worry there ....

anywayz ..... 1 more freaking month till the final exam for the 4 subjects im taking in VU .... dam it ..... didnt study yet ..... dunno when can start ..... dam scared wei ...... really ... its scary ...... anywayz ..... just depending on notes ..... from lecturers ... maybe read abit of the text book ..... n then gotta label my law text book ... it will be brought into the exam hall ... YES ... open book test .... but yet .. can fail wan .... but .... wat i wan is .... pass ... dun wan to retake the subjects .... or else my parents kill me ..... as it already is .... financial crisis .... soo ..... i MUST pass the final exam .... to pass the subject ..... ahhh ... soo .. gotta start studying ..... but lazy .... n my brain isnt sponge .... its hard rock ..... nothing can be absorbed .... dats y need hardcore studying .... ahhh ..... lately been cursing alot more than usual .... hahahaha .....i dunno y .... but ...... seems like quite a number of ppl getting offended ... soo ... me trying to cut down ..... ahhh nvm .....

ok .... now ... for the ending ..... it is time to start my work for the day ..... i know by the end of the day ... i will be worn out .... really worn out ....... dats wat i expect la .... soooo ... letthe torture begins ...... ohhh ... im working topless ... except when cooking ... cos can get burnt ..... no kidding .... y le .... im topless ... cos its hot la ...... freaking hot day ....

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