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lost dreams

My name is MaS,
and i have yet to grow,
from my adolescent state,
to wat many call as a mature adult,
though i am no longer a teen by age,
thy shall act like a kid,
but only for a certain time,
or risk facing trouble thats shit,
im no longer a kid,
im no longer a teen,
but could i still act as one,
for the fun of it.

Life, is shit, and shit is life, and this is how h eruns his life. Life is unfair and so is he, he harden his soul to create a emotionless spree. He is soo lame he is soo quiet, but that is how he is. He is all vulgar and also disgusting, but he is who he is and not like other. He holds a principle, based on his soul, its always changing with the flow of time. The growth is there but it isn't obvious because the life he's in is so damn troublesome. He may seem all nice, he may seem like a pushover, but never try his limit or you'll face his anger. His life is tough, and he knows others too have it tough, but everyone is different and they should never be compared. Comparison kill his spirit, comparison killed his mind, it is as though it is no more his but rather it is others. He is disturbingly disturbed and sometimes extremely the extreme, but this is rare as its a rare phenomenon. He is nothing but a fool indeed, living thru this life with all he got. His life seems awful, but it is to him alone, he wouldn't understand others as how others wouldn't understand him. Thank you so much for reading this shit, as it means alot for his stuff to be read.


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Tuesday, October 26, 2004

ooooo another day gone by .....

wahhhhhhh ..... doing this blog just rite after my dinner .... or should i say ... open fast ...... with 4 slices or pieces of pizza ....... is it slices or pieces ??????? for pizza ????? well anywayz .... im now pretty bloated ...... could barely move ......

wahhh .... today seems to be abit down ........ not sure why ....... might be due to multiple factors .... such as lack of sleep .... lack of rest .... aggitated with the empty stomach ......... ooooo stomach ..... wahhh ... dam sien man .... everyone has been like .... offering food to me ..... forgetting dat im fasting ...... haihz ..... summore joey ...... 1st time was a joke i can see .... but 2nd time ..... dat time she really forget ..... n offered sum timeout .... haihz ... i wan it soooo badly ..... but hey ... i remembered im fasting ....... soooo i was like .... god dam ... i wanna eat sum freaking timeout ......

ooooo back to the feeling down situation ..... yeah ... those things kinda had the mmost effect ...... n 1 more thing .... the thought of studying ..... oooo god dam ..... i hate studying ..... forced to study ..... i tried my best to study .... sooo i did IS past year paper ..... cracking my head ..... trying to answer those question ... though it was simple ..... but my memory was like ..... blank ...... soo ... went through IS notes ..... answering the questions ...... but by then ... my mood for doing any work .... was totally gone ....... but i continued to do ...... n do .... n do .... until my mind could not take it anymore ..... soo ... i left my table went walking around ..... then sat at 1 place n stone there ...... for like .... dunno how long ........ n this time ..... there was a birthday party for wilson in the cafeteria ....... there was a nice choco cake ....... omg .... my mouth was like watering ...... i wanna eat it sooooo bad ...... the smell was like ..... ooooo damm it ..... soo ... celebrated wilson's birthday ..... wilson was expecting his face in the cake .... but there was a twist ...... tadadada

tai ka jie ..... my big sis .,.... yap pei shan .... took out like a muffin .... or a smaller version of the cake .... n stuff it rite in wilson's face ..... wahhhh ..... i had a good laugh there ...... after awhile .... the cake was all over the floor ..... the small cake ... not the big cake ...... anywayz ... i went back to my stoning ..... cos .... i was like .... sure they were going to serve the cake ...... sooo i was like sitting near the table where the cake was served ..... then tai ke jie ..... came up to me ... offering me cake ..... rite in front of my face ...... i was dam freaking tempted to take it n eat it ....... but luckily .... my brain was able to think straight n told tai ka jie dat i cant eat dat ...... then .... finally she remembered .... dat i was fasting ...... ahhhh ..... n i praised her as a genius ..... but hey .... geniuses forgets 2 ...... soo .. cant blame her ...... plus she say i look 2 chinese for i really do look like a chinese .... ppl would never know im a malay until they know my full name ..... n i do talk to her in chinese .... i actually replied dat i cant eat in cantonese ..... then only she remembered ..... hahahaha ...... well then ..... went back to the table to stone abit ......

then ... abit later ... dat sumone came by ..... n dat sumone is ... sue lin ..... she came by ... sit at my table..... we talked for awhile ...... then she said she wanted to leave ..... soo .. i followed her to her car ...... there ... she gave me a small little gift .... or more of a reminder .... dat we have been together ..... for ..... _____ weeks ...... soo .... i was pretty tired ... i could see her face abit upset cos i wasnt enthusiastic .... will apologize to her later on in the nite ..... then went back to my table ..... wanting to go off already ..... going back la .... soo ...... after packing my things .... kinda drawn to my frens ... who was reading female mag ..... there were more guys seeing it than girls .... 2 girls ... n 3-4 guys ... but basically see pictures .... then .. fater finishing ... i went back home .... but visit leisure mall .... to buy my essential ..... my mag ..... n bought my dinner .... n had my dinner ... n now im here .....

sooo ... this is how long winded the life of MaS is for this very monday .... a day ...... dat is drawing closer n closer to the finals ...... muahahahaha ..... may i survive through this nite .....

posted by Elwyn at 7:44 PM

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